12 to 24 week pregnancy thread

moneypuddle

Thanks kitten pie. Its partly because she was just so casual about the whole thing and had a very 'i've done this a thousand times before' attitude that made me feel so insignificant and unimportant, and being my first baby I just wanted everything to be perfect.

I'm sure once I have my little boy, I will not be able to have imagined life with a little girl, but its hard at the minute

Thanks for replying

fluffnutter

moneypuddle, that's really sad and your sonographer sounds a real pain. You can't get back those special moments can you? so for her to ruin it seems really unfair.

Re. the photos, my 20 week scan ones were rubbish too. Perhaps it's something to do with the increased size but they're nowhere as lovely as my 12 week ones. I've not shown them to anyone tbh, but that's mainly because I have some nice ones from the first scan. A number of other posters have said their 20 week scan ones were't great. Perhaps it's just one of those things?

Hopefully your gender disappointment will lift quickly. Try to remember that it's not your fault! If anything, it's your husband's fault! You can only pass on an X chromosome; it's the man that determines the sex of a baby, and it appears he produces boys! But please please don't think you've got any influence over that - you haven't. When you have your baby, he will be YOUR baby. You won't give a monkeys what his other boys look like, yours will be YOURS

I think you just had a rubbish sonographer, you were disappointed that your mum couldn't hear the 'announcement' like you'd planned and you're just pregnant which means basically, that you cry at anything. x

ikkle87

Money puddle I'm sorry you had a rubbish exPerience. I can't advise on the gender disappointment but if your going for a 4d scan there's a really good place in York.

moneypuddle

fluffnutter thank you! I think I have been building up to this scan for so long that I just feel so mad that it was spoiled for me, but you're right - I am going to adore my little boy no matter what. Been crying on and off all day which is so silly as I've just been told I have a healthy baby. Pregnancy hormones really do suck.

moneypuddle

Thanks ikkle - do you know the name of the place? We're looking at MeetYourBaby at the minute in Leeds, but they have advised waiting until 26 weeks, and thats £99 for a 4d scan, dvd, cd of photos, gender confirmation etc

mishkanorman

My 20 week scan pictures are poor too, you can see what it is but its not a typical pose,

its a shame she had a stroppy attitude moneypuddle, maybe she had had to give someone bad news before you and it made her short because she was upset rather than uncaring ? who knows, might be worth putting in a letter how disappointed you were though so you have some closure over the matter.

ikkle87

I'm not sure as it was my friend who went there I will see if I can find out for you though chick, although the package you've mentioned sounds really good, might have to see if I can get my OH to agree . Did you have your scan at H'gate or Ripon? I would definitely complain hun x

moneypuddle

I doubt the sonographer will have thought she did anything wrong. I didnt cry in front of her, and she'd probably be surprised to hear about a complaint

The website I've been looking at is this one http://www.meetyourbaby.com/meet_your_baby_offers.php That should open up on the offers page - have a look at Offer 1. Seems a good deal to me? £30 deposit and then pay the rest on the scan day, and they have some really good recommendations. Might see you there!

I always thought they were a bit of a waste of money and that we wouldn't go for one, because OH thinks they make the baby look as though its been 'pickled' haha but after the disappointment of today, I need to do it just to feel better. Shame its not free!

sexymouse

Hi moneypuddle - sorry I wasn't around when you needed me! The pictures from my 20 week scan weren't very good either - I put it down to the fact that I was in a different room to my 12 week scan where they obviously had a higher spec machine as it's used as the base for the consultant, but from posts on here, it sounds as though it could just be something to do with the size of the baby at that stage. Massive hugs to you. I had my scan on 11th May, so a week and a bit ago. I think the main thing that helped me, was reading all of the posts by others on forums such as babycentre, and also the lovely posts by the ladies on the MSE Pregnancy thread too. They made me realise that my feelings were normal, and that I shouldn't try to rush getting over them. I'm starting to get used to the idea of having a boy now, but I still don't get excited when I tell people what I'm having and they congratulate me on it. I still find my eye automatically drawn to pretty girl baby clothes, and thinking I'll never have that. I think the thing is, is that it's a greiving process, so you need to go through all of the emotions to get through to the other side of them - sadness, anger, guilt etc. I didn't think that my pregnancy hormones were particularly affecting me, and as you've experienced, I had a feeling it was a boy all along - I was just hoping the sonographer would tell me differently as I was partly in denial too. Have you spoken to anyone about your feelings at all? I had a negative reaction from my Mum when I told her about my gender disappointment, but she's since read up on it, and says she understands me a bit more now, which I'm relieved about. One of my friends was brilliant though, and she texted me with the link to the babycentre thread, and told me she was there for me if I needed to talk. She also texted me later on in the day to let me know that she was thinking of me too, which really meant a lot. How is your OH feeling? Have you talked things through together? Knowing that although Moon wasn't feeling the same way as me (he really wanted a boy) made it harder for me, but once he understood my feelings and showed he supported me, it meant I didn't feel so alone. Feel free to PM me if you want to. If you haven't already read them, then have a look back through some of the posts following on from my confession on the main pregnancy thread. The ladies on there are great, and the comments will apply to you just as much as they did to me. Hugs again, and feel free to PM me if you want to.

sexymouse xx

moneypuddle

Thanks sexymouse for replying. I think it is a real grieving process which just seems wrong because you really haven't lost anything, apart from your own dreams. And I'd so rather have had the 'boy' news than the news that anything was wrong with the baby. I feel slightly better now (scan was at 10am) but I think this is going to take a while to get over, just like you.

I feel guilty talking about it so apart from OH I don't really want to mention it to anyone in real life. I dont know why I have to uphold the 'everything is rosey' view but I feel I need to. My mum thinks I'm just disappointed about the photos which I partly am but I'd get over those, especially if I was having a girl. In fact I can honestly say if I was having a girl I would be on top of the world and really wouldn't care about the photos.

The sonographer said 'probably a boy' so i'm guessing she saw something which made her think that but I think we're going to go for the 4d scan anyway just to double check. I just dont want to feel a second bout of disappointment again, when they just confirm its a boy again.

I just feel really numb about it, which is so stupid because when you plan to conceive you know it's 50/50 as to whether you'll have a boy or girl. I feel so annoyed with myself for being unreasonable. I really can't face work tomorrow

Hope you're doing ok x