startagain, Starts Again....... Again

savingwannabe

Oooooh girlies, did i hear the word casserole???? just got in. Yum. Well done SA on being so firm and hello all new posters. SA attracts lovely friends.

Aesop

startagain wrote: »

At least mine is 4000 miles away - I can't jump in the car and stalk him in moments of weakness! I have actually texted him this afternoon saying that I never want to see or speak to him again. I have deleted all the numbers and turned the phone off and that is the way it is going to stay until I am strong enough to leave it on all the time.

:T:T:T :beer::j

well done! you have taken the first hardest step. Let's hope tomorrow we hear how strong your resolve really is.

And good luck wed.

beanielou

WEll done you

startagain_2

:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o


I rang his number last night, but he didn't pick up - thank heavens.

Sorry everyone - like littleboots said, it is so very much easier said than done. I think I was just angry that he hadn't tried to fight back, I was trying to get a reaction. Anyway............

Phase 2 - as of today I am going to now lock my phone away in the car at night. I know this sounds plain daft, but once I have got my pjs on (about 6.30pm!) I will not go outside for anything. A physical barrier, rather than mental, which doesn't seem to work.

Keep nagging me, please.

Off to my meeting with the HA today - it is a 80 mile round trip but I don't mind. My hair looks atrocious though. The colour is OK but it has done strange things to the condition. I think a beanie hat is the order of the day but hardly for an interview which is where I am heading tomorrow.
:eek: <- This is what my hair actually looks like today.....

The casserole was yummy and there is enough for two more dinners. I did a potato topping and it was a real meal in one.

Still waiting for cheque from musicmagpie, payment from the survey site, compo for the failed HA appt, it all adds up but it takes AGES to get paid. At least my JSA hits the bank tomorrow. Money!!!

My AA membership runs out on 1st March and they haven't contacted me about renewal yet. I have decided to let it lapse until I need to make a long journey and then I will join as a new member taking advantage of any offers going. It seems silly paying for the service when all I am doing is poodling around my local area where the guy who works on my car can easily rescue me if needed.

I hope everyone is well and I really appreciate all your input, believe me. A huge HELLO to my new friends - please stick around.

Hugs

SA

Wordsmith

Well done to start with SA, very bad on phoning him , well done on taking more extreme measures not to.

Maybe you should think about carrying on with your singles events? You may not (or may) find a new man through this, but it will give you less time to dwell on what you haven't got. Does everything at that club cost a lot to do?

How about finding another club - or, better still, starting your own? You could meet up for coffee, or go for walks, or to the cinema - things that you might find other people would be glad of company doing but that don't cost loads. Doing the organising yourself will keep you busy and help prevent you from ringing your friend.

And when you do start planning your next holiday, don't go back to that place. Go somewhere new (with your new singles club friends ).

When I got divorced, it was four years before I could even bear to think about going out with anyone. Four years! It was such a wasted time. We have a short enough time in any case - don't let it pass you by pining for what is not good for you.

Good luck for your meeting today.

savingwannabe

Wow start your own club for people who want to meet up and have fun and get to know the area. Wordsmith what a fab idea!

Maybe everyday you dont ring him you could put some money in a box and at the end of the week you can treat yourself? You know i would just spend it on cake! Remember you are worth much more and deserve the best.

You still sound really positive, bad hair day? dont worry, men lose their hair we are so lucky. Have a good day. i have the day off and i am going to work a bit but relax too.

LittleBoots

The past few days whenever I've had the urge to txt the ex I've told myself to wait half an hour, sometimes by then the feeling has gone. Sometimes its torture especially as I know he'd never contact me off his own back so its up to me if I'm going to hear from him. I havent contacted him for a few days now, cant say it makes things easier but I feel good for leaving him alone.

katali_d

Hi LittleBoots, that's a really good strategy, kind of like people use for impulse shopping! It will make things easier eventually, you just have to push through the hard bit first. The fact that he wouldn't contact you should show you that you're way better off without him! I hope you manage to keep it up!
SA, keeping the phone out of reach at times when you might waver is a great plan. I found if I was drinking then I would forget my determination not to contact. Hope it's going well today.

savingwannabe

SA my dad rings me 15 times a day and he is making me ill at the moment as I am tired. i have just disconnected my phone too. You are not alone ok.

Stay strong.

startagain_2

Wednesday already .....:D

Hi Guys,

It has been a busy 3 days - yesterday I went to a long meeting with a focus group at my HA which was quite positive, but the journey was quite tiring. I have a choice of routes, one is more direct but through towns and can get snarled up and the other is motorways but it is 10 miles longer each way. I went the direct way there and the motorway back. I am out of practice with driving long journeys and felt really tired.
I watched the Brits and then the Gypsys - both good and slept very well last night.
Got an ex-text... still thinking that one over. I do want to have him as a friend, I have decided, but not as a partner/responsibility/liability.

Anyway..... I had my interview this morning for a part time job 5 minutes from where I live. It seemed to go OK and they said they will be in touch this afternoon. Now this is going to sound awful, but... I don't know if I want it Doing the sums, it just doesn't make a lot of sense. £ for £ I lose my HB and CT benefit, which I understand, I would like to work but..... they pay monthly and I wouldn't get paid for 5 WEEKS :eek: So I would be losing my forthnightly JSA and scraping by for all that time and then playing catch up again. The first payday comes after the direct debits are due (they pay on the 7th of the month).
The quickest way to get a person into debt. I know about crisis loans and all that but it is just the transition from benefits to earnings. It just doesn't seem to make sense. Another negative is that it is on Monday and Tuesday and they are the only days that my psychologist works so I would have to stop seeing him as well, after 2 1/2 years....
I am not going to worry as I may not even have to think about it if they don't offer it to me. Problem solved for now.

I have been out in the garden for an hour or so in the sunshine - lovely I have cut the hedge back, repotted an ailing conifer, scrubbed the path and swept up the last of the fallen leaves. It all looks lovely. MrT (my dog) supervised throughout and is now snoring in his bed. Job done. He will soon wake up when it is walk time at about 3.30pm.

I have booked a haircut for next week. I have longish curly hair that has got so thick that it is like wearing a woolly hat all the time. Lovely when it is cold but a trifle warm indoors or when the sun is out. Time for a change and a shorter style.

Thanks for all your comments regarding the ex, I am taking them on board, believe me.
littleboots - your tip for waiting half an hour and hoping the urge wears off is one that my psychologist gave me. It is a way of letting the feeling go away of its own accord and works especially if you find something else to occupy yourself, as well.

I hope everyone is well and enjoying the sunshine if you have any. If not, sorry..

Hugs

SA