MSE Parents Club Part 16

Metranil_Vavin

Hi gang - I just wondered if many of you have suffered from the BB's?

I can't quite explain how I'm feeling, except that nothing feels very familiar anymore. I know I'm tired (as all new mums are), but I am struggling a bit with getting into a routine.

When does the disorientation of having a new baby wear off, and familiarity begin to come back again?

Sorry if I'm rambling and not making much sense. I think it's partly to do with OH going back to work tomorrow and the fear I have of being on my own here. There are people I can go and see etc, but I'm just feeling scared and teary.

tiamai_d

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

Hi gang - I just wondered if many of you have suffered from the BB's?

I can't quite explain how I'm feeling, except that nothing feels very familiar anymore. I know I'm tired (as all new mums are), but I am struggling a bit with getting into a routine.

When does the disorientation of having a new baby wear off, and familiarity begin to come back again?

Sorry if I'm rambling and not making much sense. I think it's partly to do with OH going back to work tomorrow and the fear I have of being on my own here. There are people I can go and see etc, but I'm just feeling scared and teary.

Usually it doesget better. The good news is that since your lo is just 2 weeks (is that right?) then its probably just the babyblues and not anything worse. Forget about a routine just now. The first few weeks are hard, everything is new and there is a bit of unreality to it. Just try and concentrate on sleeping and cuddling your baby. If you still feel bad in a few days speak to your HV.

I usually ended up running myself a bath and just crying it all out. It's like a dam that has to burst at some point and then you do usually feel better.

I'm sure someone better at explaining themselves will answer soon.

Metranil_Vavin

Thanks tiamai. Yes Josh is only 16 days old, so I know it is very early days.

I think the thought of OH going back to work and having to cope on my own is just really scaring me. I have been relying on him a lot these last 2 weeks, there is no way I could have coped without him.

I think because the birth was pretty traumatic too, and I never really had any time to recover, I've struggled too.

I find breast feeding difficult too, but am perservering with it for as long as I can as I know that it is best for baby.

Maybe it's just the adjustment from child free to having a baby that I am struggling with. Everything just feels a bit disorientating still. Like Sunday's used to feel like Sundays...does that make sense?? Now every day seems to meld into one!

Still Josh is glorious...just maybe not quite so glorious at 5am when we are both on our knees with exhaustion and he just will not stop crying!

BargainPrincess

Hi MV,

I can understand how you are feeling and I think that the main problem is the build-up of lack of sleep. Last night Oliver wouldn't settle at all and just wanted to feed so much. Luckily I had a lie-in this morning whilst my OH sorted things out. We just both seem to be on the go 24-7 - the joys of a newborn hey!!

And I am finding breastfeeding difficult. It is painful and so demanding on the Mum. If it was so natural and easy why would they have all these suppport groups and counsellors on hand! It makes me laugh as on the breastfeeding DVD they have these perfect babies who quietly latch on and suckle gently. I think they must use robot babies as it is all so calm. Oliver just goes crazy and his hands are everywhere and mouth goes crazy. Then sometimes he snoozes part way whilst still on me and suddenly wakes-up and yanks at my nipple - ouch!!

Also Mums, Olly looks like he has little red rash on his chest. He doesn't seem to distressed or listless and we will check with the midwife tomorrow but just wondered if anyone had any advice??

Somnium

MV - cant remember how long BBs lasted but know it was several weeks, the fact that I cant remember I think is a good thing though. Also all your hormones running wild and BF'ing dont help. I had issues with BF'ing at the start, but your both learning and it will get better, so have some huggles and know that your not in any way odd x

Becles

I think it's natural to be nervous but give it a couple of days and you'll have settled into your own little routine. I'm sure you'll manage just fine :cool:

I think we all a bit down at times due to hormones, lack of rest and being busy all the time. I'm a bit down this morning as James is playing up again, and all the boot camp lasses went out last night and have been talking about it on FB this morning. I would have liked to have gone, but I couldn't afford to go

Parents are coming round this afternoon. Mam said she's going to have a word with James and see if she can get to the bottom of why he's being so naughty at the moment.

MERFE

MV remember your hormones are only just getting back to normal too and I think mine are still a bit wobbly now. Just had my first period since having the little man and my hair is now falling out like crazy which I think are both signs of my hormones getting back to normal. Also I still have no routine and am only trying now with him because he is coming up to 3 months. Even though it is number 3 I was petrified of my hubby going back to work, he was such a great help when he was off, honestly I have just muddled through but I think that is just what it is like so do not be too hard on yourself or try to do too much for the time being.

Well I woke up this morning to a house almost covered in talcum powder grrr. So the big ones have been playing in their own bedrooms today not together, we just had lunch together then got them to do all their homework, sent them outside to play for an hour now they are back in their rooms. They have done something every morning this week they are not supposed to but I can not phyiscally get up at 5am with DS, normally he comes in to me asks if he can have an apple and either plays quietly in his room or watches telly downstairs its when the young lady is up as well that the problems start. Will take them and Bobs out for a long walk this afternoon when OH has gone to work and hopefully wear them out so they sleep in. Bobs managed a feed at 10:30 when I went to bed and stirred at 3am so I fed him then got up at 7, fingers crossed tonights the same.

tinkwings

MV - Sending Hugs I am still having BB now 9 weeks later.

In my head I just say it's one day at a time and tomorrow will be different.

I struggled lots with loosing ME if that makes sense....I have just become Lily's mum and stopped being me and now I just function for her

One day at a time honey.

Parcel going tomorrow

Metranil_Vavin

Thanks guys. It does really help to hear others are going through the same and others have come through the other side

Tinks xx

delain

It does get better honest I had full on PND with DD1 and we're all fine now. Well she can be a total cow sometimes, but she's 8 and according to the other mums at the school that's standard procedure for 8 year olds :rotfl:

We had a massive roast dinner and now you wouldn't know my kitchen was there it's buried under so much carp!

Squeak has been asleep for ages now so probably be up late. grrr.

My nan bless her has taken the older girls out for the day. OH has gone out to see his friend so it's just me and snoozy Squeak

I'm going to watch Neverwhere now. Anyone remember it?

I hope everyone feels ok, there's a lot of propaganda about breastfeeding and pressure to carry on.

Personally (and this is only my bf experience so please don't shoot me!) I found that the pressure to bf DD1 undermined anything positive about it for me, her dad was dead set on it, she fed all the time, it hurt like hell and I couldn't even go out for an hour on my own and felt like I had lost myself. I feel it was big contributing factor to my PND.

In the end she lost so much weight that the HV insisted she be bottle fed after 3 weeks because my milk had gone, and it was such a big relief for me. I don't feel that after the first time I held her (which was wonderful) I could bond with her at all until she was FF because all I could associate with her up to that point was stress and pain.

I was only 17 mind so I know my head was all over the place anyway.

My point, I suppose is that BF is all well and good, (and I have huge respect for people that can do it - yoou're all amazing) but if it is damaging your mental heath (as it was mine) do not feel bad about stopping. Your baby needs a sane mum more than they need antibodies, bf is for 6 months/however long, your mental health is for life!