Mooloo's New Home, New Year and New Start part 3

Keeping_Motivated

Mooloo I totally agree with you, Twin2 should be given every single resource possible to help her keep the boys and I hope that happens. I am sorry if I have upset you this evening it wasn't my intention.

minimoneysaver

We all need a positive influence in our life.... hopefully Twin 2 has found hers. x

MatyMoo

So pleased you got the cheque Mooloo, shame they aren't also paying interest on their late payment!

Also seems to have been a positive meeting :T I would at least write down some brief notes of your understanding while it is still fresh in your mind just in case theirs is different.

Fingers crossed that the best option is taken for the boys, whatever that may be, once everything is taken in to consideration. I know it breaks your heart not to be able to do more for them but don't forget how much you already do for DGD and be proud of that.

Maty

gizmo111

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Forgive my ignorane as I am clueless on these situations but wouldn't this make it emotionally harder on the boys? I mean it is going backwards in terms of what the future holds for them and might be more confusing and build their hopes up?

This doesn't help Mooloo I accept and if I was her I would want to see them as much as possible obviously but my gut thought what if the boys think (especially the older one with more memory) that they are coming 'home' IYSWIM.

Like I said though, this is not an informed opinion just a gut reaction?

No - Mooloo is seeing the boys so they have that attachment - if they are adopted then the time they spend will form part of their life story.memory box and will be important when they ask ? later in lifeto understand that they had a family that loved then but for various reasons couldn't look after them.

Mooloo wrote: »

Until the final court case in May, we do not know the outcome for the boys.
If we can present to the courts that Mum is in a stable relationship, that the partner is willing to take on the boys, and that as a family we can also support them coming home and the boys are not going t be at risk. It is only fair that we still try. Children should be placed in the family. Mum made mistakes, god we all know that, but before it is too late, we should be able to try to salvege a family don't you think? Well I do. But I am biased. They are my family.
I would take the boys in myself, so often it has been a thought on my mind. But I also have to be realistic and as my health is bad I cannot realistically do it.
But I can support. and i fear that my supporting mum with kids is actually going to be easier then dealing with the system and the stressses that I have had to cope with.
My health has deteriorated considerably in the last 3 years. And I have been told many times that Stress agravates it. Shaz mum of 2, will tell you that one no doubt.
Twin 2 is practically on the verge of a nervous breakdown, but nobody will listen or help her. We are damded.
this is not fair.
It is like our country policy of "innocent until proven guilty" well with the press that is not so. And someone arrested is reported and plastered all over the place. Then ah! m, they are let go. we should not hear this. Only the facts. that is why our world is wrong.

Sorry.
got to get off of here, as my emotions are very high

Still a short relationship with little history with the boys, however I would ask that he be considered and assessed along with Twin2 and boys in the physcological assessments - he most likely will have to become party to proceedings before he can do this - guardian and local authority could object/refuse and then the court will have to decide if it is appropriate or not. When are the reports due?
Is the final hearing in May - or is it just an IRH (Issues Resolution Hearing)

Take Care x

Savvy_sewing

We have repeatedly asked for hm to be party to the proceedings. The case before last the information on him was requested from the local authority he came from. This was delayed in coming, and took the courts to serve an order on the local authority.
The guardian was all for the inclusion of BF. It was the SocialWorker who was adamnant that it was not to happen. She has been negative all along, and in flexable. But I hear she has now retired, or is retiring. Anyway the meeting yesterday, the lady has said that she will talk to the appropriate boss, and get them to arrange to talk to me. So we will see.

I am a bit emotional, as I had to go back over everything, and its difficult to do that. I lost my right to apply to have the boys in December. So therefore I feel that I have let them down, even though the other part of me knows that I can not have 3 of them running around all the time.

Do not worry about upsetting me. Its me that upsets me!

Today I am meeting with Molly. We can put the world to rights, and i can make a start on my Mooloo world, of sewing.

