Too much spent on children at Christmas

buxtonrabbitgreen

I just keep telling all my very large family that I'm not doing requests this year. Thsi is my first mse christmas and I have been working on it since June, (instead of from 10th Dec) after my last child's birthday. My 10 year old niece asked me to buy her a video camera this week and got the I'm not doing requests and even if I was you would have no chance. I have thanks to grabbit and freebies got quite a lot of presents already.

earthmother

Princessa wrote:

If your hubby isn't happy about what you give them, suggest he does the shopping this year. I'd still go ahead and make the notice boards!

I was going to say the same - it's amazing what the threat of Christmas shopping can do to a man's opinion, lol


We're lucky in that the whole family is in the same financial boat here, and we all seem to spend around the same on the kids, so there's no major problems if the kids get together with 'he got, she got' comments.

My three (5.5, 3 and 7.5months) are/will be bought up the same way I and my sister were. We put a christmas list together, but we knew we would never get a fraction of the list - it was, as another poster has said, a wish list. It helped give the family an idea of what we'd like, and then they got what they felt was appropriate. We always had something we liked - I don't recall a year I was disappointed with my presents, and the years I remember most are the ones with the surprises (like one year finding a scooter in the front room)

This is the first year any requests have been made, so the boys have already been told - by all means make a list (we're doing it as a craft project after bonfire night - making collages from the Christmas catalogues) - but be aware that Santa can only fit one big toy on his sleigh for each child - little toys will come from Grandma etc, so you need to have plenty of ideas, but you won't get everything. They're accepting it, and so long as we stick to it in future years, I can't see any problems arising.




To the poster who wasn't sure if they could afford children - that's up to you - if you bring them up expecting everything, then no, like many others, you won't be able to afford them. If however you bring them up valuing things and appreciating the difference between 'want' and 'get' then you'll do fine.

karren

Go to woolworths or Boots get the 3 for 2 offer and give them the free one that way hubby is pleased and you will have got one over them!!! And make sure you do a list (I would never dream of giving a list out ) and she sould as tight as anything!

dolly_day_dream

My experience is that the very best gift you can give anyone is your time and attention. No amount of money in the world can replace that.

I asked my class (7/8yr olds) if they could choose between getting whatever gift they wanted and having mum and dad play a game with them which would they choose? The majority (not all:o ) chose playing the game.

People seem to have confused the amount of money spent with the regard in which we hold each other.

My own children have had a less than affluent upbringing (now aged 27, 26 and 19) and I am soo proud of them. We spend time on each other rather than lots of money. We have family traditions for Christmas which they treasure. They have always been keen to share our Christmases with others so they obviously don't feel that they have suffered too much.

Anyone who would rather you spend money beyond your means on presents for themselves/their child has obviously totally forgotten the spirit of the season. Some people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

RHYSDAD

I can believe that people now write lists and you are obliged to pick something from it. There doesn't seem to be any appreciation any more. My Sister insists that we give our niece money instead of a gift so that SHE can go out to choose the nieces gift or invest in her CTF! Sister has even returned gifts, quite clearly disgusted, to my Brother and his wife and to my Grandma without any remorse. Both my Brother and my Nan will now not bother, they say, which means little one misses out
If she tried that on with me she would be met with some choice words i can tell you. I am ashamed sometimes that she is my sister.
But hey, you can't choose families can you?

I think that you should go with a present that you feel is ok by you!!

rchddap1

Lists can be helpful to provide a bit of guidance, but I never stick to them. Bought my nephews xmas pressie a few months ago. Too much of a bargain to resist. However, I can guarantee that it won't be on any 'list'.

In our family lists are used as a guide only. It is not expected that people stick to them, or that they spend £x on each person. It is the thought that counts and not the amount spent. In fact some people would be extremely surprised if they found out how much I had spent on them this year.

It is far more important to spend time with your family than to compare gifts given or received.

kerryallc71

i got a phone call off my younger sister the other week. saying about a game for her three children , she has got all of there presents. anyway she said about this pirahna pannic game, that her children wanted it of us for christmas. they asked for it themselves. she does it almost every year. last year though i had been out and bought there presents before hand. also i got my mum her xmas present , and as ungrateful as she is said i wanted a jumper , im never allowed to choose my own presents without anyone moaning. my mum more so. they are all so ungrateful. my sister who i was talking about before has already bought my daughters 1st doll , which is my job me being her mum and all. ive been and got my daughter her first doll . much nicer than hers. why do some familys like to take over and think they know everything at xmas and birthdays. im the same the thought counts. but on the 1st doll thing i just dont agree. when it was my other daughters 1st birthday i bought her her 1st doll.
im sure my sister said when her children were either watching the television or reading a magazine with this pirahna pannic game inside it, the kids asked for it and my sister most likely said , i will ask auntie kerry for that for you all for xmas i had added there xmas presents at the time to the boots.com website , 3 for 2 toys. but i thought my choice of presents were lots better than that pirahna pannic.

sorry to go on , but i never ask or tell people what to buy my children for xmas or birthdays and i think its dam right rude and cheeky when people ask me to get such and such for there children , like some of you say you cant choose for family , i just wish i could .

thankyou . sorry for the long rant.

SuperSaverSue_2

I would love someone to make something so personal for my daughter, go with the noticeboards, they sound lovely.

Wish you were in my family!

Sue

Benmollymoo

I also think the noticeboards sound lovely. My Kids (and me!) would be thrilled to see something that was not only useful and very attractive on Christmas day, but that somebody had spent time making as well. I feel that if you think hard about that person, what they like and spend some time getting it/making it then it doesn't have to cost a fortune to be a special gift - and home made gifts are always extra special.

I can understand people being insulted by lists - but I do make one - usually suggestions like books, story CD's, board games - not that it helps as my IL's are the only ones who don't tell us what they are getting! So last year we had bought my son (as the one big present from us - Santa does the stockings) a scalextric set - they turn up on Christmas day with another set!

We have also asked our godsons' parents for suggestions as for example I have no idea what 10 year old boys are currently into!

cannyscot_2

npsmama


My in laws put in rules when I had had my dd by IVF, hubby was redundant, and we were in debt for the IVF money. Despite being born just before xmas ,ill etc I bought what was on their list.-a few years later I have learnt my lesson-now I take great joy in finding the best bargain i can-sometimes put together sometimes recycled ,sometimes charity shop-I don't tell my DH the source of the gift ! or the cost.