MSE Parents Club Part 16

SusanC_2

Becles wrote: »

Then she was amazed as she managed to do a poo in the shape of a curly c, and wanted me to take a photo of it :rotfl: I declined!

:rotfl: Alice once did a "turtle poo" but she never asked for photos.

Make-it-3

Firstly let me apologise, I always seem to be on here asking questions rather than helping others. All I can say is hopefully in time I can help with advice on being a mum, but for now .....

Today I had the health visitor come round for the first time, and can I say I hate her. All she did was criticise the way we have been parenting/birthing decisions, contradict stuff I've been told my my midwife team and tell me things I should be doing that I disagree with. I know she has lots of experience but..... I wish I wasn't being discharged by my lovely MW team into her care.

Also, she has given me some Vit D drops to feed DD but reading the packaging they have artificial banana flavour in them. Would you feed your baby these? Is this really NHS advice?

tsstss7

Becles wrote: »

Nose running like a tap and have been sneezing all morning. Charlotte said "pack in sneezing Mam, it's doing my head in" :rotfl:

Then she was amazed as she managed to do a poo in the shape of a curly c, and wanted me to take a photo of it :rotfl: I declined!

lol :rotfl:

Make-it-3 wrote: »

Firstly let me apologise, I always seem to be on here asking questions rather than helping others. All I can say is hopefully in time I can help with advice on being a mum, but for now .....

Today I had the health visitor come round for the first time, and can I say I hate her. All she did was criticise the way we have been parenting/birthing decisions, contradict stuff I've been told my my midwife team and tell me things I should be doing that I disagree with. I know she has lots of experience but..... I wish I wasn't being discharged by my lovely MW team into her care.

Also, she has given me some Vit D drops to feed DD but reading the packaging they have artificial banana flavour in them. Would you feed your baby these? Is this really NHS advice?

MV I've had loads of conflicting advice from HV's in my day so they certainly don't know everything ...I don't really do artificial stuff like vit drops but I do know that there is some mad theory at the mo. that breast fed babies don't get enough! they add allsorts to formula so of course(suposedly) ff fed babies are better off.

Can't advise you on whether to use it or not though as 3 yrs ago we weren't prescribed them so have no idea of the rationale behind the new policy except praps the one above.

Make-it-3

tsstss7 - yes that was the HV's rationale exactly. The bottle of drops she left me is all NHS branded, I guess I should google and find out if its new NHS policy to push these. I just find it amazing that they would put artificial banana flavour in something meant for newborns.

I'm taking a multi-vit and trying to eat well, so not going to bother with these.

Becles

All of mine had the vit K drops. They say breast fed babies don't get enough of it and need a supplement. I never looked at the ingredients and just gave my babies them. They've had no ill effects.

Parenting isn't just about what the HV says. I know it's hard when they come round and say you are doing it wrong, but you need to grow a thick skin. Take info from all sources - HV, GP, your parents/relatives, websites, books, people like Gina Ford, SuperNanny etc., other mothers and so on. Evaluate it all and do whatever feels right for you and your little one.

You would't think twice about getting opinions on here and following one persons advice but ignoring someone else's because it didn't feel right. It's just the same with the HV - pick the bits that are useful to you and ignore the rest.

ladybirdintheuk

What beccles said. It is the smile and nod technique It helps if you can work out what is "medical advice" and what is personal opinion when it comes to HVs... I find the majority (but not all!) is the latter!

MERFE

ah make it 3 I feel for you, my midwife who had been fantastic throughout my pregnancy literally came round the day after I got out of hospital and told me everything we were doing was wrong etc. The temp in the house was too high despite me and bobby both shivering because it was so much colder than the hospital ward, if we give a dummy only at naptimes not to calm the baby crying (yeah right), no co-sleeping I only mentioned I might bring him in the bed after OH has gone to work if he didn't settle. I've not had to luckily but didn't need to be made to feel bad if I did. I was shocked after she was so lovely during my pregnancy. Luckily my HV is lovely and not pushy or anything, however the one at clinic implied I was force feeding the baby - as if.

Sleeping has improved and so has the afternoons, I give him an extra bottle at 5ish just a small one as he seemed hungry, then he has a big bottle after his bath. Last night he slept 6:30pm till 2 then fussed at 6am but went back to sleep and I woke him at 7am.

got-it-spend-it

Becles wrote: »

Parenting isn't just about what the HV says. I know it's hard when they come round and say you are doing it wrong, but you need to grow a thick skin. Take info from all sources - HV, GP, your parents/relatives, websites, books, people like Gina Ford, SuperNanny etc., other mothers and so on. Evaluate it all and do whatever feels right for you and your little one.

You would't think twice about getting opinions on here and following one persons advice but ignoring someone else's because it didn't feel right. It's just the same with the HV - pick the bits that are useful to you and ignore the rest.

This is awesome advice, very well said Becles. Parenthood is peppered with people who love to indulge themselves in nostalgia and give you 'definitive' advice based on their experience but everyone's experience and circumstances are different.

I also agree with Ladybird that a lot of HV's advice is opinion (albeit often opinion based on a lot of experience).

I have no experience of vitamin drops, although H was BF for a year.

MERFE

got-it-spend-it wrote: »

This is awesome advice, very well said Becles. Parenthood is peppered with people who love to indulge themselves in nostalgia and give you 'definitive' advice based on their experience but everyone's experience and circumstances are different.

I also agree with Ladybird that a lot of HV's advice is opinion (albeit often opinion based on a lot of experience).

I have no experience of vitamin drops, although H was BF for a year.

completely agree and would add that after 3 none have been the same, not all babies have the same needs, same basic needs maybe but not in the same ways, DD was a sleeper and tired and got grumpy easily, DS loved his cuddles and Bobs loves feeding or sucking or is genuinely really hungry (not quite figured it out yet).

I'd add alot of HV advice as well as experience is mixed in with government guidelines too, which are guidelines not rules and do not suit every baby. Two of mine have had to sleep on their tummys or they just will not sleep. Plus I don't know one person who completely FF their baby and makes up the bottles exactly how the government are now saying they must be done. There are all sorts of crazy things people are doing flying round, I just do them how I did for the other 2.

SusanC_2

I think the vitamin D thing is a relatively new thing. I noticed yesterday it is mentioned in the NICE Guidance on Antenatal Care particularly with reference to breastfeeding. I remember asking on here about vitamin D in around 2008 because I'd googled Little Stars (because people were talking about them and I didn't know what they were) and in the FAQ they had one about whether they were fortified with vitamin D. I thought it was rather random so asked on here if anyone was particularly worried about it and someone said there'd been stuff in the media about some children having rickets so I imagine that is why it has come in as a new thing. (That is all just my own supposition though.)