MSE Parents Club Part 16

elainec

Hi Lillian, sorry to hear about bad birth.
Your breastfeeding problems sounds the same as what i had at start. I too had a forceps birth with my wee boy and lost a lot of blood, though not a bad birth apart from that. However due to that my milk took a few days to come in so had to give a couple of bottles of formula at 3 days old as he had lost a bit of weight and midwife was concerned. I just kept on with breastfeeding and it got better esp when milk came in.
He breastfed fine after that (so i dont believe that nipple confusion story!) just stopping now at 21 weeks as due to go back to work soon. Perservere if you really want to breastfeed otherwise go onto formula whatever makes you happy is best for baby.

Cant really suggest much for sleeping apart from singing to baby sometimes helps or something that plays a lullaby! oh, also try tucking blanket down side of mattress so baby tight against mattress, stops them moving about so much.

elainec

sleep training going better now, cried once for past couple of nights but we didnt get up and he nodded off again and i have stopped feeding him during night though waking him up about 10pm for last bottle. Cant believe how much better you can feel with that bit more sleep!

SugarSpun

Hi Lilian. I'm so sorry to hear that the birth was difficult for you and that you're having problems breastfeeding.

The best way to get boobs producing milk is to put a baby on them. What a lot of people have had success with is just spending a day or two in bed with the baby, latching him on as often as is practical and napping together when he doesn't need/want to eat. At three days it's ok that you just have colostrum, remember that the colostrum is so nutrient-packed and dense that he'll only need a tiny bit - which is good, because he only has a tiny tummy

He may be fussing and crying because he finds the smell and warmth of you and your OH comforting - try putting a top you've worn into his Moses basket and see if that helps, or gently warm the sheets with a hot water bottle before taking the bottle out and popping the baby in.

And remember that you've just done a really difficult thing and even being able to worry about things is an achievement when you have a teeny newborn. You're doing great, and if your hormones are messing with you over the next few days, that's just what they'll do. Keep an eye on your feelings and if it starts getting overwhelming there's help available for you. And in the meantime, have a big :grouphug: and congratulations xxx

lilian1977

Thanks Elaine. I'm going to give him a bottle tonight when he wakes up - sleeping like a little angel on his side at the moment.

Also, thanks SugarSpun - I'll try those tips.

sir_monster

Hi Lillian, congrats on your new baby.

Re latching on I know midwifes try their best but as they are so busy they probably can't give you the support you need, could I recommend going to a baby cafe http://www.thebabycafe.org/ (although my local one seem to be obsessed with diagnosing every baby with a tongue tie - but this could be why he isn't latching on?) or contacting numerous support groups - breast feeding network, think there is a link at front?

Also if you have to top up with formula it isn't the end of the world I was adamant before t came I wouldn't use formula but he was in the scbu for a week I had a section, I couldn't feed him all the time plus he needed more. 4 and a bit months on he is (mainly) bf as I kept trying to feed him, plus when not feeding I tried to express even if nothing much comes it is still stimulating the breasts.

Re moses basket t hated his so we moved him to the cot and slept better, maybe you could try putting him down in different places to see if he settles better??

With babies you can read a million books but it is just trial and error and you have to do what works for you - good luck!! Also please please sleep when baby sleeps as they may not sleep well at night for a while, t has only just started sleeping through at 4 months.

ethelsmum

Congratulations on your new baby Lilian. I can't offer any advice as I wasn't very good at breast feeding but we did bf, formula and expressed milk - I also used nipple shields occasionally, it worked for us.

DD hated her moses basket and her crib at first and wouldn't sleep in either. The first week was dreadful so I started co-sleeping with her. Eventually, she would go down in her moses basket/crib but when she woke for a feed I put her in bed with us as she wouldn't go back to sleep in her bed. She stopped waking for a night feed around 6-7 weeks and since then has been brilliant at sleeping in her crib all night. Once I woke in a panic thinking she'd slid out of my bed - but she was tucked up sleeping soundly in her crib.
I hope things improve for you.

Mel - I like the sound of your naming ceremony. That is the kind of thing I want - just a nice meal afterwards.

lilian1977

Thanks SM - there is a breastfeeding support group locally on Wednesday that a friend goes to - but I'm embarrassed in case I've completely given up by then I will still go though and share my pain!

Also, thanks EM - he will sleep in his nursing pillow on his back so I just think he doesn't like being flat. I've tried propping the moses basket up but to no avail. I am going to try a combination of side lying and co-sleeping tonight and hope for the best.

redmel1621

Hi lillian congratulations on your new baby:)

I can't help re breastfeeding as I formula fed all my kids, but there are plenty of people who should be able to advise.... But with the moses basket thing, all of mine hated it...i have also had 2 very clingy babies and two very relaxed babies, I found I had to sleep ds2 on his front, and dd on her side (they are the two clingy's) dd1 & 3 loved being flat on their backs arms stretched above their heads.

Sorry for the ramble I suppose I am just trying to illustrate how different all baby's are and you might need to try a few places/positions. BUT at only 3 days old i would be inclined to let him sleep on you a lot, esp through the day, they love being snuggled into to mummy, don't forget it is a strange big scary world out here and they feel insecure.

Mel x

Becles

Congrats lilian xx

It's early days yet. You might find he latches on better when the proper milk comes in. It seems to flow better I found it seemed easier for my babies to suck it out, if that makes sense!

When the milk does come in, your boobs might go rock solid and painful for about 24-48 hours. That's normal and they will ease as he feeds and then settle back to normal.

Have you tried putting him on a pillow and hugging the pillow rather than him? My eldest was very long and skinny and I found it difficult to hold him right, and it was much easier with a pillow.

I know it's a worry with side sleeping, but you've got to think about risks in all situations and make a balanced judgement. If you force him to sleep on his back and he won't settle, you end up tired and stressed and that is also a risk to him. Charlotte went through a phase of only sleeping on her tummy when she was a few months old, which is a big no-no according to guidelines, but I ended up giving in and letting her as it was the only way she would sleep.

Unfortunately babies are not aware of current guidelines and don't understand that they have to conform to whatever advice is being said at the time of the birth! They're little individuals who even at such a tiny age have their own wants and preferences.

Ironically when I was a baby, guidelines said babies should sleep on their tummies and I would only settle on my back, so my Mam went through the same feelings as I did!

I bet things will work themselves out over the next week or two and you'll get settled into a routine and wonder what all the fuss was about! Hang on in there and you'll get there.

Take care xx

My_Fathers_Daughter

Hi Lilian,

First of all congrats.

One of the best things that happened to me when Benjamin was teeny tiny was my friend texting me saying 'day 3 today MFD, baby blues will probably set in and the world will feel too big and too difficult'

I have been very careful to pass the message on to every friend I have who has given birth since.

Day 3 is notoriously difficult...for some of us it is day 2 or day 4 but whenever it arrives it hits us like a truck - BOOM!!!

Breastfeeding is tough, it takes a while to get used to but it is worth every second that you invest in it.

The second best thing to happen to me was also on day 3 - my lovely MW came, I cried because I couldn't cope, and she marched me upstairs, made me lie on the bed and taught me how to feed Benjamin laying down - this was a LIFESAVER!!! I seriously wouldn't have carried on without this - honestly, it is so relaxing for mum and baby that it makes nights infinitely easier.

Hang in there sweetheart, it is tough but we have all been there and managed to come out the other end and now we have walking talking little people...try to rest and relax as much as you can, stuff the housework, stuff the visitors, just focus on feeding baby and looking after you xxxx