Too much spent on children at Christmas

Clowance

What you spend on your kids depends a lot on how many gifts the rest of the family gives them. If you have a large generous family then spend less on yours (you spend more on the rest of the family anyway, dont kill yourself). My dh family dont do gifts, even for kids, so we spend about £120 per kid on ours. This is mostly their whole allotment of presents. (Upside is, we dont have to buy for anyone else, and we get what they really want).
Even so, this is a bit much I think, but they are getting older and the presents tend to cost more.
The other source of waste at Christmas is the food, of course. Pare it down to what you Really eat, and just buy enough for the two or three festive days. No one wants turkey 7 days running, get a smaller one (perhaps better quality?) or like us, a big chicken (we dont like turkey) and have it with all the trimmings.

never_enough

Your post made me smile... I've just been through all this with my SIL & BIL who are each on £60K plus bonuses (& don't we know it...:rolleyes: !!) The children are very spoilt & never even say thank-you (we don't spend the day together), never mind write a letter to us. My mothers view on this has always been no thank-you letter, no further presents! I thought that was a bit harsh years ago, but am starting to agree with her. As we often post things we never know if they've even arrived. I can't stand my BIL, he's obsessed by money. I think he's pathetic (but that's another story). Sadly the kids have picked up on this. I was recently asked for a set of lego that costs £60! :eek: I usually spend around £15/20 on them, so that was a nonstarter. I just find it rather horrid to be presented with a list, & have to choose from it, especially as they're often towards the higher end of my price range.
It's impossible to find something for SIL or BIL from their list, nothing under £40/50. Is it just me or is that *very* rude? Whatever I've bought has never gone down well, whatever it is. I'd like to stop buying presents for them but my OH doesn't want to cause any hassle (although he agrees with me). My sister stopped buying for each other (& husbands) a few years ago. Instead we decided to spend a day together, or get together for a meal. It's really nice. Not that I want to spend any extra time with BIL & SIL !! Oh what a ramble & moan...:o After all that I just want to say that I would love your pinboard...(in fact I'm desperate for one!!) & I would've loved one as a kid. In fact my mum did a sort of similar thing, made a calendar (before computers!) with pics & photos on special days, holiday & friends snaps on each day. I loved it.

madauri

That thing about the lists is, in my opinion being very conveniently manipulated. Lists should be a guide, something to give you ideas and to give you a panorama of what sort of things they need/want/wish.
I sometimes ask my family what they want. If I can afford it, I may go and buy it. And I'll do it for love, not for obligation.
The day somebody gives me a list and tells me I *must* buy them that... let them sit down and wait, because they're getting nothing, listed or not.

fififoofoo

I have a different dilemna. I dont want to spoil my daughter, but everyone else does! They will just bombard her with stuff, and we feel really mean in just buying her a couple of small things. Out of all our family we probably have the most amount of spare cash, but the rest of the family will all insist on spending £30 or more on a gift for her. I can afford to do the same for their children, but I dont really want to, but feel obliged to as they have spent so much on us.I feel guilty because when they ask what I've bought my own daughter it seems really mean! In actual fact there is nothing left to buy her. I get asked all the time - what does she want, what does she want? and I have to think of something under pressure! I really want to ask to put a limit on spending, but don't want to sound mean or offend! Getting a couple of hundred pounds in presents all in one go is too much. I am just mean?

Coupon-mad

I'm wondering whether I should be posting this, but when my kids have wanted a fairly expensive item (in my case over £20 is a bit much) I have been known to buy it in December from a shop that has a good after-xmas returns policy. Keep the receipt like gold-dust.

Somehow I then end up re-buying the same item in the new year sales..........anyone get my drift? (and no you don't return your kids xmas pressies).

There, said it now, can't post any more you can work it out and it's legal (but perhaps not within the spirit of the shop's returns policy, hence my reluctance to spell it out).

jackieb

My sister and brother decided a few years ago that we wouldn't buy each others children any Christmas presents. They get enough anyway. We do buy for birthdays however. I always feel terribly guilty as I have 4 children and they always get about £20 each, either in cash or a gift. I spend about the same on my nephews and I don't begrudge them. My sister has 2 boys and my brother has 2 boys, so they're spending about £80 a year on gifts for my 4 and I 'only' spend about £40 on theirs.

There's no way i'd spend £40 on each of their gifts so that we'd have spent the same (and they wouldn't want me to) but I can't help feeling guilty for having twice the amount of children that they do.

tee_pee_2

In response to the first post, you have every right to digress from the list rule and the £15 rule as you BIL bought cheap tat. And if he is rude enough to pass comments on your christmas gifts, politely point out to him that you thought that the rule had been changed seeing as he paid £3.75 for your childs present.

Rules/guidelines are there so everyone gets equal gifts, not so some can scew you over.

PS At least you know why they are rich, they literally are " too tight to spend christmas"

loopylass30

I agree with clowance's post, I have no family so my 2 boys only receive presents from me there for i feel like i have 2 make up for the fact they dont get anything from any 1 else, there dad sometimes gets them 2 small presents if he can be bothered so really xmas is all down to me, but i guess with me not having to buy for any 1 other than my boys i do save some money but i do go over the top every year and i know i do, but i think that is something to do with the fact i didnt usually get presents my self as a child as my mum couldnt afford. My boys both know i work hard to give them what they have and they do value things, infact all my youngest son (hes 9) has written on his xmas list this year is some artemis fouls books, and some felt tip pens.

Swan_2

jackieb wrote:

but I can't help feeling guilty for having twice the amount of children that they do.

lmao, you should be ashamed of yourself

jackieb

Swan wrote:

lmao, you should be ashamed of yourself