Please please please help! Pregnant & suicidal over debts, redundancy & illness

Katie-Kat-Kins

Just a thought re your ex and the house, would it be possible for you to ditch the rental place and live there if it won't sell? Just thinking about trying to save you some money.....

GEEGEE8

I just wanted to wish you well x

I went bankrupt over 3 years ago now, although it feels like yesterday lol.

All I can say is, money isn't the end of the world and bankruptcy isn't easy, but it's a lot easier than dealing with the impossible stress of debts, especially when you have limited options of getting yourself free from it.

It sounds to me like your credit record might already be in a bit of a mess, so if you are minus £950 a month, then you need to speak to a debt charity and discuss your options. One of which may be bankruptcy.

I just wanted to say that bankruptcy was my best option at the time, and I don't regret it for one minute.

It has opened up many doors for me, and I'm now at uni doing a degree. I have a car that I can afford (just about), and I am not looking over my shoulder all the time.

All the best, just stay focussed on what you need to do first x

money_honey

Hi Vicxzy, I don't have much to add to the fantastic advice you've already been given but just to say stay strong and we are all here for you. You can get great support advice from the people on these boards x

dancingfairy

Morning Vickxzy and followers :hello:. Hope everyone is o.k this morning - Vickxzy especially of course.
O.K I agree with post no. 85 I think it was - if you're not fit enough to go back to work you're not fit enough to go back to work and surely you should be entitled to benefits during this time? Please look into this - it sounds like others on here know much more about this sort of thing.
Re the debts- a DRO is a debt reduction order - it is a mini form of bankruptcy but you must owe under 15k and not own a house - now I don't believe this is suitable for you because obviously at the moment you own a house and if you were to sell then you would likely owe more than 15k.
Your unsecured debts aren't the main problem at the moment - you can pay them token payments whilst you think through all the options.
It appears to be the house is the main problem - ideally you would want to sell it and make some money on it or not loose anything but this looks like it is not possible at the moment. If you didn't sell then you run the risk of the mortgage not being paid - either by you or because your ex decides he doesn't want to/can't afford to pay his half - this is likely to lead to repossession which then is likely to lead to bankruptcy- the other alternative is to try and sell the house whilst minimising the negative equity - this will leave you with a shortfall which I believe you are both jointly responsible for - at this point you would then assess whether to do a debt management plan (dmp) with one of the charities or whether to go bankrupt depending on the size of the shortfall , combined with your other debts and whether you can get the ex to pay off some of all of the shortfall of the house sale- again at this point he can decide not to pay/can't pay so both parties will be chased for the money.
You really, really need to speak to a debt charity to go through all the options.
It looks like bankruptcy is the likely outcome and let's face it potentially the best for your health and wellbeing and the opportunity for a fresh start - if you can cope with everything you've been through then to be honest bankruptcy really won't be anything like as hard - in fact I think avoiding it is much harder. Whatever the options - at the end of the day your health is the most important thing , along with that of your unborn child and your dog of course and your new partner - money is just money at the end of the day.
The above is just my take on things - there may be alternatives but you need specialist advice from a debt charity - perhaps you can reach a settlement with the ex?
Anyway I hope today is a more peaceful day and you don't have any nasty surprises like the nightmare boss wanting to 'pop round' - grrr.
df

speeddial

Someone mentioned moving back into your old house and thus saving on the rent.

It seems your ex has landed on his feet, you are both paying half the mortgage however you have your rent to pay on top as well while your ex is enjoying the house with a mortgage subsidised by yourself.

I know it may be awkward but is there a possibility of you moving back into your old house, is it big enough to give both you and your ex enough space? Can your ex move out? Could you afford to pay the whole mortgage by yourself with your new partner and kick your ex out!!

wannaBrich

Hi Vicxzy,
how are you today?

just wanted to send best wishes :grouphug:

emiliah

Hi Vicxzy

Have just read your thread, and also wanted to say am thinking of you and hoping you are able to start getting problems sorted out.

You've had some wonderful advice and loads of support, which I hope will give you the confidence to tackle things when you are ready.

Did you manage to chat to your OH?

Hugs to you, baby, OH & doggie

dancingfairy

Hi Viczxy - I guess you might be lurking and too scared to post right now? Please let us know you are o.k - even if the day isn't going well.
df

florry39

please please contact cccs again as i found them fantastic to deal with,was in tears when i rang them also but they were so so helpful and were a god send, enabling me not to have to deal with phone calls and intimidating creditors. please also speak to your gp and midwife and cab as it is illegal to hassle pregnant women, and to make redundant during pregnancy. your employer needs to be careful re this. keep your chin up, i know it is extemely difficult but most of us have been in your shoes,and with the help of cccs are working through our difficulties.pregnancy is difficult enough without all this added stress...

haycorns

vicxzy wrote: »

Thanks all, Im not sure about Occ health we have a welfare dept but I'd need to go back to work first...?x

This sounds like the same thing. In fact if you've been off a while you might get to see them before you go back to make sure you are up to it. Best thing to do is ring HR and asked to be referred. i work in HR - we are there to make sure the employee is treated fairly and the managers don't step out of line in a way that could end up with the employee taking them to court.