Mooloo's New Home, New Year and New Start part 3

peppa-pig

oh mooloo. not entirely a shock i imagine but still not easy to hear

my thoughts are with you all xxxx

Savvy_Sue

gizmo111 wrote: »

Maybe with DS wait until ( a long time I know) his mate has been sentenced and if he gets a custodial then it may shock him into sense also by then the little children should all be sorted and you will know how to organise your week better.

I think I agree with this, maybe stop or reduce the allowance but keep as much communication going as possible, in the hope that when his mate goes down he'll feel he can come back.

Stopping's not an easy thing to do, but if you haven't got the cash coming in then you can't pay it to him, can you? I'm not sure what it was meant to cover, but if he's not using it for the intended purposes, then it shouldn't be a surprise (but it will be, I know!)

It's certainly not an easy one to work out. Is there ANYONE who could talk to DS so that he might listen? Granddad, Grandma, Biggest? He has had a raw deal (not your fault, you know I'm not saying that, but I have said it before), but he has got to CHOOSE what he makes of that raw deal.

MatyMoo

Hugs Mooloo, as you say a bitter sweet day. I just cannot imagine how hard this is going to be for all of you

Molly41

Just to update....Mooloo is offline at the moment as her computer is playing silly games and not starting up. Hopefully she will be back soon as we are trying to get it fixed x

Savvy_sewing

Morning, I am back! Thanks to Molly's very clever husband!. yipee.
I was re united with it last evening, around 9.15. Bless him, he knew how much I used my laptop for, and when he had finished sorting it, he was straight round with it.
Alas BF and I are still only managing Text messages. So at the moment, he is feeling "hard done by" as he is just not able to see why I am making a stand, and me, I am still annoyed at him, and indignant at his actions. So its not looking good for us.
I know we have been here before, a few times. This is where, I usually soften, as I have missed him etc and I forgive him becuase I know that its not going to produce an appology from him. But my reslove to get him to actually talk to me about these problems is still hard and fast.
I am not prepared to argue via text messages anymore.
I am not prepared to let it go aside, and carry on as before, as I know he would do it again later on. After a few months he would stop trying and slip back into his old ways.
The problem to me, is that it is so hurtful, and I am already pretty low. I cannot take him htting below the belt when I am already feeling pretty defenceless.
I cannot fight the fight with him not supporting me.
So I am trying to keep my resolve. Not think of the longterm consequences of feeling lonely, and keep myself busy with my day.
At least I did not turn to a bottle of wine, and drown my sorrows, and make it worse. As I have done in the past. My medication really is nto god with wine, so its either certain tablets or the wine, not both. Decided on the tablets like a sensible girl.

I slept a bit better last night. The aromatherapy spray helped. (Avon one).
Although I had some very strange dreams about car crashes and falling down hills, and then about pop stars and mopping walls? Dont ask. !!!

This morning i am off to the post office, and to take DGD to the Park. Missed it yesterday waiting in for a social worker who didnt appear. When I rang his office in the end, he was off sick. So I suppose it cannot be helped, but it had put my afternoon, on hold. Well my day was governed by coming back to be here for his visit etc. Oh well what is done is done.

I have plenty of sewing jobs to discuss, to do, and to create to keep me busy this weekend. Although it will be strange not to be with BF as we usually are.
Although it would have been his turn to come to my house this weekend, so at least DGD is not disrupted and having to change her room etc.
Talking of her room, I am really annoyed as she has managed to get a crayon and draw all over her bedroom walls! and another scribble has appeared on the carpet!. so I am really fed up, what with it being a newly decorated house etc. Brand new carpets when we moved in.
So I will have the task of trying to reach the wall (its above her cabin bed) and to clean it, and today my arm is not so good. So it may not be of much help.
Yesterday when I took DGD to her Mums to go to Stay and Play, I was annoyed to see that the kitchen I had blitzed 2 days ago had been already transformed into a dumping ground for dishes, and boxes and food. ! Then she said that she had gone and bought new knives and forks and a new kettle. Well she needed the kettle but not the knives and forks. I am afraid my reply to her was that I suppose that that means by the end of the next week, she will have no money for food or electric and she will expect me to help. Then I reminded her that there wasnt going to be anymore money.
(apart from the bills I already pay. at the moment.).
Twin2 was talking about getting to wales to see her BF? see if they can sort things out? I am not sure that that is going to happen, and i am surprised that she is contemplating traveling to Cardiff on her own. She wouldnt do it before. and she would need to travel back by Sunday evening as she has to see the solicitors again to sign her statement, on Monday. And to sign on for her benefits.
I do not yet know if she has gone or not.

There has been no communication from DS as his phone has died a death or so he has reported.

Biggest of Mooloo is due to come and see us tomorrow, for mothers day.

Time for me to get on and move. I am still in my dressinggown.

MatyMoo

You said something a few days ago that hit a chord with me, something about each time BF hurts you it chips away a little bit of you. I used to be like that and then I decided that those little chips had turned me in to someone I didn't want to be, so I started sticking up for myself and grew stronger and more assertive. I like the new me (most of the time :rotfl:)

Thrifty_Sister

MatyMoo wrote: »

You said something a few days ago that hit a chord with me, something about each time BF hurts you it chips away a little bit of you. I used to be like that and then I decided that those little chips had turned me in to someone I didn't want to be, so I started sticking up for myself and grew stronger and more assertive. I like the new me (most of the time :rotfl:)

I can so associate with this too - it was just the same for me until I decided I had had enough. Hopefully Mooloo, things will start to become clearer for you too so that you can decide what it is that you want for your future. Yours and DGD.

