Please please please help! Pregnant & suicidal over debts, redundancy & illness

gemini12

I cant add any useful advice that isnt already here but just wanted to send hugs and say things will get better no matter how black they look now.

handyman123_2

Hi Vickxzy, I hope you are feeling a little better now, look you have hundreds of folks on your side. I am not the only one who has read your post who has been in the black hole, there are literally hundreds of us who felt life was ending and that we had failed when we got into debt.

Look at the threads, the number of success stories, folks who have been where you are now and come out the other side stronger and better for it.

The people on MSE will give you all the support and love you need to overcome this, you have to think of yourself and the wee one. Follow the advice given, it will get most if not all of the annoyance off your back and give you the space to find your feet and sort this out. Remember they can't get blood out of a stone, and they certainly can't shoot you if you haven't the means to pay. If they could :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: I wouldn't be writing this post now.

There are experts on this site (Normal folks) who can give advice from their own personal experience. It will take a little time but it will get sorted out with their help.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. I will keep watching to see how your doing.

Warmest regards, Handy and the NTN bunch (Notice to Newcomers).:DXX

stupot_99

vicxzy wrote: »

Thank you so much everyone, I dont really have many friends I can talk to anymore since my Husb & I split as my close friends were mutual Fridends & disagreed with me falling pregnant only 12 months after we had split up, they said it wasnt fair on him even tho I left him because he had an affair! x

Well you have lots of friends here and we wont judge you. Praying that you get the help you need. There is nothing i can add to the other posts but if i think of anything ill pop it on.

Pott5y

Vicxy

Just wanted to check in and see how you, your unborn and the dog are feeling this morning.

Seems that you have loads and loads of friends on here who want to help you get through this, and we will all be here to help.

Good luck with today and the fresh challenges it may bring.

Pottsy

dancingfairy

Hi Viczxy - hope you are o.k this morning and you managed to get a bit of rest last night. Hopefully you managed to curl up with a good book or some mindless tv last night.
Today is a new day and there is still plenty of support here for you.
df

vicxzy

Thanks to everyone who has replied you are all brilliant I am totally overwhelmed! Sadly I didn't get much R&R last night as the Boss from hell has decided to pay me a visit At home today & only dropped this on me yesterday! She wanted to come yesterday straight after she rang! Shell be here soon & I've just sat staring at my bedroom walls all day crying (again!) & worrying about why she's coming (she said she was coming to collect something off me but I've been tipped off by colleague that she's got another agenda) Really scared, to make matters worse I have to go bk to work next week as my sick pay runs out, even though I'm too ill. Money is tight enough as it is without going onto half pay x

vicxzy

RAS my ex husb is living there, he cannot afford the mgr on his own so I have to pay towatds it to stop it being reposessed.
Please can anybody tell me what a CCJ & charging order are?x

dancingfairy

Hi -a ccj - is a county court judgement - basically when your debts have gone to court and the judge has decided that you are the person in question and that you do owe the money the company claims you do. In reality 99% of this is done by a bulk processing centre who pretty much rubber stamp the claims unless the person wants to dispute the debt or go before a judge etc.
A CCJ on it's own is not one of life greatest problems -it's not great and I believe you have to declare it for things like mortgages etc and it wrecks your credit rating but apart from that on it's own it's not dire. The problem with a CCJ is that once a company has got a CCJ then they will want to get their money back and there are various things they can then do - like instruct bailiffs or obtain a charging order etc. As I understand it at the moment the people you owe money to are just threatening all these things and haven't actually started to issue legal proceedings yet - they would have to write to you and send you court forms if they did.
A charging order is basically a security blanket for the company you owe money to - basically when the house is sold they will get their money back (there are some loopholes to avoid this but this is generally the idea) - only in exceptionally rare circumstances can they force a sale and they would have to go to court again to do this and it is highly, highly unlikely any sensible judge is likely to want people thrown out on the street.
df

dancingfairy

With respect to the boss don't let her bully you into anything - she is on very dodgy ground visiting you at home especially if she intends to try anything silly like making you redundant etc. I would try and stay as professional as possible - if she makes you feel uncomfortable it's your home and you can ask her to leave and agree to have the meeting at a more convenient time and place (and preferrably take someone with you for moral support). If you can't cancel then you need to try and take notes of what she is saying and remain as calm as possible. Don't agree to anything. Hopefully she will collect whatever it is and leave.
Stay Strong.
df

dancingfairy

Money Problems can be sorted
Stupid ex's can be sorted
Job problems and stupid bosses can be sorted.
It can all be sorted.
Please come back and let us know you are o.k (ish).

Whilst everyone here will help as much as they can I also feel that you need professional help so please please do contact the Samaritans as they are trained to help and won't judge you.
df