Mooloo's New Home, New Year and New Start part 3

candygirl

whiteguineapig wrote: »

i think i would turn my phone off and let them all get on with it !

Or emigrate:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Only joking mooloo;):D

Savvy_sewing

candygirl wrote: »

Or emigrate:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Only joking mooloo;):D

I wanted to do that many years ago. but kids got in the way, and now the grandkids have! such is life.
My sister was right to upsticks and move to France and my brother has also brought a property in France.!
Maybe one day.........

there is one think I wanted to do, but BF was never up for and that was to go back to cyprus where we grew up, (and alas met!), in the 70's. But if things dont improve maybe I will save for a holiday there. I am sure DGD would love it.
Mind you I do love my Portugal and would emigrate there if I could afford it, but there is not much likely hood of that. I doubt selling handbags will make me rich!
But we can dream. Without dreams and hopes what is the point after all?
Twin1 is now here and she is counting the penny pot with DGD. So at least i can chill a bit now.
I am quite sore from being in and out today, and driving a lot.
Just had a bit of road rage outside my house when a car pulled up just infront of me and was going to park in the only place outside my home. Really I have no right to park there, any more then anyone else, but I just didnt fancy parking half a mile away and walking. So someone in the public with her posh sports car is knarked with me now! Oh well I cannot be perfect every day and she could have used the doctors carpark afterall!!

Just shows I am not my normal self!

Jo4

Gee Mooloo the stress of it all. Mother's day is this Sunday and I hope your family treat you as you deserve to be treated at least for one day. Your bf really doesn't deserve you. :A :grouphug:

Savvy_sewing

Oh I am not stressed with it anynmore. I am ANGRY with them all.
DS was at Twin1's house when I went to collect her. Going out the door with the boy from the family I detest of course. They had carrierbags with beers in, and he was not coming home. He would not tell me when he was going to come home again. So I fear that I will be cutting him off now.
I have kept the big room for him, when DGD is here all the time and he is not. I am seriously thinking of moving the rooms around, and making DGD's room my work room.
IF he doesnt want to come home, then I will be looking at the budget tonight, as that will mean that the benefits will definitely have to change and so we are going to have to pull our horns in and helping anyone will just have to stop! (By anyone I do mean my children in this!).
I have really got to that stage in life that I have been used and abused far too much for my liking and I am not going to take it anymore.

After tea I will get the spread sheet out, update it, and then look at where it will change.
I will also email my solicitor to make sure that he gets the Guardianship sorted out so I can get on with looking after DGD without the interference of the Social Services as well.
The various gardening companies I have spoken to have not come back to me about the garden so it looks like I will just have to do it myself somehow. Maybe a few inches at a time!!! ha.....at 49metres long and 10ish wide, it will take some time!.

Time for tea.

Keeping_Motivated

Mooloo could you advertise in a local paper or a newsagent or something for a handt type man to do the donkey work in the garden rather than a gardener as i am sure that would be cheaper then maybe yopu could potter over time to make it more pretty, as long as it is safe?

Savvy_sewing

I think I will have to. DS is obviously not going to be of any help. BF is very much a person non gratis at the moment.!
And heaven forbid that the twins will do any thing heavy! You should have seen thier efforts when we moved.

Biggest is too pregnant to help.
Oh well such is life, it will sort itself out eventually. So that ok.

tired_mum

I think twin 1 is confused you are the acting parent for DGD so why would she put her first in her eyes you are DGD mum not her as for the card would she even realise that it wasnt for her but for you if you kept it?
What you said the other day about having to work so hard to keep it going with little or no effort from the other side if its not a 2 way street by now will it ever be? You need to be sure that you you want to live like that for the forseable future maybe some thinking time is well overdue for you both
DS is a worry i really feel through all of this he is just used to playing second fiddle first to the twins and now to DGD like a small child i think he is just being a pain to get attention
But after saying all this i am not a marriage counseller or a psychologist so i have to say good luck and do what you feel is right for all of you xxxx

MatyMoo

Mooloo, if you sorted out the problem with BF now how is he going to react to you going away with Molly? Will it be another thing that gives him the sulks? Two women going away with a little one and a potential baby sitter could be going out on the pull each evening! I *KNOW* you won't be, but will his warped mind see it that way????

I think you do an amazing job with DGD with very little help from anyone. I know that you always want to do the best for your own children but I do think the time has come to put you and DGD first.

