Hubby hit me

Percy1983

It is true that anybody is capable of doing such a thing in a moment of seeing red, to which there can be a massive level of remorse and guilt to which it wouldn't happen again, and there is the bullies who do these things and it isn't just a crazy moment but a way of thinking.

In respect to this case if she feels scared she should get out, no 2 ways about that, but to say a relationship is over and he will do it again isn't for us to decide.

I am not supporting this kind of behaviour in anyway but I do believe it is always worth looking at a relationship with children and seeing if the trust can be repaired, in many cases it can't but we shouldn't all be so quick to say she shouldn't try.

Gene_Hunt_2

jamespir wrote: »

i think a lot of you are so quick to judge we dont know what led up to her being hit (not that im condoning domestic violence i myself have been a victim of domestic violence and its a horrible thing for people to go through ) we dont know if she hit him first we dont know if this is a one off


so how you can side with someonoe when you dont know the full story beats me

What beaten up by the missus?

shellsuit

jamespir wrote: »

i think a lot of you are so quick to judge we dont know what led up to her being hit (not that im condoning domestic violence i myself have been a victim of domestic violence and its a horrible thing for people to go through ) we dont know if she hit him first we dont know if this is a one off


so how you can side with someonoe when you dont know the full story beats me

Why are you so quick to jump in without reading the whole thread James?

hey,thank you everyone for your advice,kids all in bed,and iam in bed myself,husband is down stairs,im just sitting here trying to get my head straight
husband has been mentally abusing me for weeks,saying im a bad mum,kids hate me...etc and just putting me down
he knows i have no one to turn too,and iam sure this is why he thinks he can get away with it
this morning was out of the blue,and he was"nt even out of bed when he hit me,hes been staying up all most all of the night playing hes comp,then he wont get up in the morning,he does work but only part time
im sitting here,my heads a mess and i dont no what to do for the best

Tish_P

Firstly, there is nothing, nothing that I could do that would result in my chap hitting me twice in the face and making me bleed. Most men are good men who would never dream of hitting their loved ones.

Secondly, it's not a case of "quick to judge" so much as "quick to tell the OP to get herself and her kids to safety". Look at the links above. Women die in the OP's situation. Two of them a week in Britain, in fact. As for the point that maybe perhaps possibly, with time, help and therapy, the relationship can be mended, the chance of this is very, very small indeed. And even if saving the relationship were the first priority here (and I'd argue it isn't), a necessary first step for any progress is that the OP feels safe and supported, which in the situation she describes means getting away from the man who hit her in the face and made her bleed.

ska_lover

jamespir wrote: »

i think a lot of you are so quick to judge we dont know what led up to her being hit (not that im condoning domestic violence i myself have been a victim of domestic violence and its a horrible thing for people to go through ) we dont know if she hit him first we dont know if this is a one off


so how you can side with someonoe when you dont know the full story beats me

Shut up James.

jamespir

ska_lover wrote: »

Shut up James.

why because im right ive been a victim of domestic abuse ther is two sides to every story here were only getting one

shellsuit

jamespir wrote: »

why because im right ive been a victim of domestic abuse ther is two sides to every story here were only getting one

We're only getting one side of your story too then aren't we?

jamespir

shellsuit wrote: »

Why are you so quick to jump in without reading the whole thread James?

i didnt but either way it seems someone post something bad about their hubby and theres a whole group of you waiting with thier pitch forks

Britwife

James, I really feel in my heart that she wouldn't have gone through the trouble of changing her user id and you can clearly read in her responses that she is afraid. I agree that there are 2 sides to every story but she was reaching out, you can feel the pain in her heart.

I'm sorry to any of you that have suffered dv, male or female, it should never happen and my heart goes out to you all.

rozmister

jamespir wrote: »

i didnt but either way it seems someone post something bad about their hubby and theres a whole group of you waiting with thier pitch forks

Something bad for your hubby to do is not load the dishwasher, forget to pick the kids up from school, put diesel in a petrol car, lose his wedding ring. Smacking your wife in the face for no reason causing her to bleed early in the morning is not something bad. It's disgusting and, rightly so, has caused indignation amongst a lot of posters on here.

jamespir wrote: »

why because im right ive been a victim of domestic abuse ther is two sides to every story here were only getting one

Get in the queue, so was I and so were a large proportion of the people commenting on here. It's terrible that DV happened to you but the fact that you were a victim doesn't suddenly give you precedence over all the other people on here, some of whom like you were victims, and make you automatically right.

There may be two sides to every story but bringing up children in a house where violence happens is ALWAYS unacceptable. The same way that proving a point through violence is ALWAYS unacceptable.

I for one believe that the moment a man/woman raises his/her hand or behaves in an abusive manner to a woman/man the story becomes completely irrelevant. I don't give two tosses what happened beforehand you don't ever use violence, intimidation or abusive behaviour in any situation.