Buyers are camped in our garden over Christmas

RacyRed

greenface wrote: »

Originally Posted by thejonesfamily
I think the recorder laying in the camper has also caused a little tension and the fact it isnt a white recorder was also mentioned.


I WOULD SAY THAT WAS VIBRACISM

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

And that is pure sexsationalism!

greenface, you owe me a keyboard

SPANIEL36

this needs to be made into a sitcom!!

SazM030306

I must say I am really enjoying this thread! I've never laughed so much on a forum :beer: Thank you Mr Jones xxx

greenface

we need updates Ive been to work and back since the last post.

mostlycheerful

In the meantime (just to keep you going till the next update)…

I reminded Mrs S that we invited the Jones round for a spot of lunch and maybe a few drinks and she said, sure, why don’t you organise it so I said certainly. I hadn’t actually got round to asking him his address and I couldn’t find the bit of paper with his phone number on it, then I looked in my trousers that Mrs S had just washed and found the screwed up bit of paper with the slight remains of ink. Oh dear.

Hmm, what to do.

I popped into the village and sure enough I picked up the scent fairly quickly. There was a commotion going on, a couple of fairly old people struggling with a large amount of shopping and trying to load it into their campervan but evidently they’d both lost the keys to it and were arguing as to whose fault it was. As I walked up to them I found that actually the argument was more something about “that woman” and “it was only because she was the receptionist, you’re not good enough for a doctor, you silly old fool” and such like. Oh dear, I thought, maybe now is not particularly a good time to approach them.

I went into the newsagents and bought a paper and I could hear them going at it hammer and tongs outside. The woman’s voice was rising and the man was starting to shout over her. He yelled out “I never loved you anyway” and she countered with “yes, I know, me too, I never loved you either, I only married you for your money but you lied about that as well, didn’t you, and you haven’t got any, have you, and you never did have, did you, and it was all just lies, lies, lies, you beastly beastly man. And now you’re lying again, aren’t you. That’s all you ever do is lie, isn’t it. There’s not an honest bone in your body is there.”

I tried not to laugh. Despite the musical hall quality of the act, this was severe unhappiness. These people were in torment. But I took a guess that they must be something to do with Mr Jones, there’d been lots of talk in the village about all the ne’er do wells and strange people and a whole coachload of blind people, and a portly man on a motorbike wearing leather clothes and looking like an extra from a Mad Max movie. As it turns out Mr Jones has already said, think Brian Blessed in leathers, nice.

So I said, excuse me, do you know Mr Jones and could you please tell me which house he’s in as I have a message to give him. They were shouting so loudly and so engrossed in their fight that they didn’t hear me at all and the woman was starting to throw items from their shopping bags at the man. She got him full in the face with something large and heavy and he went down, crunch, flat out in the road. Oh dear, this was serious.

He lay there and didn’t move and the woman started screaming hysterically and yelling at the top of her voice “I’ve killed him, I’ve killed him.” She opened a 4 litre plastic bottle of milk and poured it on his face and this revived him and he spluttered awake, coughing milk everywhere. A gross tableaux. Oh dear, oh dear, how awful.

I helped him to his feet and the milk got all over my clothes, the price of being a good Samaritan. Strangely, as soon as he came to he started insulting the woman again and saying that one day he was going to kill her to which she riposted no, you’re too weak and pathetic, your little fat arms aren’t strong enough. Charming. Charmed, I’m sure.

They seemed to calm down a bit and I helped them pick up all the fruit and veg strewn around from their fight, some of it was a bit tatty and squashy by now and covered in milk and dust and grit, but so what, then I helped them into their van with all their shopping and finally they chugged off. As they disappeared around the corner I vaguely remembered that there was some reason why I was involved with them. What was it? Oh, yes, where does Mr Jones live. That was what I was going to ask them. But in all the hectic hurley burley and excitement of the incident I completely forgot.

Salz

Why has Mr Jones not found an internet cafe to update us! I can't believe he couldn't take trime out from moving to let us know how it was going

almond

Salz wrote: »

Why has Mr Jones not found an internet cafe to update us! I can't believe he couldn't take trime out from moving to let us know how it was going

omg were is he i need my fix

InnerDemon

Mr Jones we need more updates
Did the move happen? How did it go?
And more importantly, are you and Mrs J the new Clampetts?:eek:

thejonesfamily

Sorry for the delay in coming back. I had to nip to Cardiff this am and get a dongle for my laptop but I am back up now.

I will be updating you later. We unpacked this morning a few boxes we brought with us only to realise that Eniths ashes were in the box along with a fe wother possessions (we picked up the wrong box!).

Anyway, we have to nip over to Dinas and see how Mrs C is settling in to the new home and give her mum back.

RacyRed

Great to hear from you MrJ!