Errata

Good to see you're back with us, lappy's are a lifeline to a lot of things but when they go on strike ......grrr !
If the BF won't speak to you, is he worth your time? Communication is often the root of all evil when people don't communicate, and TXT is ok to ask if you want a tin of beans or peas, but can be the work of the devil for something that needs a proper discussion. Because of the time lapse - it's not remotely like a conversation. What to do is a decision only you can make as only you have the full picture.
Just a thought. Will baby wipes shift the crayon?
Sounds like the twins and DS are being difficult once again, try not to let it get you down, and look forward to Mum's day visit from Biggest.
Had a thought about your garden, is it something Biggest's partner could help with if you paid him - it could be cheaper than getting someone in. Also had a thought about your sewing. I saw a small garden tools and bits and bobs fabric bucket with 'baggy' pockets all round the outside and thought how easy it would be too make and how useful it would be.
HTH - enjoy your day tomorrow.

Savvy_sewing

Thrifty_Sister wrote: »

I can so associate with this too - it was just the same for me until I decided I had had enough. Hopefully Mooloo, things will start to become clearer for you too so that you can decide what it is that you want for your future. Yours and DGD.

Although the problems are not the same as "abuse" in the way my sister had many years ago. It struck a cord with me that I do tend to not do things, that perhaps I would have done with out a blink of the eye many years ago. I worry about what I do even if I am with my children, incase it can be mistaken for something that it is not. I hate the anylising of my every word, and being pulled up if I have forgotten something previously said. Or if I change my opinion or feelings then I must have been lying before. Of course he doesnt do this all the time. But he does seem to slip into the cycle of it. If I hadnt been posting on here, I would probably have forgotten between incidents and let it slide. But I feel as if I am walking on egg shells most of the time. Infact I have been walking on them for so long, i dont think I know who the real me is anymore. I certainly wasnt this timid, or battle weiry!
The chipping away has really lost me my confidence. I used to feel that I was at least reasonably attractive, and that my figure was not too bad etc. Now I feel frumpy, and tired. I hardly bother with make up, (which at one time you would not have seem me dead without!), all becuasse subconsciously I dont want to be giving the opinion that i am trying to attract attention to me? the butterfly has become the moth).
I only drress up, put make up on for him. Which is only if we are going out mostly. Which actually is less and less. He puts it down to either my health or having DGD, but his daughter has offered to Babysit for me, and at one time DS had.
He doesnt like my family so I have tried all ways to keep them apart. For what? Why do I have to have a segmented life?

Now you see it is all beginning to add up.
Its all becoming far too much for me,
Its all just on top of me, and its chipped away, and chipped away at me. I dont think I know who the real me is anymore?
Over time I have changed considerably.
Without even realising it.

Until now, that is, until now. As i write this, I am realising more and more how low i have hit!

How did the ambitious, strong, determind and adventurous Mooloo become this shell of exhaustion, fear and trepidation?
Obviously thats not all from my BF, but its how I have ended up. With all that has been going on in my life anyway.

With that note, I am still here in my dressinggown.

On a good note my Mother has just MSN'd me, that I am a great aunt again. A little boy, 8lb 4oz. My brother will be delighted.

Biggest of Mooloo has just sent me a text. Wonder if that means that she may visit today instead.
Oh I must find a burst of energy to get up and get going.
DGD is playing with playdough. What a lovely coloured mess she is making. But at least she is making and doing.

Savvy_sewing

Errata wrote: »

Good to see you're back with us, lappy's are a lifeline to a lot of things but when they go on strike ......grrr !
If the BF won't speak to you, is he worth your time? Communication is often the root of all evil when people don't communicate, and TXT is ok to ask if you want a tin of beans or peas, but can be the work of the devil for something that needs a proper discussion. Because of the time lapse - it's not remotely like a conversation. What to do is a decision only you can make as only you have the full picture.
Just a thought. Will baby wipes shift the crayon?
Sounds like the twins and DS are being difficult once again, try not to let it get you down, and look forward to Mum's day visit from Biggest.
Had a thought about your garden, is it something Biggest's partner could help with if you paid him - it could be cheaper than getting someone in. Also had a thought about your sewing. I saw a small garden tools and bits and bobs fabric bucket with 'baggy' pockets all round the outside and thought how easy it would be too make and how useful it would be.
HTH - enjoy your day tomorrow.

Thanks,
I will see about the garden idea, as the firms are not getting back to me.
Re the bits and bobs fabric bucket I will have to google and see if I can get a picture, then who knows what Mooloo will be turning out. I am making coats for turkeys at the moment.!
Have several handbag discussions going on, so it will be a good week for me ahead.
Last bag on ebay has not moved, so I may be having my first non sale. I will not get dejected though, as I have already thought of ideas on how to improve on it.
I have also been making some bags from souvineer napkins. Bought in the charity shop on a whim the other week.

now I really have to move. I need to use the bathroom if nothing else!!!