BTW I am a proud owner of a Mooloo original. It has been purchased as a gift for my sister and I love it so much I may have to keep a look out for one for me

Sending hugs, lots of them

Maty
-x-

Savvy_sewing

Thanks everyone. I know that it is only BF and I that can make thinks work, alas at the moment, he is still not seeing things from my point of view and we are still only communicating behind text messaging. Which is very frustrating.
He cannot see how his even thinking that I may be "seeking out other men behind his back" is not something that is a major problem to me.
He cannot see that ignoring me, instead of speaking up about a problem is not hurting and humiliating me.
He cannot see that there is anything major, as in his words "Once I would have flown off the handle" ( at the mention of my being in the football club, in a pub, or near the facinity of a male counterpart?). Well I think I would have prefered he had flown off the handle, then I wouldnt have had to wait 48 hours to find out what it was that I was supposed to have been doing.

I do love him, and I do try so hard to tell him what I am doing / where I have been, etc etc about my days, but he usually doesnt want to listen and makes it known that "there are some things he wants to know about, some things he doesnt, and some things he thinks he is best not knowing?" which i found to be a very strange thing to say to me. There is nothing I have to hide?

Re the holiday, I dont think Molly and I have any energy left to be "on the pull". anyway we have her daughter and son to chaperone us! Ha we are going to be living in a chalet in the woods, and are unlikely to be using make up and friparies as we will be in jeans or tracksuit bottoms!, and not much else. We are going to relax and enjoy DGD enjoying the open air and the freedom to use her little bike and scooter, and to swim in the swimming pool.

The reason that I am so worried, is in deed that he continues to do this to me, and it wares me down, and it wares my heart. I am thinking hard, about the future, which he is thinking is a rather strange thing as he doesnt see he has done wrong, and I am thinking long and hard as each time he does this he distroys another little bit of me. I am looking over my shoulder wondering if anything I am doing can be taken the wrong way. Lets face it, on the whole we are only together for just over 24 hours in any week! There are a lot of hours that I have to account for? What if I forget to tell him that i bumped into anyone or that I happened to stop off somewhere? Its not easy is it. Living like that. Its not normal, its not healthy and its not going to carry on.
I feel as if I am not the person I used to be. Not only have my children taken their toll on me, my BF and his jealous mind is also doing it.
That in itself tells me this relationship is no longer healthy. That the physical side of a relationship may not be the be all and end all, and that that is not the glue that should bind us. Trust is the glue that should bind us. We do not seam to have trust even now.
I am told that what I tell him "does not ring true", and basically that I am now a liar? Well I am today battling with messages between us, from 6.30 till now, and all I see is me getting more and more frustrating trying to understand his point of view, and really annoyed that he is not listening to my point of view.!
I fear for my future with him, becuase if there was ever a chance to have been sharing my life completely with him in the future, this is a huge problem, in my eyes it certainly is the crunch problem.!
Will he deal with it properly? I dont know.
I think he has been reading this thread, on and off, I am not sure. This morning he has told me to "listen to my friends" well as Molly is my only physical friend, and the people on here are my only other friends, it seems highly likely that he is.
Maybe then if he is, he can see in black and white once more what the hell is bugging me, and why I am not sure I can make this work anymore.
It doesnt mean that I do not love him. Its becuase I do love him, and thats the hard part.
Loving and letting go? thats hard. But I also have to think of him repeating this again, and again, as he has in the past 7 years. What for the next 30? I will be destroyed by it all. I will turn into a nervous wreck, if I am not one already. I certainly was one after I lost the pub, and i dont think I want to go that way again. EVER.

right its a good job that Twin1 is here, as I am not dressed and its way passed breakfast and DGD has nursery this morning.
Such is life. I have to switch off the heart/head and get on with the day.

Matty thanks for the vote of confidence about the bag. I am so pleased you like it. I think that it has sparked off some other ideas, that i hope I will actually get out of my head, and onto the fabric. If only I could draw so I could off load them a bit, I may sleep better!. haha

Thrifty_Sister

Morning Mooloo - you sound absolutely worn out with all your problems and mostly it sounds like it is problems caused by other people. You will hopefully see things more clearly when you have your holiday and have a chance to unwind and hopefully get your life back in perspective. Been there and done it as they say and know for myself that the more you do the more they will let you - I know you have certain responsibilities that cannot change but it sounds like it is time to think about you a bit more. Take care.