Too much spent on children at Christmas

npsmama

OK maybe I'm old fashioned but DH and I felt nauseous to see that our nephews and nieces (all younger than 5) had well over £250 EACH worth of presents last year and the year before last.

The 'family rules' dictate that each member of the family should spend £15 on presents and these presents must be from a list that each person compiles. Up to now we've always gone along with this for the sake of family peace.

A bit of background, BIL earns MUCH more than we do. They buy their kids several presents each for Christmas/birthdays etc. So much so that they spread the gift opening over several days so it isn't all on the same day. They compile their kids' Christmas lists.

Last year they give DS some clothes (not an item on his list) that didn't suit so I took them back to the shop to exchange. I burst out laughing when the lady told me the clothes had been bought as a set in the July sale for...wait for it...£3.75!!!

Anyway, I digress.

Would it be terribly rude and unwise of me to ignore the Christmas lists and get them something else? I was thinking of making some fabric covered noteboards covered in Barbie, Tigger and Thomas fabrics for their rooms.

victory

I really think gratitutde has left the building! I absolutely insist my kids appreciate the fact that someone has taken time and trouble over their gifts and thought about them enough to wrap it up, post it etc.
Whatever the kids get (there is no list in our family) should be welcomed and gratitude shown.
If you are going to make some fabric noteboards you have not only spent time on them but love, patience, care and all the very good things that go into giving a heart felt present.
Please ignore the xmas lists and do what comes from your heart and save money so that you and yours also benefit, a fantastic solution all round I say.xxx

growingafamily

I agree with you wholeheartedly - my SIL hands her kids a pile of catalogs and a pen and paper - she then buys the lot (and she has to nearly kill herself to pay for it all), a few weeks later most of the stuff is lying in a corner.
It's sad that it gets all rules and regulations even in families.
At the end of the day the gifts are for the kids not mum & dad, the noteboards sound LOVELY, something you can't buy is great for those who get bought a ton of pressies.
I definately don't think it's rude - much more thoughtful actually.
If it was me I would do the noteboards !!!
(they sound fab and would love to see a pic of them done if this is what you decide)

icklejulez

I would love such a thoughtfull present. After all you are stil paying for the materials its not like you havent spent the money. Stick some family photo's on it too of them and their cousins so they enjoy it more too! Could even add a HM calender or notepad on too. Teach them to get organised.

MrsTinks

My mum always asks me for my wishlist and even as a kid I used to put "pony, new bike, computer" and so on. BUT I knew darned well I'd never get them (usually I never got ANY of them ) How can you teach kids the true value of things if you just give give give!?! I would give something that YOU want to give - If you want to make and give these boards then I think that's wonderful! Honestly I couldn't give a HOOT about what lists people gave me other than maybe for ideas if I was really stuck... But then I am quite a stubborn hag

ziggy2004

i would definately go with the HM present!!! It is not like they can say anything about it not being on the list as they got your ds something that was not on his list rules no longer apply and the kids will appreciate whatever they get.
X Anne

kenshaz

I believe that you do not harm children by spoiling them ,but you create objectionable ungrateful children ,who grow up fine.Plenty of love is what they really need ,material objects mean nothing and are forgotten easily.

npsmama

Wow!
I'm so amazed at your support!! :j
I thought I was an old-fashioned meany.

For the record, our 2nd Christmas dilemma is that while the cousins will have piles of presents DS will 'only' have a few. Luckily DS will be 17months so to little to understand. We refuse to play the 'keeping up with the in-laws' though so it's just the way things are going to be.

Slightly off topic but we were late for a family do last week mainly due to DS screaming in the carseat. FIL said, 'why don't you get him an in-car DVD player? BIL has one for each of his children - works like a charm,'. 'When I said it might be a bit out of our price range he said 'they're only a couple of hundred EACH'.
Even without the expense, DH and I don't feel comfortable with the idea of DS having his private cinema in the car. But then again, we're the hippie weirdoes of the family...most of our clothes and toys are from charity shops. Ssshhh, don't tell my ILs!

Right, where's my tape measure for those noticeboards...

this_is_it

The note boards sound like a lovely idea and something my own children would love. When my oldest was youger oh and me painted an old bathroom cabinate ,covered it in sticky stars and put some disney figures on top she loved it and is 14 now and uses it to put her make up and stuff in.As for my kids my mum always buys them clothes, then other relatives ask me for ideas but i try and give them ideas between £5-£10 as having 4 children i wouldnt expect them to spend more as its the thought not the cost that matters as i would rather them have something which cost less that i know they would use then something £20 thats just sits in the corner gathering dust.
As for the lists when i was little my mum was always stung by her sil who would hand over a list usually £10 or more and in return we would recieve a pen or a packet of chalks or something we were to old or young for in fact as we got older it used to become a tradtion to see how bad my aunties presents could get and she was much better off then us too.

Chocmonster7

npsmama wrote:

Would it be terribly rude and unwise of me to ignore the Christmas lists and get them something else? I was thinking of making some fabric covered noteboards covered in Barbie, Tigger and Thomas fabrics for their rooms.

They sound great and I bet they will be around long after the latest fad has faded away from memory.

Trishh_2

growingafamily wrote:

It's sad that it gets all rules and regulations even in families.
At the end of the day the gifts are for the kids, not mum & dad

I couldn't agree more with this part.