Mooloo's New Home, New Year and New Start part 3

Savvy_sewing

minimoneysaver wrote: »

He's probably just worried about the intrusion in his life from SS. I can't imagine it's a pleasant experience for anyone to go through. Big hugs Mooloo, I'm sure it'll all work out for you. Remember Everest and think about where you are now on your mountain.

Dont feel much like sherpa Tensing! (spelling?). Feel as if Basecamp is still only just a few feet behind me. Or is that infront?
Just up, BF is here, but the talking is not easy as DGD is around.
I tried last evening. But that didnt really get me any further enlightened.
Back later when the day is drawing in no doubt.

Savvy_sewing

Well the relationship seems to be carrying on as is. I think it is the intrusion of the SS that is making him think about the situation we are in. His opinion is that I Need someone that can be there to help me, all the time. Well I would like that in an ideal world of course. But that doesnt mean that I would rather not have him on the scene.!
He did mention in his messages that he wanted "freedom, health, wealth and an active life". So that gave me the impression that its him that wants out and he is trying to make himself feel better by putting it that its me that is wanting out.
But when we actually went deeper into the situation, he wants to be with "the person he fell in love with 6 years ago", well thats me. But the problem is that the dreams of those days are gone, due to my situation changing.
My Freedom is curtailed by having DGD, my health is not good, my wealth went with the bankruptcy, and my active life, is non existent really.
But his Freedom is also not there, as he is still caring for his daughter, and cannot stop here as he has to take her too work etc. So I pointed out that as long as he was still doing things for his daughter, then he too didnt have the freedom, so why talk about it as if its my fault?
He has his health, and my problems do not impact on that.
He has his wealth, as I do not rely on him for anything. What ever his divorce costs etc and losses etc were going to happen whether or not I was on the scene, and so his wealth is down to him.
His active life style, can still be achieved, he doesnt have to rely on me to be beside him if he wants to go places, or to walk, ride, ski or swim etc. I can alway watch him when he goes sailing, or playing football etc etc. So again I really do not see what he can put at my door.
I agree that its not the future we expected for ourselves. We had envisaged being "free" to go and do our own thing eventually. But who knowns what will be around the corner.
I said that there was a time when I didnt think I was able to bring up DGD, and that when I had suggested that I could not do it, etc, He had been the one to tell me that I had no option. I Pointed out that actually I do have an option, and at the moment, if I had thought that it was right I could have said so, and refused to go ahead with the care of DGD. He then said that if he was in my position he would do the same. So there, there is no contest is there!.
What we can ever do to change the divide between our lives I have absolutely no idea. Becuase it will take the two of us to make the changes, and it will take all of our families to accept that, and to be less demanding on us.

I would have run away with him, to the ends of the earth once. I would live where ever he wanted, and I would like to share everything. But in truth, he doesnt want that, becuase it means my world would intrude into his neat little world and cause too much disruption. But when he is with me, and we are on our own, then problems dissappear and we enjoy our time together. When he is here, he helps me. Today he helped with starting to tackle the wreck of a front garden. I couldnt have done it on my own, and I would have given up a lot sooner then I did when we were out there clearing it together, and DGD was playing with her sit on car, and digging up worms etc. etc. The garden looks completely different already.
He even took care of DGD so I could have a long soak in the hot bath I craved. When he left to go home, she wanted hugs and cuddles before he left, he had to come all the way back up the path as she wanted a second hug.!
So what ever there is between us, its not for want of trying to sort it on myside. But I am relieved that he seemed to have gone home back on track.
If only he would talk to me properly and more often, and less texting! Then I am sure we would have a much easier life, with a lot less guess work!

I am quite amazed at how much I did manage, but thank god I could have that soak in the bath, my heat pads, and time to watch the TV and relax for the rest of the afternoon.
It will be DGD's bedtime soon. She is still coughing a bit, and has a bit of a runny nose, but she is a lot better then she was before.
Me, I will be having an early night too.

minimoneysaver

Mooloo, in all honesty I think you are in a lovely place right now and the type of situation I would like to be in with your BF. You both have your own homes, own lives and each other as and when it suits. I think that is lovely and in all honesty, would you really want to be living with someone right now? I know for a fact I wouldn't want someone else living with me right now. My life revolves around my daughter, job etc, but it would be nice to be taken out for dinner every once in a while.

gizmo111

I can see where he's coming from and he seems almost like he feeels that he has lost his dreams too, which isn't your fault, but he obviously cares deeply for you and the next few months with all the court cases for the boys and the finalising the SG for DGD will seem like a never ending battle for you and I guess he's just doing what people do and feeling helpless and not knowing what to do for the best., and probably feeling that everything always revolves around children and never seeing an end to being responsible for them and just enjoying being grandparents. Hang on in there as things settle down with the children the adults and littlys and then maybe you can get some respite (ex hubby) and spend some time together on a regular basis without children and then plan your future which I am sure will be together in a format that suits you both and allows your relationship to strenghten and continue for many years.
You are doing a great job all round xx

Savvy_sewing

gizmo111 wrote: »

I can see where he's coming from and he seems almost like he feeels that he has lost his dreams too, which isn't your fault, but he obviously cares deeply for you and the next few months with all the court cases for the boys and the finalising the SG for DGD will seem like a never ending battle for you and I guess he's just doing what people do and feeling helpless and not knowing what to do for the best., and probably feeling that everything always revolves around children and never seeing an end to being responsible for them and just enjoying being grandparents. Hang on in there as things settle down with the children the adults and littlys and then maybe you can get some respite (ex hubby) and spend some time together on a regular basis without children and then plan your future which I am sure will be together in a format that suits you both and allows your relationship to strenghten and continue for many years.
You are doing a great job all round xx

Thanks Gizmo, I really appreciate those words.
I do feel that its a never ending saga!

