startagain, Starts Again....... Again

startagain_2

Morning all,

You all kept posting after I signed off .... I have been reading all the posts.
Please, please let the ring be found in the depths of the washing machine.
Please, please someone give sw some cake, she sounds desperate.
Please, please give Wordsmith a break and see her fortunes improve dramatically this year.
Please, please give copperjar the right outcome to the dilemma facing them - whether it be the old job, new job or something different.
And for me...... closure I have realised that each time I make a bold decision to cut off ALL contact with the people abroad it never works and I give in after a while. I so know that it is the best thing to do - stay away - that I am going to treat it like a recovering addict. ONE DAY AT A TIME. I am not going to ring or answer calls, it there are any, today, MONDAY, and I will repeat this each day until it is 1 week, 1 month, 1 year. By then I will have moved on and found other things to occupy my time, thoughts and bank balance
I feel a bit daft at my age to be going through this but I am quite an emotional person anyway. A rescuer. My pets have all been rehomes and my men seem to have followed suit - someone elses reject with baggage to fit.
I am off to the dentist in a few minutes but will be back later. The sun is just coming out which is a nice change from the constant rain yesterday.
Valentines Day - bah, humbug

SA

startagain_2

Back from the dentist. It took 5 minutes and £16.50 to tell me that all is well. I wish I could clean up the other areas of my life as easily...
Anyway, bought some cheap hair colour to try and sort my locks out before my meeting tomorrow and interview on Weds. I really need a hair cut but that can wait for a week or two. I will just have to fold and tuck bits in until then.
Beuatiful morning and some of the shrubs in my garden are really budding now. My garden was so pretty last summer, I can't wait for it to take off this year. The path needs a good scrub, it is one of those multishaded ones. I will put that on the To Do list.
I have got a grand total of £2.50 to last me until Wednesday but there is plenty of food in - human and canine, petrol in the car, and all bills paid. What a twit i am - sending out money I haven't got and look where it has got me
I actually borrowed some books from the library on Friday, the first time in ages. I have been catching up on my unread books indoors but I decided to pop in and have a look. It has gone very high tech and seems to have replaced humans with machines - I got a bit confused and needed rescuing! I did get another book by Douglas Kennedy, my current fave, and a book about a couple divorcing and fighting over what happens to their dog. Talk about tugging at the heartstrings. Half way through it already, I have to find out "Who gets Fluffy?" .....:)

Points for discussion

Kerry Katona still in Skating on Ice - she still can't skate!
The poor mum and kids killed by the abusive husband - dreadful.
Jordan - can she possibly look any cheaper than she does now? :mad:
Aren't supermarket basics wonderful? Chocolate whip pud for 9p, tin of custard 23p, eggs 85p for 6 ... it is so good to be able to eat cheaply but still have some goodies.

One nasty appt out of the way, better start writing notes for my psychology appt this afternoon. Should be interesting.

Hugs everyone

SA

savingwannabe

Am at work. I couldn't resist. I do love you, you are wonderful SA!!!!!

startagain_2

Back from a long dog walk to find 2 missed calls from YOU KNOW WHO.... :eek: Surprise, surprise.

Too busy making a beef casserole and thinking about what I am going to say to my shrink in a couple of hours time to worry about him.

Hugs everyone and thanks sw, don't work too hard..

SA

LittleBoots

Hiya

Just been flicking through your diary and can very much relate to the man stuff. There is probably loads of great advice I could give you but will it make any difference? I know it doesnt to me! Its only really in the last few days that I've felt able to start 'letting go' of my ex and that just took time. Have a hug, hopefully soon I will have some real advice to pass on

startagain_2

LittleBoots wrote: »

Hiya

Just been flicking through your diary and can very much relate to the man stuff. There is probably loads of great advice I could give you but will it make any difference? I know it doesnt to me! Its only really in the last few days that I've felt able to start 'letting go' of my ex and that just took time. Have a hug, hopefully soon I will have some real advice to pass on

What a coincidence - I was reading your diary too at the weekend and thought you were a person after my own heart. Welcome and ALL thoughts are appreciated, believe me. And you know what they say.... Throw enough s**t at the wall and eventually some of it will stick, well that is what I want with my "doh" brain. If I keep hearing what an egit I am, then maybe, just maybe I will wise up and do something about it....

I feel quite resolved at the moment and am trying to push all thoughts of him out of my mind.

Had a good chat with my psychologist and he has given me some good tips re the work situation. Got a lovely tea to look forward to - beef casserole and bananas and custard (one after the other and not together) What with colouring my hair and watching Glee - no time for a man, I keep telling myself

Hey Ho

SA

LittleBoots

Throw enough s**t at the wall and eventually some of it will stick

You know I dont think I've heard that before!!! But I like it . I feel like I have a split personality sometimes. The sensible bit which knows I need to focus on myself, move on, smile etc etc and the over-emotional bit which ignores EVERYTHING I tell it!

I'm glad you are feeling better, I am too and just hope it lasts :A. Find myself actually looking forward to things now rather than seeing them as another thing I cant share with him.

Hey ho, heres to good times :j:j:j

ps. Sorry if my post comes across negative, I'm working on it:rotfl:

startagain_2

At least mine is 4000 miles away - I can't jump in the car and stalk him in moments of weakness! I have actually texted him this afternoon saying that I never want to see or speak to him again. I have deleted all the numbers and turned the phone off and that is the way it is going to stay until I am strong enough to leave it on all the time. People have got my landline number if they want to get hold of me. I don't think it will take too long to get over it this time. It has been dragging on for years and each time there is an upset it is easier for me to walk away. This time it is going to stay that way. You have done so well, if I had one I would take my hat off to you.
Hugs
SA

katali_d

Well done SA, that was a really strong thing to do. I hope your casserole is/was delicious, you've made me hungry reading about it! And SW, I really hope you've had some cake now :-)

LittleBoots

Well done SA, very brave. It's funny, everyone kept saying to me to stop all contact but I couldnt even though I knew it was for the best. I just wasnt ready to have him out of my life, even if it was just the odd text here and there I liked knowing I could still contact him. I think now I am more ready to stop the contact, it doesnt feel like such a terrible thing anymore. I still hope we can be real friends one day but only time will tell.

Anyway enough of that, I've just had my dinner as your beef casserole made me hungry. And I'm a veggie!!