12 to 24 week pregnancy thread

Fishcake_Random

ahhh I see. Sorry I kinda went off on one there lol
x x x

MrsExcited

fluffnutter wrote: »

Why have we got to this position whereby there are 'good' labours and 'bad' labours?? It's really prevalent. I was reading my baby book the other day and hearing women's stories of labours. This one woman said 'I was pleased I'd managed to endure at least part of my labour with no pain relief'. It really got me thinking. Why?? Why is it more 'impressive' to go through labour without pain relief? Why do people boast about 'Ooh, I only had gas and air' and everyone nods in approval? Why do we expect women to be stoical during what can be an incredibly traumatic time. It hurts having a baby! What other painful experience can you imagine (e.g. breaking a bone, suffering with gallstones pain) where you're applauded if you 'get through it' with no pain relief?? It's bizarre! Not to mention barbaric.

You don't get a medal for managing labour without pain relief. It doesn't make you a better mother. It's about time we woke up to the fact that any experience is a valid one, and every birth where you and your baby arrive the other side safely is a success. We're not failures if we want a epidural, !!!!!!.

Been lurking in the background for the past few days but just wanted to say THANK YOU for posting this!! It's exactly how I feel. I'm almost 95% sure that I want an epidural but when I tell people that they say "well you might change your mind" or "you might surprise yourself". My position is that if there is pain relief going I'm having it! Why put yourself through that if there is no need to?

I understand that we all have different perceptions of what we want our births to be like but i think that we should respect other people's ideas and plans too.

FishCake - I'm sorry that you feel the way you do. Please don't feel like a failure - you did an amazing thing - you made a baby. I hope that one day you will be able to reconcile your feelings and put them behind you.

lotsa love ladies and gents xxxxxxxx p.s It's great to have guys on the board!:)

MrsManda

*hugs* to fishcake, it sounds like you had an awful experience Hopefully this time your pregnancy and labour will go smoothly, the counselling sounds like a good idea as anything which helps you get into a more positive outlook is likely to make your pregnancy/labour easier and a lot less scary*hugs*

I don't understand why anyone would look down on someone for taking pain relief if it's available. I have friends who aren't planning for an epidural because they're giving birth at their local birthing centre but every other form of pain relief available is being lined up.

I haven't a clue about my birth plan/what I want yet and you never know, I may be very lucky and have a quick, relatively pain free labour (well a girl can dream ). But I'm not going to be a martyr and if I need it I will take all the pain relief available.

TBH I'm currently avoiding any form of birth planning because the idea scares me and I figure I have enough time to deal with it later. Plus after my 28 week scan my consultants may have ideas of their own.

ColourMePurple

Thank you lisa16

Hi, just wanted to say, check with the shop as most places start the warranty from either the due date or the day your baby is born. I know both mothercare and mamas and papas do. i'm getting my pram from a local independant store and they also do the same, i think its a pretty common practice as they know people want to get them sorted in advance but obviously won't be using them until the baby arrives.

I will definitely be doing that now as I am the kind of person that usually buys and then throws away when it don't work. Buggies are so expensive nowadays - I would rather break it down and sell it in bits and pieces.

I'm sorry to hear of all of the horrible experiences of Labour - to be honest I don't even remember any of mine that well. The only reason I didn't have any other pain relief except pethidine is because they both came out so quick. My eldest had a bullet shaped head, because as I kept pushing I was lifting my backside up and she kept going back in. I had to have three hospital staff, my ma and my partner holding me down.

I just kept falling asleep on the pethidine - accidentally locking myself in the bathroom and sleeping on the toilet until the next contraction. I didn't want to be touched - by anyone, I just wanted to strip naked and walk, crawl and roll around. And the apparatus they strap to your belly - I ripped right off. I can't imagine being still or lying down while I have contractions, I am dreading it 3rd time round.

Everyone's experience of Labour is personal and vastly different and it definitely doesn't make anyone a failure if it doesn't go to what ever plan a person has had in mind. The main concern is just getting the baby out healthy and happy - no matter how its done.

I am sick and tired of hearing mothers talk about how they have done it naturally, with no drugs - who cares - good for you - blue peter badge - pat on the back. That child is still going to grow up and be as rabid as every other kid on the playground - (joke).

The respect should go to mothers who have had a difficult time during their labours and delivery as it affects them so deeply. It really shows how strong a woman can/ has to be to overcome the situation and the after effects.

ColourMePurple

We carry our babies for up to nine months - we go through the sickness - the tiredness - the emotional ups and downs - the changing bodies and smells around us - the worrying - the planning - the preparation... the list goes on...

No matter how ones labour pans out - we have all definitely earned our babies.

Screw the stigma!

Glad everyone that has been ill is getting better now.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...." that's the only nursery rhyme I know all the words too and I have been singing it to my bump recently.

rjh090384

So after two and a half hours at hospital to see
Consultant she basically told
Me they have no way of knowing if I will go into early labour due to lletz procedure and that I need to see anaesthetist to clear
Me on latex allergy and after that I can hopefully be discharged back to midwife led
Care at 36 weeks if all ok. So now I'm pooped. Just had two hour nap now gotta go get my little monster from nursery.

Back to Uni tomorrow with a full day at clinic. So much Uni work to do and housework but I think I need a rest tonight.

jediquigley

evening ladies

labour, yikes, i am trying to think positive thoughts, it is my first so all new to me. my sister had c-sections with both of her children, first was breach and the second she was in labour for days and nothing was happening and her BP was very high. i aim to stay away from drugs as much as possible, not because i want to be brave but because i am worried about the side effects for me and my baby.

i had my second midwife appt yesterday, was only about 20 mins long. urine ok, blood pressure ok, all other tests fine - then i got to hear babies heartbeat thudding away she got it within a few seconds.

i have my consultants appt in 2 weeks time - to go and talk about arthrogryposis a serious diability that my nephew was born with which could possibly be gene related. i am totally against an amino because of the miscarrige risk - i am hoping 20 week scan will show no probs with baby and that will be it.

i put 2cms on last week so 7cms bigger at 16 and a half weeks. have only put 5 pounds on which is a relief as i feel i am just constantly eating at the moment.

had a treat of fish and chips tonight and we are off out to the cinema, i hope i can stay awake hehe

Laura

Fishcake_Random

Ohhh I'm allergic to latex too!!!!
I never had any issue with it with DD, just had to wear a red bracelet thing with latex written on it, and I had a big cardboard box brought into the room with latex free written on it in biro with gloves and dressings.
The surgeon said he would have a quick check the theatre was latex free before I went in but apparently latex isnt as common in the hospital as it was due to the amount of people with allergys.
x x x

rjh090384

That's what I thought. But apparently it needs to be cleared with anaesthetist before they discharge me back to midwife care. Waste of time to be honest. I'll even tattoo no latex to my head lol.
It's not the most difficult concept to deal with lol

Fishcake_Random

I shall have to see if I end up being sent to one as well lol. x x x