So annoyed at school...am I over-reacting??

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

What if it had been you going, your DD so excited, but she had to keep it secret in case it upset someone else's child?

I think this was meant to be a lovely subterfuge for both these other children and those not going, as they then 'know' someone visiting him. It's backfired.

Never mind, I'm sure someone's daughter will put them straight 'it's not true, you're lying, Santa doesn't do that, your mum paid for it!'.

Best to put up and shut up, I think, as busting some else's bubble could be seen as spiteful/jealousy.

Although I do feel sorry for those not going, perhaps a whispered 'don't tell x it's a present from her mum, as that would be mean' might be a more delicate way of dealing with it.

CRANKY40

The daft woman should probably have it pointed out to her that at least a third of the school know that Santa isn't real so know she was telling lies, which isn't really to be encouraged in adults. Or maybe you should contact the local paper and say isn't it fabulous that the school have agreed to subsidise trips to Lapland next year for star pupils.

I wouldn't complain, but I would be tempted to let her know that the children have been told that she wasn't telling the truth. She's ruined it for the children that are going really, because other parents will also have told their children the truth, and they will all know it's not the real Santa. The magical aspect of the holiday will be lost as all their little mates tell it how it really is. That is punishment enough methinks.

tiamai_d

I think it was innaproproate of the school and I would tell them so.

Jewel_2

We went to Lapland five years ago and although DD enjoyed it, it was tacky rubbish. It's just as dreamy in the snow we have at the moment, and the pressies you get from a local santa are much better. I would never go on such an organised trip again. A con.

globetraveller

Perhaps the other parents of the children going to Lapland had no idea this was going to happen in assembly. Sounds like you have a daft headteacher who didn't think of the consequences of what she said. I would definitely ask your daughter not to spoil it for the lucky children as its not their fault. However, probably some of the older kids have already said something. My opinion- you have done the best you can to make your daughter feel better. Like others have said, see if any other kids were upset and have a quiet word with the HT, explaining the results of her actions. I don't think you should take it further at this point. But if she ignores what you have said and then goes on to make a further fuss, then I wouldn't blame you for going further.
As for teachers not telling lies as some have said- let's get a grip here. Do we want to tell our pupils there isn't a santa or a tooth fairy?
I hope your daughter feels better in the morning!

timeou

Thanks all, she's a lot happier this morning. We had a long cuddle and talked up all the lovely things we'll be doing ourselves so she's going off to school a much happier bunny this morning!!

poppyscorner

Teenie_D wrote: »

Just a thought for you OP I have just shown my DD a video message from Santa and she loved it it is this one http://magicsanta.ca/ or you could use Portable North Pole, we used that one last year and it is fab too, but for some reason wouldn't work this time.

Thanks for that link Teenie Ds 2 (age 3) has just sat transfixed watching that bless him.

OP I too would bring this up with the head I would feel exactly the same as you do right now if that happenned to DS1 who is the same age as your DD.

xx

liberty6201

I can understand why you are angry and upset - i would be too but i do think it is pure insensitiveness on the part of lots of people involved (i could be guilty for this as i saved and saved to take my son to Disneyland Paris last March for his birthday. he had had a pretty shocking year as his Dad is a complete idiot who lets him down constantly, he'd been in hospital and so had i so he was worried about me, etc etc. etc. i thought it would be lovely to take him to Disney but was trying to make it really special for him so i wrote him a letter from Mickey Mouse inviting him to come and stay. he took it into school and i never thought anything of it. He showed it in class but not assembly and i have to admit i was more worried that someone would turn around and tell him obv Mickey didn't send it bc its a man in a costume (which he knows and mentions at every opportunity but seems to think somewhere there really is an actual Mickey Mouse!) If he had been going to Lapland (and this is something i am saving for but have been for a few years now and not getting all that much closer! ) and had done the same (although then my intention is just not to tell him until we are on the plane ) i would be heartbroken and so would my son if someone had gone in and said to him that it wasn't even the real Santa and he was only going bc Mummy ad paid for him. I don't know much about the families but if they have saved and saved they are naturally excited and although it is bragging they prob don't see it like that. having said that you have certainly made me think twice about doing something like that again!! With regards to the teachers encouraging lying - isn't this something we all encourage at Xmas time with little ones anyway? I would be horrified if my son's teacher turned around and told him Santa isn't real! I know my son has been on the other side of the situation (albeit lesser) when he has not passed a sports award or got a certificate but i have just tried to make it up to him in other ways and treated him the way that would cheer him up. I hope your daughter feels better and you were able to explain to her that Santa doesn't choose children like this but i do hope the other children had a good time on their trip too.

pupsicola

You are not over-reacting at all. It was a very insensitive thing for the school to do. How exactly did they think it would make the majority of the kids at school feel.

Would have served them right if one of the little kids had stood up and said "There is no such thing as Santa so how does that work".

I work in a school with kids your daughters age and its surprising how many of them dont fall for it anymore. Old before their time:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Fang_3

timeou wrote: »

Thanks for your replies. I did actually tell DD that it is a HOLIDAY and the parents have paid for the trip and although they will be seeing Santa, he didn't actually invite them. No doubt she probably went back to school and said this which may have burst the bubble of the kids who are going but tough, i'm not having my daughter think she's worth any less of them.

I'll quietly sound out 1 or 2 of the other parents and next time I see the head I'll have a quiet word about how upset DD was xx

Thanks x

So you decided that you'd potentially ruin an experience for some children because you can't afford to give your daughter the same?

Frankly I think you're worse than the others.