"so why don't you want children?"

Kate78

Here's a cracker:

Nosey Colleague: Congratulations! (re - engagement). So you'll be planning a family next then won't you?

Me: Well, we'll just see what happens next (my standard response - OH and I are undecided on kids at the mo).

NC: But you do want kids though, don't you?

Me: We'll see...

The funny thing is that this woman is married, nearer 40 than 30 and has no children BY CHOICE, so surely she must know how irritating this !!!!!! is!?

pupsicola

Kate78 wrote: »

Here's a cracker:

Nosey Colleague: Congratulations! (re - engagement). So you'll be planning a family next then won't you?

Me: Well, we'll just see what happens next (my standard response - OH and I are undecided on kids at the mo).

NC: But you do want kids though, don't you?

Me: We'll see...

The funny thing is that this woman is married, nearer 40 than 30 and has no children BY CHOICE, so surely she must know how irritating this !!!!!! is!?

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Classic :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Plans_all_plans

What's wrong with your friends asking whether you'd like kids?!

If I asked someone and they said they didn't want any then I'd leave it at that, but talk about taking offence at nothing if the question itself gets to you!

cgk1

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

What's wrong with your friends asking whether you'd like kids?!

If I asked someone and they said they didn't want any then I'd leave it at that, but talk about taking offence at nothing if the question itself gets to you!

It does not, please read the opening post more carefully.

Alikay

Do people really ask whether or not you want children any more than they ask about other stuff? When I was single I was constantly asked "are you courting?". When you're going out with someone it's "when are you two getting married?". Once married the aforementioned grilling over kids begins. Inevitably questions about baby no 2,3,4 or whatever commence almost immediately you've delivered the placenta.

Does it stop when you're family is complete? Hell, no! Interrogations commence about schools, your own return to a "proper career" rather than whatever you've been doing while kids are little, what your childrens' uni and career aspirations are. Heck I'm now approaching my 50th and am constantly quizzed on my plans for a rip-roaring humdinger of a birthday celebration!!

I think people are just nosy (call it "interested":cool:), and most of us either come out with something to shut up the questioner or are brave enough to say "it's none of your business"

Nessynoo

My mantra is "I haven't got the love, the money, the time or the space" for children. I also have strange dreams about keeping a baby in the boot of my car... definitly a sign I would be a bad mum anyway!!!

poet123

cgk1 wrote: »

Why are people (well generally parents*) so aggressively noisy when you tell them (after they have asked) you don't want or plan to have any children? Even worse some seem to take it as a personal insult or suggest that it must mean that you had a terrible childhood. What's all that about?


* Edit: I should be a bit clearer - I mean 'people with children' not my parents who couldn't give a toss either way.

They are really rude if they tack that tack with you, so you have two choices either be rude back or ignore them. Lots of people just like to interfere.

poorly_scammo

cgk1 wrote: »

Why are people (well generally parents*) so aggressively noisy when you tell them (after they have asked) you don't want or plan to have any children? Even worse some seem to take it as a personal insult or suggest that it must mean that you had a terrible childhood. What's all that about?


* Edit: I should be a bit clearer - I mean 'people with children' not my parents who couldn't give a toss either way.

There are many who seem to view others who don't live conventional/similar live to themselves as either a threat to their own personal happiness or something to be pitied and cajoled.

If someone asks why I don't want children, I just say that I don't really like them and when I see them always envisage them between two slices of bread with copious quantities of HP Sauce. Nosey sods.

Yolina

Nessynoo wrote: »

My mantra is "I haven't got the love, the money, the time or the space" for children. I also have strange dreams about keeping a baby in the boot of my car... definitly a sign I would be a bad mum anyway!!!

lol. I remember a place I was temping at many years ago, and for some reason one of the girls in the office was constantly telling me that I should have kids, I didn't know what I was missing and that it was so great blah blah blah. After weeks of that and when I got to my last day there, I told her I'd like to get her kids a Xmas present so could she kindly inform me of where I could find a "play on the M1" kit. That shut her up

Bunny

the world would be a boring place if we all wanted the same things in life.
I've got a baby girl, but my brother and his wife don't plan on kids, they enjoy going on their holidays without worrying about taking children, is it child friendly etc.
each to their own. I don't know why it's such a big issue with some people.