Mooloo's New Home, New Year and New Start part 3

carpedieme

Hi Mooloo, dont beat yourself up about this man you owe him nothing and do not have to tread on eggshells because of him. I have been following your thread for a long time and it seems anything that happens that hes not happy about he sulks!!! At the end of the day you only see him for a short time each week, he seems to give you very little support and beleive me, youcan do much better, surely its better to be n your own than bowing down to a man like this, harsh as it sounds this is what comes across on reading your thread, bestof luck and enjoy your break:D

Savvy_Sue

It's sad enough to hear of a young man who's jealous and possessive in this way. You kind of hope they'll grow out of it as they mature. If a middle aged man hasn't, then it's not someone I'd want to spend a lot of time with.

I wonder, is this what finished off his relationship with the mother of his children?

Savvy_sewing

To give BF his due, his wife was rather a "player" and he kept quite for many years becuase he didnt want to loose his kids. She eventually moved out, (we believe she was hoping to be with a man, but it fell through,) however I have met her on a lot of occassions when i was working in Oxford and some of the possessiveness etc was part of the problems, and the need to control her was also underlying.
Anyway, at the moment, I may love some aspects of him very much, but as I am also going to be 50 this year (as he is), I do not think that time will change him, if it hasnt done so far.
It is as I have been at this stage far too often. Do I accept him with this jealous and sulky streak, or do I just walk away and see what I can do with my life, without the worry and the trying to be what he wants of me, and not who I am anymore.
I had hoped that he woud show some real interest in my trying to do something with my sewing, but he didnt really seem that interested. (I may be wrong as sometimes he is quite hard to read!).

But my diaries also tell me that we are always suddenly at crisis point, when he doesnt like what is not under his control. I am a very independant person on the whole, and find that my wanting to please him, wanting to be cossetted and loved, and for him to spend more time with me, is just not going to happen. Indeed although I live a mear 22 miles away now, I see less of him, then I did when I ran my pub in Derbyshire.

I am still angry with him as he doesnt see that his believing that i was to be seeking other mens company was not a normal thing to be thinking in a relationship. Then I fear for the future, and therefore at the moment, my underlying thoughts are that its time to cut my losses and get out of it.

But it saddens me to think this way, and to think that 7 years of my life has been given to someone who doesnt trust me.

carpedieme

Best to draw a line under this " relationship " ( I say that because it doesnt seem to be much of one! ) and move on, best of luck:D

Errata

Sorry to read about the BF trouble again. TBH if he's jealous and controlling and not particularly interested in your life and only communicates by text instead of manning up and having a face to face - there may be better fish in the sea. Who knows what the future might hold.

thorsoak

Mooloo, you have learned the very hard way that the only person you can depend upon in your life - apart from your mum and dad who've always been supportive - is YOU!

From what you have written over your threads - and reading between the lines - often what isn't written down is glaringly obvious to the reader, even if the writer is unconscious of the facts - sadly the BF appears to be just as needy as your children. Do you really want this for the rest of your life? You deserve better!

Far better to live alone, confident that you can cope with things yourself, than live with someone, always worrying about what might happen in the future.....

Wishing you well my friend.

borokat

It's very easy for other people to say walk away, I wouldn't make a big decision like that based on a random selection of opinions!
I do agree that you should weigh up your options and bear in mind that a kind, loving and generous person such as yourself will not find it hard to meet someone else - if that is what you want.

Molly41

One thing you can be sure of is that Mooloo will make up her own mind. However she is supported by many virtual friends and me in real-life who only want to see her happy - whatever that may be. As always love and hugs my dear friend xx

Savvy_sewing

Hello, gosh thanks everyone. As Molly said, I will make up my own mind. I am of course wavering. My heart tells me one thing, and my head tells me another. Its not something to be taken lightly, but it is also a big problem for me, or I would not be pouring out my feelings.

I am not someone who gives up easily, but then I am also quite stubborn.
I am sure that the life I have has been very difficult for my BF to cope with, and I know that his opinion of my family is practically Nil. However that is not a help at the moment.
Such is life.

I have been trying to work out my budget with Cheryls spread sheet, but I have made a lot of payements that I should not have really. Ooops.
The good thing is that I have come in under budget for the food and just hit target for the petrol.

I am very tired as I am not sleeping too well. So its harder to do things. The sciatica has been quite bad this afternoon. I put it down to the fact that I took twin1 home and then spent an hour cleaning her kitchen. Grime Busters nearly!. Then I went to my Mum and Dads for a cuppa. Mum has printed some lovely motifs for me to use with my bags. So I have a lot of things now in the pipeline to keep me busy.

thorsoak

Mooloo wrote: »

Hello, gosh thanks everyone. As Molly said, I will make up my own mind. I am of course wavering. My heart tells me one thing, and my head tells me another. Its not something to be taken lightly, but it is also a big problem for me, or I would not be pouring out my feelings.

I am not someone who gives up easily, but then I am also quite stubborn.
I am sure that the life I have has been very difficult for my BF to cope with, and I know that his opinion of my family is practically Nil. However that is not a help at the moment.
Such is life.

I have been trying to work out my budget with Cheryls spread sheet, but I have made a lot of payements that I should not have really. Ooops.
The good thing is that I have come in under budget for the food and just hit target for the petrol.

I am very tired as I am not sleeping too well. So its harder to do things. The sciatica has been quite bad this afternoon. I put it down to the fact that I took twin1 home and then spent an hour cleaning her kitchen. Grime Busters nearly!.

Mooloo ....:eek:......why???????

Then I went to my Mum and Dads for a cuppa. Mum has printed some lovely motifs for me to use with my bags. So I have a lot of things now in the pipeline to keep me busy.

You're still doing it - you just can't help yourself can you :cool::rotfl:

Twin 1's mess ....Twin 1's problem .....NOT YOURS!!! Your poor arm & shoulder!

You really do have to think of yourself my dear!