Too much spent on children at Christmas

jutecity

I couldn't agree more with everyone's sentiments. I do enjoy buying presents for people, trying to get something they will really like, not just the most expensive gift with no thought. I personally would be happy with something I would really get pleasure out of like home made sweets, pot pourri, a book token, a nice bar of soap: things I would actually use, I think most of us probably have more than we need and at the end of the day it's all just STUFF! My friend doesn't send Christmas cards but makes jars of lovely chutney, sun-dried tomatoes etc or pot-pourri and I really like that. It's sad that people feel pressured to buy expensive presents, can you imagine how many people will get heavily into debt for Christmas. I also feel terribly sorry for all those people who have lost their hard-earned money in the Farepak collapse and will have seen their plans for Christmas disappear.

jillie1974

its mad the way things have changed. i never had much as a child but i was always happy with what i got and never felt hard doen by that i didnt have a tv in my room etc but i must admit now the time has come to start my own family i am starting to wonder... can i ever afford to have kids? it all seems to be about money now and showing off how much you spoil them etc i can remember my niece's 1st b-day 5 years ago and she got shedloads of pressies! she wouldnt have even known what was goign on! and now she is 6 even nmore stuff for her b-day and xmas..sorry to moan but i really gets me down. my OH says not to worry that you dont need to spend loads of money but i always wanted my kids to have the things i never did...

bobbadog

Seems madness to me, getting an incar DVD player just to shut the kids up - stick to your guns my love, I think you're doing everything just right. The noticeboards sound a grand idea too.

smileysaver

In our family, we don't have wishlists or anything like that, and anything we are bought by other members of the family, we were always brought up to be extremely appreciative of it, due to the time and trouble taken.
However, we do make a big thing of Christmas, and I'm sure my parents spend a good £200 pounds on all three children, and I know that might sound extravagant, but to be honest, we don't get treats during the year all that much, and stuff that we are bought are usually essentials, with the odd luxury. I know not everyone can afford that amount of money, but this is the one time of year when you can treat the ones you love to something they have wanted for ages, or something they need, but can't afford to buy themselves. It is an expensive time of year, but it's also a magical time of year, when I spend precious time with my family.
Life's too short for some things... and I think making Xmas that little bit special for kids, and grown ups can't do much harm, especially if they appreciate what it means.

npsmama

Well, unfortunately DH is chickening out and didn't even let me finish my sentence about not adhering to The List.

So it looks like I'll be searching high and low for playmobil and the lastest Barbie gadget again this year. Oh well, hopefully I can buy them through Quidco!

ETA: I'm still going to make a fabirc board - too much fun to miss out on making!

tifnstav

Our family (my mum and her brothers) made a pact years ago (in the mid eighties) that they wouldn't buy for nieces and nephews for Christmas and it would just be a card on birthdays and a cheque (about £10ish except for major birthdays like an 18th) - instead they all decided to install seatbelts in their cars (it wasn't the law at the time and cost quite a bit to do)!

Everyone has totally stuck to this rule for 20 years and we much prefer to see everyone on Christmas morning to wish each other the best, far more than getting presents from them that you really don't need.

As families get bigger and you end up with steps and halves of every relative going it can get mental! I have 16 cousins and my parents would have to scrimp all year to get them each a gift, nevermind if all us cousins got each other one too!

I think your brother is being downright rude to give a list complied by an adult for what their kids might want!
I'd be really annoyed if I were you, so go on and do your homemade gorgeous things instead! I'm sure that they'll really appreciate the effort you've put in to personalising them.

madauri

I am very lucky with my nephew.
He's the only child in our reduced family, so we all dote on him. His other aunt has no kids and earns well so she always buys him the expensive fashionable toys and gives him lots of money (that go direct to his current account - he's by far the wealthiest of all the family, but is not allowed to spend his Christmas money just because).
His parents buy him what he wants, sometimes expensive things, but not always, nor do buy him everything he asks for. They try to keep his feet on the ground and balance between making him materialistically happy and teaching him about economics and other stuff parents are supposed to do.
His grandma buys him what she can, she spends the whole years searching for bargains, since she has little money to spare, so it is a mixture of practical things and cheap things and interesting alternative stuff. He is very grateful, always likes everything, and appreciates having some stuff that isn't too expensive to touch it or too difficult to manage - he's a child, he wants to play.
I buy him an assortment of what I can; sometimes I can spend more, sometimes not. What I keep in mind is to find things that he's likely to enjoy, and then I decide whether it is worth to buy it. This bd I bought him a nice watch and he was delighted. Four years ago I was totally skint and could only buy him a couple of little bits... one was a spinning wheel with interchangeable faces that cost me very cheap. Not only he loved it, it happened to be the top of fashion at his school at the moment and he was delighted with it. He had so much fun showing it to his friends as playing with it!

Princessa_2

If your hubby isn't happy about what you give them, suggest he does the shopping this year. I'd still go ahead and make the notice boards!

HopeElizzy

npsmama wrote:

For the record, our 2nd Christmas dilemma is that while the cousins will have piles of presents DS will 'only' have a few. Luckily DS will be 17months so to little to understand. We refuse to play the 'keeping up with the in-laws' though so it's just the way things are going to be.

Do you have to spend the day with them? Sorry, if that sounds a little rude but could you say that you'll come over for christmas dinner but will be spending the morning together as a family so avoiding the present frenzy at the IL's?
The only reason I say this is that we've had a similar problem where my IL's have more money to spend than my parents. I ask for specific presents for my children in the hope that they won't spend too much but they like buying surprises. :wall: I find this quite frustrating as their surprises are often something the littlies don't need or want and sit unused until I freecycle them or charity shop them.

jpwhittle

i like the sound of the notice boards theyd be great for a childs room , but, on the other hand ithout sounding horrible, hope it doesnt, surely its down to the childrens parents what they buy them for christmas, although i do think £3.50 is mean i bought big wine glasses that hold half a bottle from the pound shop and took up a wine offer for my aunties and uncles so cant really say much i think that all only came to a fiver. iv gone ott with my little boy this year but i know not as bad as my auntie will have. last year she spent about £500 on both her kids and cos she didnt know what to get the youngest who is 8 with learning disabilities she got her a tv a dvd something else expensive and an in car dvd player. she didnt play with any of it just the tweenies set.