Bullying partner? Comments pls

pearl123

I've been aware for sometime that my partner is awfuly bulling. I had a awful Xmas due to him laying down the law.
Anyway today whilst shopping he turned to me at the till and said " At the end of every week I (he) will check the fridge to see if all the food is used up so that there is no wastage."I lost my temper and told him what I l thougth of him and his idea but could no shout as was in a public place. He was telling me to keep it down.
I am very careful about food wastage, as I have been without money in the past. I'm very upset about the latest comments from him. Does anyone think that they are the comments from a bygone ere, almost victorian.
I'm in my 40's and certainly do make my opinion know to him re his behaviour.
Let me know you opinions please.

jackieglasgow

Bullying is domestic abuse, there is a thread at the top of the page about domestic abuse, its maybe worth reading and getting some clarity on the stuation, and a new perspective on things. More often than not, a partner who is verbally abusive and controlling becomes violent eventually. Think carefully about your relationship. x

Sublime_2

He sounds very controlling. I think you need to re-think your relationship.

Do you really want to spend the rest of your life like this?

poorly_scammo

pearl123 wrote: »

I've been aware for sometime that my partner is awfuly bulling.

Then make escape plans. Bullying grinds people down and robs them of their self esteem.

I'd leave before that happens.

pearl123

I've been in a bullying relationship before and was aware of some of the warning signs. Warning bells kept going off in my miind. I promised that I'd never get in this situation again. However, I had forgotten until recently that bullying almost always increases over time. It's coming to a head as I'm just getting more and more unhappy.

Sublime_2

Then you really should think about leaving. You still have a chance to make a new life, so grab it before its too late. Only get one shot at it.

jackieglasgow

Can't say any more than that, except the terrible cliche, that life isn't a rehearsal. Someone else on here has a fab signature which always makes me think, can't remember who right now sorry , but it says something along the lines of, "When I get to the end of my life I want to look back know I have lived the width of it as well as the length." Its never to late to change your life, especially for the better. x

RainbowChild_2

A controlling partner is not nice to live with..I think you know the answer to this one hun xxxx Good Luck

Bloomin_Freezing2

Gosh, i'm wondering what will happen if there is any food wastage?! I'd be worried for your safety. As someone else said, i'm sure this bullying behaviour will only escalate. I honestly think you are better off with a life away from him.

pupsicola

Its interesting that you refer to him as your partner and not your husband. If I were in a relationship with someone who spoke down to me like that it would be a very short lived thing. He sounds like a bit of a control freak and a verbal bully.

My ex husband was just the same. Every now and then he would make a nasty, undermining remark, almost like a threat. It was so subtly done that I questioned myself as to whether I was over-reacting. Just as you are with your partner.

I agree with the poster who said this is a form of abuse. My ex went on to get more and more out of control and the emotional abuse turned physical.

Dont put up with it

Starrystarrynight

I'd bin him. If you didn't want to do that, tell him that, if he's so interested in preventing waste, that he can be in charge of all the shopping, preparation, cooking, washing up and so on, then you could laze around like Lady Muck being waited on hand and foot.
He sounds awful and I'd get rid of him in a heartbeat. He could have phrased it so much better if his motives are good. He sounds like a bully.