MSE Parents Club Part 16

sir_monster

Hi MV ((hugs)) I know it really is a cliche but it does get better, I never had a major prob with bfing apart from the frequency which was every 2 hours even at night until he was about 3 months old!! We did do an odd bottle of formula to give me and my breasts a break, perhaps your DH can give one at about 10 when your supply is at its lowest or you can feed a bit then give a top up so you can get some rest?? Looking back at my posts it was hard work for the first three months, but then he started dropping one night feed, then another then around 4 months went to one feed a night then recently he is more likely to sleep through till 6/7 or even 8 after going to bed about 8 till 9 (but sometimes will wake up earlier but they are human so can do diff things!)

MadDogWoman_2

MV - hugs, DD was 12 weeks old before I started feeling anywhere near human again don't push yourself, if you're finding BF hard work get some good support.

I know they say breast is best but if mummy isn't happy it isn't worth it.

SugarSpun

I think Miss M was about a month old before I started feeling a bit like myself, up till then it was all a bit of an unreal fuzzy haze. And even up till three months it was tough going but at three months Husband went into hospital and so it all got extremely regimented from necessity and I wouldn't recommend that to anyone

Hugs MV, it's tough going when you have a new littlie. I found that she learned things just in time to save my sanity - she smiled at me for the first time when I was right at the edge of crying over her on the changing table and from that point it all started getting a bit easier. I hope it's the same for you xxx

Just watched Black Swan, it's a bit intensive on the head but was excellent.

tiamai_d

MV,

It's not just with first babies that you feel out of your depth btw. I felt like that with all 3! The only good thing is that next time you do know that it gets better, which doesn't really help anyway...

But it does. The first day on your own you will be lost, but you will get through it. It is very much taking it a day at a time. Doing what is best for you and baby, whatever that may be. How are you feeling about the birth? A traumatic birth can make things a lot harder so don't let that build up.

kindofagilr

sir_monster wrote: »

Lillian that sounds I good from the few groups I've been to I prefer the less formal ones, where you can have a chat and a cuppa with the other mums (plus a moan!), the one I go to we have even arranged a night out tomorrow. I don't know about the more formal ones felt a bit left out as all the other mums were doing all the signing and I didn't have a clue!!

Thanks for routines, at the mo he tends to go to bed at about 08:30/9 after starting bath then feed and usually sleeps through till 7 (although was up at 5 briefly this morn) but after that I have no clue!! He does want a morning nap we sometimes achieve it, plus a lunchtime nap (again we do try but don't always suceeds) and maybe a late afternoon nap. Like you KK I'm not sure where to put t down as we have a rocking chair in living room that sometimes works but then I feel I'm creeping around scared to wake him. I think part of the prob is that he doesn't always feed at once as gets distracted so I feel like I'm always topping him up but then this runs into nap time so I never know if he's tired or hungry or just using bfing to get to sleep!

Best thing I ever did was start putting elliot to nap in his cot, I used to let him fall asleep in the swing or bouncer, but I was creeping around the place and couldnt get anything done

Now he naps in his cot I can get on with stuff while he is asleep upstairs

MadDogWoman_2

When DD was a baby she slept downstairs in her pram from coming home, I never crept round afraid to wake her up, the only thing I did avoid doing was hoovering, but TV was on or I was clattering about in the kitchen.

There were days she didn't want to nap but I just put her in her pram for some quiet time anyway.

We only started to put her upstairs to sleep once she was over one and was refusing to sleep downstairs as there was too much other stuff to be doing.

She outgrown daily naps in the afternoon now, unless she's done something really active like swimming or a long walk but it just a quick 30 minutes and she's back on her feet.

kindofagilr

tiamai_d wrote: »

Usually it doesget better. The good news is that since your lo is just 2 weeks (is that right?) then its probably just the babyblues and not anything worse. Forget about a routine just now. The first few weeks are hard, everything is new and there is a bit of unreality to it. Just try and concentrate on sleeping and cuddling your baby. If you still feel bad in a few days speak to your HV.

I usually ended up running myself a bath and just crying it all out. It's like a dam that has to burst at some point and then you do usually feel better.

I'm sure someone better at explaining themselves will answer soon.

I totally agree with that, I would find myself bursting into tears in the bath

It does get beter and easier hugs Metranil Vavin

kindofagilr

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

Thanks tiamai. Yes Josh is only 16 days old, so I know it is very early days.

I think the thought of OH going back to work and having to cope on my own is just really scaring me. I have been relying on him a lot these last 2 weeks, there is no way I could have coped without him.

I think because the birth was pretty traumatic too, and I never really had any time to recover, I've struggled too.

I find breast feeding difficult too, but am perservering with it for as long as I can as I know that it is best for baby.

Maybe it's just the adjustment from child free to having a baby that I am struggling with. Everything just feels a bit disorientating still. Like Sunday's used to feel like Sundays...does that make sense?? Now every day seems to meld into one!

Still Josh is glorious...just maybe not quite so glorious at 5am when we are both on our knees with exhaustion and he just will not stop crying!

You sound exactly like me (((hugs)))

I personally found it easier when OH went back to work cos I had to deal if that makes sense? I kinda got into my own routine???

Metranil_Vavin

Thanks everyone

It really does help to hear your stories. Josh is only 16 days old, bless him, and actually he is only waking about 2-3 times in the night, so probably isn't all that bad really.

I think tomorrow I will spend the day at home just getting used to being on my own with him. I have a midwife visit one day (can't remember which now!), and an NCT lunch on weds, so there are things happening.

My mum and dad also may come over one day, so I won't be alone all week.

And of course I can come on here and chat with you ladies which always helps

Thanks again xx

ethelsmum

MV - it does get better like the others have said. I had good and bad days for the first month, I would have complete breakdowns over the slightest thing and was forever bickering with OH. Suddenly, everything just fell in to place and normality resumed (and this was my 3rd baby lol).

I've always looked forward to OH going back to work - I like to get in to my own routine with lo. I always look forward to him coming home though so I can hand baby over for a short while. The first week or so were always chaos for me - the day would fly by in a whirl and I would feel like I'd achieved nothing.