How are you today? I hope that your feeling a bit better then last week, actually a lot better then last week. We do need good people like you in the SS!. Can we clone you?
Do take care, dont let them burn you out and take regular breaks yourself. Hugs Moo x

gizmo111

Mooloo wrote: »

Thanks Gizmo, I really appreciate those words.
I do feel that its a never ending saga!

How are you today? I hope that your feeling a bit better then last week, actually a lot better then last week. We do need good people like you in the SS!. Can we clone you?
Do take care, dont let them burn you out and take regular breaks yourself. Hugs Moo x

I'm good today, had a very relaxing weekend and caught up with a few old friends. Got today off to do a few things around house and have a bit of peace whilst the girls are at school and college.

Take Care

Savvy_sewing

gizmo111 wrote: »

I'm good today, had a very relaxing weekend and caught up with a few old friends. Got today off to do a few things around house and have a bit of peace whilst the girls are at school and college.

Take Care

Catching up with old friends is a great healer isnt it!

Molly has been to see me this morning. I showed her the progress that BF and I made on the front garden, and the scarey 9"bladed knife we came across just under the top of the grass, in the back garden.! That was just me noticing a piece of glass glistening in the sun where DGD and I were outside.! Scared me to death.

I have telephoned the housing and left another message about the garden.
Spurred on my Molly I have also called the SS and asked why my Money is still not here! The inadequacy is beyond belief.
She is going to investigate.

I really do not have any faith in the local authority at all.

The sun is shining beautifully here, but by gosh its still very cold.

DGD went to Nursery for 3 hours today. She will go for a full 6 tomorrow.
I went to my parents to collect my sewing machine. It looks like a brand new one! Cannot wait to be sewing again.
Funnily enough, my Mum had made me a card with a message to get sewing and to enjoy my creating once more. Very odd as I had been talking to Molly about the very same thing this morning.
My Mum is so on the intuition.

My dad has given me some more filming that he has started to work on on the cross over from Video to DVD. These are of the twins as babies and biggest of mooloo when she was helping me etc etc.
Amazing he was able salvage some of it. It will be a lovely piece of history for the children.

Just had a call, apparantly dispite the instruction to pay me by BACS, the council has just phoned me, and a cheque was posted on Friday!! here we go again!

Molly41

Oh their incompetency is beyond belief! Glad you got your sewing machine back - cant wait to see your creations xx

Savvy_sewing

Molly41 wrote: »

Oh their incompetency is beyond belief! Glad you got your sewing machine back - cant wait to see your creations xx

Does it surprise me? No not really. What do you expect from them? I dont expect anything but heartaches and headaches, cos thats all they are good for.!
Tomorrow I will be seeing the Team Manager! ha, I knew her in a passed life, that will be interesting.

My bookcases have arrived and are currently behind the sofa as DS didnt come home (again? still?). Not sure if he is coming home but if he does it will be the bus at around an hour.

Time to feed DGD. Heavens knows what we will have as there is little but snack stuff in store at the moment. Tonight its definitely a food order from Mr A.!! to do.

Savvy_sewing

Well DGD had boiled eggs and toast, her favourite at the moment. DS came home on the bus, but disappeared up to his room within moments of arriving. Only to be seem again well after I had called him for his tea and that was late!
I had some soupful stuff that was quite pleasant to tide me over, when DGD ate, then I had a chicken curry and rice, left overs that were in the freezer and DS had the last chop and chips. Bit of a mish mash.
Had terrible trouble with my Food order. Obviously people dont tend to move much! ha. Anyway, I ended up signing up all over again as a new customer as my orders were not being sent from Mysupermarket trolley to my Asda one.! What a hastle!. So it was nearly 8.30 before we had our dinner.
(DGD was tucked up in bed around 8pm).
I also did a cheap and cheerful order of basics like socks and underpants, shirts and jumper for DS as I cannot stand to see him in the same clothes much longer! so I blew £75 on Mr George!

I watched silent witness, then went to bed with a book. Up at 6.15 to make sure DS was up, and back to bed till 7.30! Wish Ihad got up and stayed up, had a night of weird dreams and in one I was in a car accident. Only woke up as the vehicle overturned.! My heart was pounding when i woke up!

Today is the day I go and meet up with the Team Manager for the inadequacies of our LA. Will I get any results? Who knows.?
Have I any Faith? Nope!.

Time to get dressed and get DGD to Nursery. Then housework morning, with food delivery due between 10 and 12 then drive to Northampton for this appointment. I should have made her come here really. The driving does take it out of me these days.!