"so why don't you want children?"

tbourner

SandC wrote: »

I have requested that people be allowed to bring their new puppies and kittens in as well for those of us who have more of an affinity with animals but apparently that's a no go.

I asked about that when they agreed to build a new creche and playcentre at great cost and taking up car park space, whether we could have a kennel block put in so I didn't have to leave the dogs at home - everyone thought I was joking.

sassyblue

SandC wrote: »

I have requested that people be allowed to bring their new puppies and kittens in as well for those of us who have more of an affinity with animals but apparently that's a no go.

Done_and_Dusted wrote: »

What annoys me is when you have to work xmas because you don't have any children so the people "with" children can have it off. Like their xmas is more important than mine!!

tbourner wrote: »

I asked about that when they agreed to build a new creche and playcentre at great cost and taking up car park space, whether we could have a kennel block put in so I didn't have to leave the dogs at home - everyone thought I was joking.

Love those attitudes. :rotfl:

Each to their own l reckon, we didn't want kids, then we did but it didn't happen for 7 years and lots of fertility treatment (paid for by ourselves) so personally l'm thrilled to be a mum and even able to use those holy mother and toddler parking spaces. :rotfl:

I don't consider myself better than any of you for being a mum but nor should you consider yourselves better or more hard-done-by if you're not getting something.

I don't understand why you see those things as 'benefits' if you chose not to have kids?

SandC

There's another example of the patronising way we are sometimes treated by those who chose to have children. I don't need to explain it because those of us who don't have children will already understand.

Fuzzy_Duck

SandC wrote: »

I have requested that people be allowed to bring their new puppies and kittens in as well for those of us who have more of an affinity with animals but apparently that's a no go.

We've had a couple of puppies brought into our workplace Best distraction ever!

bratz81

I am loving some of the comments on this thread to shoot back at people who keep asking me if I want kids!
I don't want kids, and never really have. When I was younger (about 19/20) I thought I would have some as it's the norm, then realised I didn't really want to.
Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against children, they can be fun and dead on, but I really don't want one of my own.

I also know that at 29 I might change my mind as I get older. And if I do fair enough. I can't see it but you never know. But I really hate people telling me I will change my mind, as if I don't know what I bloody well think!

I do also get the 'smug parent' thing. I seem to be surrounded by people who think they're better because they've managed to reproduce. Wow, well done, what do you want a medal?? And please don't get me started on those people who think cos they are walking about with a pram everyone has to jump out of their way and they've the right to run over your ankles!

minerva_windsong

I'm still not sure if I want kids, mainly because I worry that I would be a terrible mother. I used to work on a supermarket and you'd get mums bringing their babies and toddlers through the checkout, and I was rubbish at interacting with them and felt guilty about it compared to the other girls my age who were really good at that stuff. However since my sisters became mums (one has a three year old and the other has a five month old) and I've spent time around babies and toddlers I've warmed to the idea a bit more, which I can only assume is down to practice! I'm still only 23 though and would like to have a bit more of a career and ideally be married and have a house before I have children, so my views might have changed again in a few more years.

That said, whether other people choose to have children or not is their business, not mine, and I wouldn't dream of casting aspersions on anyone's decision about such a huge, life-changing thing.

pupsicola

KiKi wrote: »

I haven't read this whole thread. But I'm a very maternal person with babies and kids (not towards other adults, generally!). I love babies. I've looked after newborns for days and nights, on end, very young babies, young children, older children...

I love kids. I'm great with them - and I'm particularly brilliant with very small babies. Have no problems taking them in for a few days and adapting my life for a week. And because of this, it seems even more incredible to people who know me that I don't want kids. I can't say "I'm not a baby person" because I am, and they know that. So then I get the "what a great shame - you'll change your mind".

But I don't want my own. I have NO desire whatsoever to have my *own* child, nor a child to stay for longer than a week! I love my life and I don't want it disrupted. I don't want to share my life with anyone - not a partner, nor a child. I like being alone, and I like my own company. I work alone, and live alone, and I have cats who I ADORE!

Thankfully my close friends don't ask questions because they know me - but complete strangers (esp if they see me with kids) always ask when I'm having one, or expect that I must be planning one very soon. Drives me crazy!

I absolutely accept that nothing is set in stone, and that it's always possible for people to change their minds. But I hate that so many other people have already decided that I will change my mind and they're not ashamed to say it. I particularly hate it when other people who didn't want kids and now have them (and are now converted parents!) insist that because they changed their mind, I will!

KiKi

Your life sounds bliss. Wish I had thought of doing that.

charlie792

Actually having children is something me and my OH have discussed in casual conversation and I was SO relived when he said he didn't want kids either. I have to admit I feel like Im the only person who isn't having children, the amount of new pregnancy's that seem to get announced by friends is beyond me - don't get me wrong I respect thier choice but it is not something I personally would want to do at this age.

After a somewhat disastrous New Year with me and my OH having to look after my very drunk 18 yr old sister it reiterated that I don't want to be a parent having to deal with that.
Funnily enough me and my OH have always agreed we'd rather a puppy any day than a baby, something which Ive ended up mentioning to my mum several times but she just laughed and says 'oh you'll change your mind soon enough'. That drives me mad. I personally know this is something I will not change my mind about for my own reasons but my own mother doesn't even want to accept that.

Please don't get me wrong to anyone who has kids on here, I totally respect your choices to do so, you can call me self-fish but I want to live my life how I want to live it and I know if I had children I wouldnt be able to

KiKi

pupsicola wrote: »

Your life sounds bliss. Wish I had thought of doing that.

What, working alone and living alone?

KiKi

sassyblue

SandC wrote: »

There's another example of the patronising way we are sometimes treated by those who chose to have children. I don't need to explain it because those of us who don't have children will already understand.

'patronising' :rotfl:

There was atime l didn't want kids as l said in my post but l was never as sanctimonious as you about it.