So annoyed at school...am I over-reacting??

Ida_Notion

I'd be annoyed too and although I don't know small village life and couldn't say for certain unless I'd actually been anywhere else other than in my own big city shoes, I'm fairly sure that I'd say something. I'm currently pretty annoyed at my own daughter's junior school for making the kids do outdoor PE in shorts and t-shirts in the current weather while the teachers stood around watching in coats and woolies, but my daughter was already over it when she told me about it. Who knows how long your daughter and the other kids present in the assembly who weren't among the 'chosen few' could be harbouring feelings of inadequacy as a result of it, unnecessary feelings that their best just isn't good enough? It's little incidents like this that can stay with us for life. Even when the kids are older and realise that it was all about money, it does not send out the best of messages regarding how they should value themselves.

If at best all that the headteacher was guilty of was thoughtlessness, she needs to be told so that she'll think first next time before damaging other children's self-esteem. I really feel for your daughter too. I'd be furious if the same thing happened to one of mine.

money_saving_diva

How old is your daughter?

timeou

Thanks for your replies. I did actually tell DD that it is a HOLIDAY and the parents have paid for the trip and although they will be seeing Santa, he didn't actually invite them. No doubt she probably went back to school and said this which may have burst the bubble of the kids who are going but tough, i'm not having my daughter think she's worth any less of them.

I'll quietly sound out 1 or 2 of the other parents and next time I see the head I'll have a quiet word about how upset DD was xx

Thanks x

timeou

DD is nearly 8. This was done in front of the whole school, reception up to yr 7. DS is in the same school and is 10. he confirmed what was said. Bless him, he said he didn't believe it and 'smelt a rat' lol.

DD is totally wrapped up in the magic of Santa tho, her little face when she said 'Maybe next year I'll get chosen' almost broke my heart...

Tish_P

I'd have a word with the Head as well - in writing, so you can take time over wording it right. Don't rage, but do let them know how much their words hurt your daughter (and probably many others) so they can make amends.

Teenie_D

SugarSpun wrote: »

make a free video from Santa - I'd probably also engineer a letter from Santa just for her saying he knows she felt sad and he hopes she'll feel better on Christmas Day after he's left her his special surprises.

Just a thought for you OP I have just shown my DD a video message from Santa and she loved it it is this one http://magicsanta.ca/ or you could use Portable North Pole, we used that one last year and it is fab too, but for some reason wouldn't work this time.

Gingham_Ribbon

I'd tell her that the grown-ups had bought the tickets, it had nothing to do with Santa and Santa doesn't give away holidays to children as prizes for being good in school.

Then I'd tell them that the grown-ups had said it to try to make their own children feel really special and, in doing so they forgot to think about all the children who would be upset to think that Santa felt they hadn't tried hard enough to get on the trip. It was cruel but it was thoughtless and that she needn't feel upset about it as it wasn't on purpose.

Then I'd be inclined to ask the adults not to use school in that way again, but you may find it's just not worth it!

Moneybot

I don't think you are over reacting on the other hand it might be better to stop and think before taking any action. What would you gain by complaining? What would you lose by saying nothing?

BTW you are lucky that your daughter still believes in Santa mine were told he wasn't real in year 2.

meritaten

awww - poor kids! how demoralising for them! exactly the opposite of what the head teacher probably intended! I would HAVE to tell her so! in as nice a way as possible of course, and ask how she intends to give the REST of the kids a morale boost?

sassyblue

I think it's crass and you're not over-reacting it could (and should) have been handled better, can't believe they said these children were 'special' and 'chosen' which like your daughter says begs the question 'is she special? '

Poor little kids!