Toddler Toilet Training help! (merged)

Hapless_2

Unfortunately some nursery schools don't see the difference between a child who is not potty trained and a child who has medical problems!

Rachie_B

although they will be prepared for accidents etc ,they will almost certainly expect a child to be dry / clean most of the time

some children aren't ready til nearer 3.5 yrs ,but a lot are.it sounds like your friend just cannot be bothered with even trying ?! :rolleyes:

annaangeluk_2

conradmum wrote: »

The school will most certainly expect her to be dry. How they react if she wets/soils herself varies from school to school. I have heard of schools that will phone the parent up and tell them they have to come in and change their child.

(A long time ago - and in a different country - I heard of a woman who took her child to school for her first day and handed the teacher a pack of nappies and a bottle. :eek: The teacher handed them back and told her to bring her child back when she was normal!)

Your friend's attitude is appalling, and it simply won't work anyway. If the child isn't consistently encouraged at home and at nursery then potty training is going to be long and probably traumatic for the child. I feel sorry for her.

I remember wetting myself at primary school and my mum being called into school!!

I'm appalled by her attitude too! What makes it worse is that she doesn't work so is at home with her daughter all day so has much more time to do it! I took a week off work to get my dd potty trained and can honestly say I quite enjoyed it! And was quite proud of myself when it was done. In my opinion it;s "my child, my responsibilty!" but that doesn't seem to be shared by everyone! :rolleyes:

Zed42

I think she's in for a reality check.

My DD began "playgroup" when she was 2.5yrs on the understanding that she was fully potty trained..... to the pt that the week before I 'phoned up to tell them that I would have to postpone her starting due to the fact that she'd only been dry 6 days (time crept up on us!) .... but she started on time, and playgroup were understanding to accept the odd accident (provided clothes were there to change her into), but there is no way she could have started w/o being 90% there. Accidents do happen, but parental laziness is unacceptable.

On the flip side ... my DD is also at paid nursery and they helped me with her potty training, although I did the brunt of it, taking time off .. and DD and I thoroughly enjoyed the excitement of her becoming a "big girl" (her words, LOL!)

inkie

She needs to get her finger out and get her trained, or why not delay the start for Nursery until she is trained? Would probably seem reasonable for the girl to start after christmas at school, at the start of a new term.

caseystar

I agree this parent should be taking responsibility, the teachers and staff have enough to do. Plus a child starting school is often a scary experience and NOT the best time to start potty training.
Accidents do happen and i think teachers of nursary children expect that, but accidents are just that. Not being bothered to train your child before they start nursary is just lazy and unfair to the child.
My son took his time training and could have went to nursary in june this year but we put it back till he was totally dry, he now starts next month.

mrcow

annaangeluk wrote: »

Will the school expect her to be dry before she starts in Nov?

Sorry for the rant, but her attitude just really annoys me!

Not necessarily.....it's really between her and the nursery. If they are happy to help potty train later after the little girl has started, then that's entirely up to them and the mother.

It's odd that you refer to this lady as your "friend" but then feel happy to slag her off to all and sundry on the internet. You may personally think she's "disgusting" and "lazy", but have you considered that her daughter may just not be ready for potty training yet? Children all develop at different rates and if the nursery is happy to support her, then is it really anyone else's business?

elaine373

mrcow wrote: »

Not necessarily.....it's really between her and the nursery. If they are happy to help potty train later after the little girl has started, then that's entirely up to them and the mother.

It's odd that you refer to this lady as your "friend" but then feel happy to slag her off to all and sundry on the internet. You may personally think she's "disgusting" and "lazy", but have you considered that her daughter may just not be ready for potty training yet? Children all develop at different rates and if the nursery is happy to support her, then is it really anyone else's business?

Couldnt have said it better myself.:T

achtunglady

My girl turned three in August, and starts nursery next Tuesday but despite me trying and trying with her, shes just not getting the hang of toilet training. I started when she was two, but I don't think she was ready and tried again 2 months later but no luck and trying again every two months. I have tried saying things like big girls don't wear nappies and offering her encouragement by giving her a treat when she does perform, not every child can pick it up straight away and to be honest I'm sick of other parents saying their child picked it up in two days/ or a week.

The nursery have said they wont change nappies but if she wets herself they will call me up to change her. My son was dry when he went to playgroup but still had accidents, was too engrossed with playing to go to the loo.

Perhaps some of the parents who managed to get their own kids toilet trained should help the others, or better still, set up a business training children!!

tiamai_d

Yes, they will expect her to be dry unless there is a medical reason for her not being toilet trained yet.

She has to make an attempt and if she is having difficulty, speak to her HV, GP etc. The nursery can ask for a letter from her GP detailing why toilet training is not in place.

However, I think that before you slag her off you should make sure you have your facts correct. Any reason for a lack of senstaion will hinder toilet training and there may be no signs at all.

Either way its not really any of your business if you are just finding out to sit on your high horse. If you intend to help her, then fair enough.