long term relationship v marriage

Person_one

I'd want to be married in a 20 year relationship with children just because of the practical issues. Without wanting to sound too pessimistic, being married can make things much much easier if one of you is injured/ill/dies or if you decide to separate.

moggylover

ViolaLass wrote: »

What if you don't get any warning that the other is about to die e.g. they go under a bus?

If you're not inherently opposed to marriage and you know that inheritance tax will become relevant at some point (if your estates are over the limit) then why not just get married?

I have no issues on whether people get married or not although I do find it curious that someone who is not married and doesn't want to get married would refer to their partner as their husband. You don't want to get married but don't mind other people thinking you're married?

Good Lord! What a perfectly horrible reason for getting married:eek:

Personally, I don't think it has anything whatsoever to do with anyone but the people involved and anyone else can just .............but out (as the youngsters would say;))

Personally, having done it once I consider it an institution I have no desire to inhabit again:D Also since divorce is much easier but even more costly than all the fuss and frills of a wedding I see it as a pointlessly outdated form of partnership that is often entered into for all the most wrong reasons imaginable.

Op, take no notice of other people, just go on being happy (they probably aren't;)) and show them the hand (or the finger - whichever lights your fire) when they are rude enough to comment in future:D

moggylover

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

As you say, it depends entirely on how you view marriage. I believe marriage is for life, as does my husband. No-one in either of our wider families has ever got divorced (most of them have been married 20 plus years) so it would really be a massive thing for everyone if it ever happened.

Also, given we're religious, we couldn't ever get married again if we divorced anyway!

Ah, well they hadn't in my family either: but I always like to buck the trend:D

moggylover

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I am somewhat confused as to how you have a husband and are also in a relationship with someone else? Does your husband know that you are having an affair and what are his feelings about this?

Talk about nosey:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

ViolaLass

moggylover wrote: »

Good Lord! What a perfectly horrible reason for getting married:eek:

I agree it's not the most romantic of reasons but my comment was specifically in response to someone saying that they didn't particularly want to get married but would do so if they or their partner was terminally ill for inheritance tax reasons.

moggylover

Tropez wrote: »

No, absolutely, you're right. I'm not going to say that I'm wrong, because I know what I was told and in all honesty due to the fact that I was told this in a private, friendly discussion, in a coffee shop in one of the midwest states of the US I cannot, at least not with any degree of ease, provide evidence to backup what I said.

I will, however, apologise for the way in which I relayed that to you. I was overtly blunt and I should have just said where I was told this to begin with. It is no excuse, I shall admit, as this does not pertain to you but I am having a rather difficult day due to the ineptitude of a client failing to maintain his records and a colleague who has decided to pull a sickie and so while I do not credit myself with any great degree of tact, I will acknowledge that I let my frustrations at the real world more than affect the way in which I responded to you, and several others. I did not decide to be rude but having read back what I did say I can quite easily understand why you considered it to be such.

I, of course, expect no forgiveness but I do apologise to you sincerely, and as it is Monday, wish you all the best for the week ahead.

I'll back at least part of it up. The word husband does indeed derive from the Norse and seems to have originally have had more to do with land-owning and being Master of a household than an actual spouse. (Hence the term "husbandry" for the care of animals)

Link for those that need it:

http://www.answers.com/topic/husband

and the second link shows that it has a distinct similarity to an old Swedish word that has more to do with Master than husband: I just knew I didn't like the thought of having a husband:D

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Phrases-and-Sayings/Word-Origins/Question651258.html

fluffysox

moggylover wrote: »

I'll back at least part of it up. The word husband does indeed derive from the Norse and seems to have originally have had more to do with land-owning and being Master of a household than an actual spouse. (Hence the term "husbandry" for the care of animals)

Link for those that need it:

http://www.answers.com/topic/husband

and the second link shows that it has a distinct similarity to an old Swedish word that has more to do with Master than husband: I just knew I didn't like the thought of having a husband:D

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Phrases-and-Sayings/Word-Origins/Question651258.html

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:made me chuckle!