Struggling mum of 2 - where do I turn for help??

demir2424

I have just been on entitled and it is saying that I should qualify for full council tax benefit and about 800 pound more a month in tax credits.

demir2424

Why does it not sound right?

demir2424

The csa are in communication with my ex husbands personnel department at work, they are providing past pay slips and I was told after christmas direct payments will start and he can then dispute them.

demir2424

I am on this forum asking for help and advise not to be bullied by somebody who has a bad experience of the csa.
I am trying to raise 2 small children on 858 pounds a month (that's including tax credits) and a mortgage to pay, whilst my ex husband swans around with 17 year olds on his arm earning around 3500 a month and telling me that my children need to learn the value of money and therefore get nothing.
csa has been chasing him for 10 months now.
I am in a very fragile and emotional state at the moment your comments do not help.

NickyBat

demir2424 wrote: »

I am on this forum asking for help and advise not to be bullied by somebody who has a bad experience of the csa.
I am trying to raise 2 small children on 858 pounds a month (that's including tax credits) and a mortgage to pay, whilst my ex husband swans around with 17 year olds on his arm earning around 3500 a month and telling me that my children need to learn the value of money and therefore get nothing.
csa has been chasing him for 10 months now.
I am in a very fragile and emotional state at the moment your comments do not help.

Who is bullying you?
I agree with you what he has / is doing is despicable

Mollsmum21

Hi There,

Firstly i really think you need to change you solicitor and secondly DO NOT MOVE OUT OF THE HOME! You have the children and you and the children are entitled to stay there unless a court order proves otherwise.

The children are young enough and you have many of great christmas's to come with the 2 children so one leniant christmas wont matter aslong as they have got there mummy, a roof, warmth, food & love!

Have you tried contacting Surestart as they have people called family support workers that with my experince of them are fantastic!

Gingerbread, These are a brilliant organisation as my mum used these when she split from my dad and i remember them helping & supporting her during it.

If you feel alone come on here there are some great people with some great advice and support.

Keep us informed how you are doing.

Emma x

JustKeepSwimming_2

Demir2424 - not much to add except to echo the DONT MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE comment from many others.

I'm sorry your ex is being such an @rse & just wanted to send you a :grouphug: Sounds a bit naff but you really will be better off without him. You are not a bad mother - your kids will remember the fun of Xmas, not the "stuff". There will be lots of ideas on the old style board but 1 my kids loved for years was the flour footprints by the front door from Santa (depends on your flooring maybe) & making reindeer food - basic biscuits. Some years we had a picnic in the living room floor, then watched rubbish TV snuggled up with fleece blankets eating popcorn. Given the choice they'd rather do this now than the traditional Xmas meal with ex's family.

Don't be too hard on yourself about "stuff" - your f e c k less (MSE doesn't like this word :huh: )ex is showing himself to be the rubbish parent, not you. Keep strong.

Loanranger

Demir 2424
Please take no notice of DX2 and his patronising tone. If you get bullied on these forums then press the Abuse button and send the offending comment to the MSE team. Let them deal with it.
How are you doing this evening?

demir2424

I have been on a single tax credit claim since september 2009 and yes I get the single occupancy council tax reduction.
after these answers:
What the truth? I'm not going to give you loads of hugs and kisses because they won't pay for food, I'm telling how it really is, you know in the real world 10 months for the CSA is nothing.

If you want to get all b!tchy direct it towards your husband not people on an internet forum.
E2A: 10 months with no child support there are people out there who have had nothing for decades think on ,love

So you have told tax credits that your husband has left you? You have closed down the joint tax credit claim and applied as a single parent? Certainly doesn't sound like it especially if you aren't getting childcare costs paid for you via tax credits.

Have you applied for a reduction in your council tax bill since your husband left you? 25% single discount

There's a starting point for you, love.

Which part are you having difficulty reading, love.


I won't be using this forum again or asking advise from anybody again - thank you for the other helpful advise.

Loanranger

Don't let one member drive you away.
Lots of people here are interested in helping you either with advice or general words of kindness.
Stick around for a bit longer and others will be along soon.