Struggling mum of 2 - where do I turn for help??

demir2424

Please can somebody advise me as to where to turn.


My husband left myself and my 2 small children 18 months ago (One son is 3 years old and one son has just turned 1 years old). I am curently working 18 a week and have been claiming working tax credit and child tax credit. My tax credits have been cut by 400 pounds this month as I have lost the baby element of my claim.


I have been asked to vacate my home by my ex-husband after christmas so I am currently looking for any where to rent that will accept children. I have asked my local council in the past for any help or benefits I could claim and was told that by earning 4300 a year I earned too much.


With Christmas around the corner I have no money for presents for my two little ones and no money this month for basics like nursery fees or council tax.

My ex-husband pays no maintenance, even though he has a very well paid job, I have chased the csa yesterday again.


He says he will pay maintenance when we move out of his home and that there is no shame in being poor as it will teach the children the value of money - a 1 year old and a 3 year old!!!!


My ex husband has a new partner and is living a playboy lifestyle whilst I struggle to feed and clothes his kids.


I start a new job in February (phlebotomy) which should result in better wages and more hours (about 25 a week) but then increased nursery costs as I have nobody to help me and my ex-husband would look after my eldest son 2 days a week before I went on maternity leave.


Is there anybody I can turn to for help over Christmas period or until my maintenance gets sorted - I am currently selling almost everything the boys don't need on ebay to get us through Christmas and have taking the boys to every free christmas party in my area for a small present from santa.

Any advise as to where to turn please as I feel like the worst mum in the world at the moment.

bazzaboo

You should be eligible for housin benefit once moved into rented accomodation. Put your claim in as soon as you move. You might get help with the deposit too from the council, go and ask again.
Call the csa every week till it gets sorted.
Do you receive the childcare element of tax credits?
Also get a solicitor, you might be able to get legal aid. If you 2 bought the house you have a right to a share from it. Or you can even stay in it until the youngest one is 18. But you will need to get a solicitor.
No point in trying to do it all nicely, it doesn't sound like your ex cares one bit about the children. I've been there, tried to be nice and amicable and my ex tried to screw me over again and again. Don't let it happen to you.
Your children are your first priority, make sure you get all what your entitled too.
For the time being you might be able to get a crisis loan?

Oldernotwiser

Do not move out of the marital home until you have taken legal advice - the fact that he considers it to be "his" is irrelevant.

demir2424

Thank you I have spoken to my local council yesterday but they said they will sent the paperwork out for me to fill again and reassess my case.
In the mean time struggle until I can find a place to rent that doesn't state 'no dss and no children'.

bazzaboo

demir2424 wrote: »

Thank you I have spoken to my local council yesterday but they said they will sent the paperwork out for me to fill again and reassess my case.
In the mean time struggle until I can find a place to rent that doesn't state 'no dss and no children'.

It can be difficult to find a place if your on benefits. You do have the advantage though that you work. Go to letting agents, explain your situation. Even if it says no dss, they can call landlords and ask them whether they would accept you. If your presentable and polite you have more chances. I've moved twice so far and in both cases they had to ask ll whether they would accept me on part hb. Mind you last time I had to pay 6mths upfront as I can't get a guarantor, whilst the first place accepted me with no security.
Don't forget private landlords in your local paper and the council might have a list of landlords that will accept dss.

bazzaboo

But please get legal advise on you marital home first. Many solicitors offer a first 30min free consultation.

knithappens

bazzaboo wrote: »

But please get legal advise on you marital home first. Many solicitors offer a first 30min free consultation.

also you may be entitled to legal aid, please dont move out because he says so

angelsmomma

I agree with the other posters, you need to get legal advice before you consider moving out of your home.

Have you done an entitled to to see if you are getting the correct benefits?

I really feel for you in this it is a horrible time

NickyBat

Please consult a solicitor NOW - most do a free first half hour and please DO NOT move out of the house, you have HIS children therefore it is irrelevant that he wants you to move.
The law will be in your favour.. you should be claiming child tax credits (which will include elements for nursery fees) and working tax credits.

Mojisola

As others have said - DON'T MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE!

The house is the children's home and you and they should be staying there, at least for the time being.

[Deleted User]

Are you having to pay the Mortgage all by yourself? I'm just thinking that if you are working, getting Tax Credits, child benefit etc you shouldn't really be that bad off, certainly be no better of on Housing Benefit unless you are paying a huge chunk of the Mortgage. If you are I would suggest you get some advice on that?