Buyers are camped in our garden over Christmas

clutton_2

:TOMG !!!! LOL LOL LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have not seen this for years..... howlingly funny...... :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: I dont know why Parky got so po-faced about it all afterwards, even when he was on the floor he was laughing..... maybe he just got asked about it too many times by too many reporters...

consultant31

samuel.s wrote: »

Absolutely brilliant!

Maybe i have a twisted humour but i read this as you are referring to a Ann summers best seller. Suprised no one else read it that way. Keep the posts coming Mr J.

Yes, I think most of us 'got' that one :rotfl:

SPANIEL36

any update Mr jones?

marcowil

Give him time to write "the next chapter" ;-)

thejonesfamily

Ok, there is a will in place giving power to daughter as executor. I have asked for something in writing to stipulate the rent and their agreement. The EA has been notified of the reduced asking price and is thanful we are still proceeding.

However, last night we trekked out to the cinema and came back quite late.

We noticed a light on in the house which wasnt on before and went in. The TV was on and Mrs C was in her nightie watching Davinas fat fighting programme i recorded the otehr night. She was in tears.

Wait for it.

I nodded to Mrs J that she should go and see Mrs C and see what is the matter whilst I took the dog out. I left them to it. I was wondering perhaps whether Mrs C was out of batteries for her recorder so my mind puzzled walking over the road. Then, on the bench I saw Mr C sitting there. I asked him if everything was OK and he walked with me. He was steaming drunk.

It emerges that Mrs C went to borrow Mr C's mobile phone yesterday and found a text message on there from last week from the surgery lady he had been carrying on with. Admittidly the message was harmless, just saying something like "hope all goes well with the funeral, talk if you need to x".

However, what narked Mrs C was the reply which went along the lines of (and bear in mind that they are going back to spread the ashes of Enith in Devon at some point)

"England isnt the only one to bring the ashes home. Cant wait to see you again, I need a thorough check over"

Now, I am not one to pass comment, but I asked him why he is still in touch with the woman that nearly destroyed his marriage.

He replies, I am leaving her anyway.

It appears the affair has never ended. The house they have sold whilst in joint names is her money left to her so he has no want for it. He was stalling all along to set her up in the new home and leave her there. He then admitted he deliberately ruined the funeral directors job by responding stupidly to the funeral directors question

"do you have a question?"

Normally in a job interview, one may ask about the future of the company. No. He asked whether he could go and have a look at some dead bodies.:eek: Which they declined.

So I asked him whether the marriage was worth saving and he said no. Mrs C is interested in herself in life and in bed and she once told him he cant beat the recorder (hence the need to keep borrowing my 1980s book). I think the recorder laying in the camper has also caused a little tension and the fact it isnt a white recorder was also mentioned.

So I left him on the bench with his drink and went back to the house. Mrs J was in the kitchen making coffee and i went to update her. This is the odd bit. She doesnt know he is leaving her. He said the text was just a wind up made when he was drunk and he has nothing to do with his floosie anymore. It turns out that Mrs C is going to chuck out Mr C on moving in day. He doesnt know he isnt moving in and she doesnt know he is leaving her.

So ladies and gentlemen, this Friday is going to be a very interesting day. Oh and just as well we arent sleeping in the camper as it appears Mr C is taking it "and to hell with the summons".

busiscoming2

This just gets better and better! I want to come to Wales on Friday and watch!

RacyRed

Webcams!!!!

We need lots of webcams on and in the house on Friday.

Oh go on Mr J, just the one? Purleeeeeese?

thejonesfamily

RacyRed wrote: »

Webcams!!!!

We need lots of webcams on and in the house on Friday.

Oh go on Mr J, just the one? Purleeeeeese?

Oh lord no. I used to have the laptop in the bedroom and I normally leave it on day and night, anyway, one day we used the webcam to talk to friends in the states and left it on accidentally for the rest of thats Sunday night. To their credit, they were very complimentary but respected our privacy.

RacyRed

thejonesfamily wrote: »

Oh lord no. I used to have the laptop in the bedroom and I normally leave it on day and night, anyway, one day we used the webcam to talk to friends in the states and left it on accidentally for the rest of thats Sunday night. To their credit, they were very complimentary but respected our privacy.

OMG! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Mr J. You do live a very eventful life

Good luck for Friday.

thejonesfamily

RacyRed wrote: »

OMG! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Mr J. You do live a very eventful life

Good luck for Friday.

Anyone else get that guilt feeling when the dog comes in and watches you giving it some countryfile on a sunday night?