Struggling mum of 2 - where do I turn for help??

demir2424

Dearest ex hubby wants to either stop helping me with mortgage repayments (we pay half each) and then pay maintenance for children and he knows I can't afford the mortgage on my own, or pay towards the mortgage and the boys get no maintenance.

My solicitor has advised me to sell the house - but in these times there will be no equity to fight over. And at the moment I can get no financial help elsewhere as this property is seen as an asset.

I just want to move on with my life and stop ex hubby calling around in the middle of the night and using this house when I am out. Him and his new girlfriend used my bed in this house a few weeks ago when me and the kids went to ireland for the weekend from my grandfather's 80th birthday.

demir2424

I currently received up until this month 654 tax credits, 138 child benefit and 460 from my job (total 1258 a month). I pay 568 a month childcare fees, 275 a month towards mortgage and 86 a month for council tax which I was struggling but managing on, but this month my tax credits (because of loss of baby element) has dropped to 254 a month which now leaves me 858 a month to live on and it's just not possible.

demir2424

I currently get no benefits and was told I was not entitled to anything

NickyBat

So am i correct in thinking all he is paying is £275 - half of the mortgage?

If my assumtion is right go to the CSA, i am sure (depending on his wages) you will get more than that in maintenance for 2 children but since you say in your earlier post he is living the playboy lifestyle i asume his salary isnt that bad.

demir2424

His salary is good, my case has been with the csa for a few months - he keeps avoiding them. He says he will only pay if we move out!!

Chased csa yesterday - they say they are now dealing direct with his personnel department. Yesterday I asked for a little help from him for christmas and he said " being poor is nothing to be ashamed of, I had nothing as a child, these times will teach the children the value of money" - so a 3 year old and a 1 year old will value money more!!!!
I know he hates me but I just wish he would stop punishing the kids.

[Deleted User]

I feel you should get more Chilcare Tax Credit? I earn £700 net each Month pay £16 per week childcare yet I get £111.00 per week, which in comparison don't seem right as 80% of your chilcare costs is £454, plus you have 2 kids and a lower wage.
If your Husband is not paying Maintenence and there is no real financial interest in the house for you I would tell him he needs to pay all the mortgage in leiu of maintenenence and I PERSONNALLY would stop paying, but that is my personal veiw :-)

demir2424

Me and the childs have nothing - no car, no money just these 4 walls at the moment. He comes here in his audi and complains that he has no money to give us - so angry!!

casperlarue

demir2424 wrote: »

I just want to move on with my life and stop ex hubby calling around in the middle of the night and using this house when I am out. Him and his new girlfriend used my bed in this house a few weeks ago when me and the kids went to ireland for the weekend from my grandfather's 80th birthday.

Thats revolting :mad:

Change the barrels on your door locks to stop him coming and going as he pleases. Would cost you about £5 each barrel, you don't have to change the whole lock.

Keep on at the CSA about your maintenance payments, also tax credits, surely you must be entitled to more help as a single parent with chilcare costs.

This must be a difficult time for you, do you have the support of family and friends right now?

NickyBat

Not to put too finer point on it he is talking bulls**t.
First of all ignore everything he is saying it seems to me he is trying to back you into a corner that suits him.
Keep on at the csa - let them know the financial difficulty you are in - since his wages are good csa payments should be a good source of income for you
i would also contact the tax credits and just check with them that they are holding all the correct info on you including your outgoings nursery fees etc, also your 3 year old should be due free sessions at the nursery. I know when my little one was at nursery my ctc and wtc almost covered my fees so the figure you have given above seems a bit low.

also once the csa have processed the claim, if he starts playing dirty and doesnt pay up every month, tell them you want an attachment to his earnings - this way it bypasses him and takes the money from his pay before he gets it.
Hope this helps

meagainsc

Hi sorry to hear your going through really bad time . Dont move out of the house though , contact gingerbread they can give you advice . If both names our on the home , he still has to pay half of it , and he still has to pay CSA . Have you legal separated from your husband ?

Go and see CAB they will chase up the CSA and if he keeps avoiding them then he will be taking to court by them . Think you might have to take him to court to get the money for the children , but he cant tell you to get out of the house . SO DONT MOVE until your able to support yourself