MSE Parents Club Part 16

Clarieloo

Congrats Pigpen and Puzzled! PP - just seen the photo on the pregnancy forum - she's gorgeous.xx

Make-it-3

Congrats Pigpen, just hopped over to the pregnancy thread to have a peak at the newest addition.

Thanks for all the input on changing mats, will just have to get a new one and hope it lasts a bit longer this time round.

Have a cold today and massively tired - LO was up from 12.15 to 4.45 - nothing wrong, just wide awake and resisting any further sleep - its happening more regularly - don't know how to break the pattern.

elainec

ooh cute pics pigpen and puzzled, saw both the pics on pregnancy forum, both very cute.
Shouldn't have done it though cos i'm now getting broody again, i want another baby!!!

wendz86

Congratulations PP she is gorgeous.

Having a 2nd look at the nursery we like best for Poppy this afternoon. What should i be asking/looking for?

delain

Hello all :hello:

Been a bit mental here and my laptop is best part broken so can't post much!

Hope everyone is all OK

PP and puzzled, beautiful babies

sparkle76

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to have a mini rant, hoping you guys can offer some advice because as a new parent I just want to sound this out, not having experience.

Hubby is great and we're both managing our 10 week old very well. Husband works and by the time he is home at 18:45, little one is fast asleep as he usually gets tired around 6 and has his feed. He then sleeps to around 10 or 11, sometimes later. If he wakes before 11ish hubby does his change, otherwise I do it so he can get his rest.

He then spends some time with him from 06:30 to 7am and does a change then, before heading to work.

When he gets in, I have most of dinner ready or it's a simple affair and he often serves up then we eat and watch tv, catch up and I head to bed at 20:30ish as am exhausted so we only really have 1.5 or 2 hours together but it's nice as we need to connect. He stays up until around 10 watching tv, checking e-mails, doing video editing etc.

On the weekends however is where I have the issue. I am breastfeeding and very tired too by the time the weekend comes along and just need a break. It would be nice if hubby took him out and did some things with him, or we all did something as a family where hubby still was mainly caring for LO unless he needs a feed of course.
However in some ways hubby still seems to view the weekend as time he needs for himself (he's been for drinks and pizza with friends, out filming, watching football etc), and although he does spend time with little one, yesterday it was only a total of around an hour all through the day, as he chose to go and watch football at 15:30. He was doing some things that were essential for us as a household too, but... Afternoon is time when LO is most active and playful so he has missed out for another week really. He often complains to others that he 'never sees' LO in the week so I would think on the weekend he'd be extra careful to make up for this, LO won't be 10 weeks old ever again sort of thing.

He does change nappies and play with him but will only do massages, dance or take him out if pressed to and seems to only want to do the easier things.

I was angry when he got back from the pub at 18:30 and did say I need more support, he said ok but in a way that made me think he does enough, but said he would.

Sorry it's long but am I being mean here and over-reacting?

Clarieloo

Sparkle no you're not overreacting...at the weekends I expect (and need) my DH to do more with LO - new parenting is relentless and I need a bit of a break at the weekends. I'm not sure how you go about it but I would say you need to explain that he has got to help out more. I would have thought he would want to spend more than 1.5 hours a day with your LO in a day anyway.

Good luckxx

sparkle76

Thanks Claireloo, he does do lots don't get me wrong, it's just the weekends really and he can't really see he's missing out as he thinks the time he spends with him is enough... I guess as LO gets older it will only get harder so hopefully hubby will start to see the weekend as either him and baby time, or all of family time, we will see...

wendz86

I think it is tricky for Dads as sometimes they don't really enjoy little one as muchc till they are a bit older. My OH was great during his paternity leave but then went a bit downhill. He has got a lot better again though as she has got older and likes spending time with her. We haven't had much time to spend as a family recently as he works shifts and has had hardly any days off but he is quite good and we do stuff together when he has time off. He does go off and do his own thing occassionally as well but i don't really mind as he has had to work so much.

I am sure as LO gets older and more interesting to him he will want to spend more time together.

Becles

Sparkle - could you suggest you have some time to do things by yourself on a weekend, like go and get your hair done or shopping/coffee etc., with friends, or go to an exercise class or something! That way you get some time out and he gets some time with the little one.