Molly41

hugs my friend xx See you later - remember all you have achieved xx

Savvy_sewing

On my return from taking DGD to Nursery, and her Mum backhome I had a call from the Social Worker, who I have no confidence in. He was not his usual friendly type but on the defencive side, and a little abrupt with me. So he had been told of my cheque arriving. (I had left messages). He then has cancelled our meeting next week, and re booked for APRIL! He reckons that he has been seeing too much of us?
He asked again for my daughter to get the bus and to put in receipts rather then for me to drive her. He doesnt get the fact that i take DGD to Mum to go to Stay and Play. She could not do that on the bus! The buses are not that regular. He Told me that he was makikn a note of my "difience of his request" in his files.
I told him that I would be dealing with his superior when it came to financing, and although his words were good that it was one less headache for him, he was not happy. Tough.
He did say that i should have been compensated for the delay! I just laughed and said Right! Sorry but what compensation would that be then? A day off? less visits? Please excuse me being cynical, but come on their track record is rediculous.

Right now I am going to switch off from SS today. Celebrate that my money is here, and that I will be able to get my Shed soon!

Time to make a move.

Elle7

I'm really sorry that the social worker seemed defensive...your experience with them is sounding more and more like mine, although I was 15/16 at the time and so I couldn't do much about it. I think they get their nose out of joint (so to speak) when you go over their heads, but as you've seen, it made everything happen a lot faster. No one with any brain cells will see this as defiance, even if he does record it that way!

I hope your get to relax a bit while DGD is at nursery, and that you have an easier day. Remember that you are amazing, and you are a real role model to me. You are very inspirational, without meaning to be, and that makes it even more of an achievement.

Take it easy x

Savvy_sewing

Elle7 wrote: »

I'm really sorry that the social worker seemed defensive...your experience with them is sounding more and more like mine, although I was 15/16 at the time and so I couldn't do much about it. I think they get their nose out of joint (so to speak) when you go over their heads, but as you've seen, it made everything happen a lot faster. No one with any brain cells will see this as defiance, even if he does record it that way!

I hope your get to relax a bit while DGD is at nursery, and that you have an easier day. Remember that you are amazing, and you are a real role model to me. You are very inspirational, without meaning to be, and that makes it even more of an achievement.

Take it easy x

Gosh, thanks. I am sorry that your dealings were also no good ones. But I fear that very few are good relationships as it is the nature of thier jobs, and the limited resources they do have. (But there is still no excuse for incompetency!).
I do not feel very much like a role model, but if I am of any help to anyone, then that is good. (I think!).

Molly came over and we had a cuppa and a chat. No its time for some lunch.
I didn sleep very well last night, and am dreading the rest of the day, I have only an hour and a half left to do my thing now. So I better get cutting out so I can actually do some sewing!

Savvy_sewing

Well DS needed collecting from the bus this afternoon, so some disruption to my timings, but he did help me to get the two bookcases into the cupboard that is under the stairs. Ready for me to unpack the boxes that were in there. We still need to build the third bookcase, but he had to move out all the boxes first. So for him that was enough for one session of helping mum. And he started to help even before he had taken off his coat and I didnt have to ask him!
He is now on his Xbox playing terrible music, but at least he is at home, and has actually attended college two days on the trot! He has even cancelled helping at Towcester races tomorrow, so that his attendance goes up at college. (He had a disaplinary last week I think, but now he is 18 they dont have to let me know).
My SAD light has arrived. I am hoping that it will be a help. Now I need to study the book that came with it. Got it from signing up to be a Bzz agent, and only had to pay £48 which is a huge discount on them!.

I managed to make BF a tea cosy for his teapot. But that was all I managed. But its a start on the sewing front.
I am shattered today, and I will be in bed not long after DGD tonight.

Dinner is in the oven. Roast chicken pieces and a potato bake. Will just do quick and easy peas with it.