"so why don't you want children?"

ninky_2

i'm cfbc and i don't mind people asking if i have kids and if i want them etc...so long as they don't make negative / judgemental comments about it.

i think some people are genuinely curious and it is so far out of their expectations from life. it gives you a chance to put your point over - and after all that is how we communicate and connect as human beings.

i've actually had some positive comments from people with children like "if only more people were like you". these tend to be career women with decent prospects who also happen to have kids. then there are some female partners of my husband's friends who aren't exactly rude but you can tell they think i'm a bit odd. they are all with no qualifications and/or decent job prospects and so i can see why they see childbearing as their raison d'etre.

RoxieW

Fuzzy_Duck wrote: »

Massive pet hate of my mine! Especially as prams tend to be so incredibly huge these days and some parents insist on walking side by side with their prams so they take up the whole pavement. One of my earliest memories is sobbing as a tot after a woman ran her pram over my feet (to this day I hope she simply didn't notice me, although the whole street could have heard my wailing!) , and a few years ago I was walking through town and got caught in a massive crowd of people. We weren't going anywhere and the moron behind me kept ramming his pram into my ankles, again and again and again.

My feelings are if you feel the need to use your child's pram as a battering ram/assault weapon, you shouldn't have had them. Horrible people.

When I'm out and about with my pushchair, particularly in crowded places, I get a lot of people not looking where they are going and walking straight Into my pram, then looking at me aghast like I've done something wrong! I also get those who, when I'm waiting in a crowd, will cut in front of me. Grrrrrr!

Fuzzy_Duck

RoxieW wrote: »

When I'm out and about with my pushchair, particularly in crowded places, I get a lot of people not looking where they are going and walking straight Into my pram, then looking at me aghast like I've done something wrong! I also get those who, when I'm waiting in a crowd, will cut in front of me. Grrrrrr!

That is equally rude; I live in Birmingham and it's ridiculous how many people just barge at you and expect you to move, or don't bother looking at all and as you say give you a disgusted look when they crashed into you (this is particularly annoying as I always say 'sorry' anyway!)

Saying that I have had a few near misses where walking through a big crowd of people someone in front of me has moved at the last minute and there's suddenly a pram right in front of me- thus far have managed some pretty amazing ballet-like twists to stop myself falling onto anyone's child! Also have this problem with little children who I simply don't see until the last second because they're hidden from view.

Plans_all_plans

ninky wrote: »

i've actually had some positive comments from people with children like "if only more people were like you". these tend to be career women with decent prospects who also happen to have kids. then there are some female partners of my husband's friends who aren't exactly rude but you can tell they think i'm a bit odd. they are all with no qualifications and/or decent job prospects and so i can see why they see childbearing as their raison d'etre.

I agree with the first part of your post, but this bit made me laugh!

Yes, it's only women with poor qualifications/bad jobs who perceive you as slightly odd! :rotfl:

Go-getting career women have no idea what it's like to raise a child themselves, so they'll never know the joy that can be had through bringing them up!

For the record, I'm well educated and my husband and I have chosen for me to be at home with our child in order to bring her up with our values/educate her as we see fit. I could get myself a good job in a heartbeat but I CHOOSE not to, just as you choose not to have children!

Googlewhacker

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

I agree with the first part of your post, but this bit made me laugh!

Yes, it's only women with poor qualifications/bad jobs who perceive you as slightly odd! :rotfl:

Go-getting career women have no idea what it's like to raise a child themselves, so they'll never know the joy that can be had through bringing them up!

For the record, I'm well educated and my husband and I have chosen for me to be at home with our child in order to bring her up with our values/educate her as we see fit. I could get myself a good job in a heartbeat but I CHOOSE not to, just as you choose not to have children!

So you can't be a go-getting career woman and have children?

georgie262

I have a friend, who between her, her sister and brother have 8 children - when commenting on the kids (I can't remember what I said but it wasn't offensive I love all those kids dearly) was told by the brother to "shut it george you childless freak". I know he didn't actually mean it as anything other than a joke but there could've have been any number of reasons I was Childless and thought the comment more than a little thoughtless.

SandC

Googlewhacker wrote: »

So you can't be a go-getting career woman and have children?

Just as it's often insinuated that if you choose not to have children that you must be a go-getting career woman - as opposed to just 'having a job that we quite like' as most of us actually are (with or without children).

sassyblue

georgie262 wrote: »

I have a friend, who between her, her sister and brother have 8 children - when commenting on the kids (I can't remember what I said but it wasn't offensive I love all those kids dearly) was told by the brother to "shut it george you childless freak". I know he didn't actually mean it as anything other than a joke but there could've have been any number of reasons I was Childless and thought the comment more than a little thoughtless.

That's beyond stupid and rude, it's a downright bizarre thing to say.

ninky_2

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

I agree with the first part of your post, but this bit made me laugh!

Yes, it's only women with poor qualifications/bad jobs who perceive you as slightly odd! :rotfl:

Go-getting career women have no idea what it's like to raise a child themselves, so they'll never know the joy that can be had through bringing them up!

For the record, I'm well educated and my husband and I have chosen for me to be at home with our child in order to bring her up with our values/educate her as we see fit. I could get myself a good job in a heartbeat but I CHOOSE not to, just as you choose not to have children!

i don't think that's the case at all it's just my experience from the reactions i've had from people in our particular social circle and their life expectations / ambitions are the only thing i can think of as the reason.

ninky_2

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

For the record, I'm well educated and my husband and I have chosen for me to be at home with our child in order to bring her up with our values/educate her as we see fit. I could get myself a good job in a heartbeat but I CHOOSE not to, just as you choose not to have children!

you kind of add to my point though. you are well educated and don't think i'm odd (i hope)