12 to 24 week pregnancy thread

AMC1979

I'm 25 weeks now – can I still stay? :-)

I've got another midwife appointment at the doctor's on Tuesday morning. Last time I asked her some questions about feeding and stuff and she just dismissively said 'They'll tell you all that in the antenatal classes'. I thought midwives were supposed to be more helpful? I get the Bounty email and it says you should ask your midwife lots of questions. There are apparently some free antenatal classes in my area so I planned to go to them in May and June, but why can't I ask her the information now?

I thought of saying to her if she fobs me off again that it would really reassure me to have this information now. But she does act like I should know this stuff/have all this information at my fingertips already. She told me off last time for not ringing the hospital to make an appointment to go and look at the birthing ward, because the number has been scribbled in my notes since my booking in appointment before Xmas. I have read the notes but the original midwife wrote in really scrawly handwriting and I probably didn't take it in. I still haven't managed to ring the hospital! Am I right to feel a bit aggrieved here?

I'm not sure either which midwife will be there when I give birth. I think I asked the midwife at my last appointment and she said it depended who was on duty, which didn't seem very helpful. Wouldn't it be reassuring to know that a midwife who's seen you throughout will be the one there when you give birth? I don't know what to think.

By the way, I haven't got any backache yet, but I'm definitely more tired these days, just walking around. I went to Paris for a long weekend with my husband and felt exhausted just changing trains on the Metro and walking up stairs!

shell_girl

The first midwife I saw was a bit scatty - she phoned me just before my 12 week appt and said we could do it over the phone, and that she'd call me when she needed to see me again. A friend said that I should have seen her again at 16 weeks, so I made an appt. Turns out she had left. The midwife I did see was really nice though, she looked thrugh my notes and added all the things the first one hadn't put in, like when I'm supposed to see her and my bloods results.

It meant that I couldn't have the screening for Downs though- which for me isn't a problem at all but may have been a problem for someone else.

I suppose they've got no way of knowing who will be there when you give birth- unless you can give them a definite date and time then they have no idea who will be on shift that day / night. After all, the midwife who looks after you through your pregnancy will also be looking after lots of other women as well, so there's no way they could be on standby for everyone under their care going into labour.

Take deep breaths, I think it's easy to get a bit frustrated with the system, especially if it's all new (this is my first baby) and they've seen it all hundreds if not thousands of times. I just keep telling myself that women hve been doing this for thousands of years without anywhere near as much intervention as we get now, so am going by my instincts- if I feel ok then everything probably is ok!

AMC1979

Thanks shell_girl! You make good points. This is my first baby too ... I just think my midwife makes too many assumptions considering I've never had a baby before. And she could be more helpful! If we do have a second baby eventually I won't feel so lacking in knowledge but I think midwives should answer all your questions especially the first time and not be dismissive.

rjh090384

This is my second but my first was four years ago and the midwives presume I know everything but a lot has changed and I have a dodgy memory. And they don't see me very often just booking in at 10 weeks 16 weeks and next appt isn't till 28 weeks. I wish they don't presume everyone knows everything

AMC1979

rjh090384, I've read that if you've had a baby before then you don't get seen as often by the midwife. I don't know why because I would have thought that every time you're pregnant you deserve the same care and attention. But maybe they think you're less at risk or that you know it all! I agree it's not right though. I was sent a petition email from the Bounty website to sign to ask for 5,000 more NHS midwives. Maybe we don't get the attention we need because they're overstretched.

You can sign the petition here, it's a worthy cause:

http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/13716

rjh090384

No I don't get seen as often and I think it's ridiculous that I have there's months between midwives checks. Lucky baby lets me know he is ok xx

snowbean

Hello, hope it's ok if I join you? I'm 14wks today.

The 2 different midwifes which I've seen so far have seemed a bit scatty too. Both were stand-ins for the actual midwife, and the second one was especially stressed as she'd had several appointments booked in for half hour slots, when we should have had an hour. She didn't have time to go through half the stuff in my booklet, or really to answer any questions. When I came out of the appointment, the reception staff were all in a meeting, so I couldn't book up for my next appointment, and I've just realised that I've forgotten to phone them up and do so :cool: so I bet I won't be able now to get an appointment for 2 weeks time. So cross with myself for forgetting.

Hope everyone is enjoying the long weekend!

jediquigley

not very promising stories about midwifes. it feels like i havent see anyone for ages since my scan at 20 week weeks, my next midwife appt is when i am 25 weeks then 28 weeks - i think they become more frequent then. i was given a NICE booklet of guidelines which tells you when you should see your midwife and what checks she will carry out at different appointments. i am looking forward to my belly being measured at my next appt and seeing it plotted on the graph in my notes.

i did find my initial booking in appt a rush, i read through my notes afterwards and realised she had made assumptions and hadnt asked me questions. one biggy was the questions about pre-eclampsia, i answer yes to two of the questions (first time preg and family history of pre-eclampsia) which means they should have put me on Asperin weeks ago. i havent mentioned this as i wont go on any drugs unless there is a problem.

went looking at cots today and have choosen one at toys r us, will order when in stock

off to watch the voice........

Laura

bellola

Ooh laura how exciting, what's the cot you are after? I'm 18+2 and have 20 week scan in 2 weeks then will be cot shopping properly. Have found a few nice white ones in babies r us, the tuscany and shoreditch I like. Then it's the minefield of pushchairs!

RebekahR

Don't get too excited ... I have just had my 24 week appointment and had nothing new done since my week 16 one ... no measurements. That said at now 25 weeks I am still wearing some of my origional clothes and bump is small.