4 Weeks pregnant can I survive

Nicifer_noonoo

I can't advise you on what's best for you, but I didn't want to just read and run.

I just wanted to post this...it's a link to a thread I wrote way back in 2007 when I found myself in a similar situation, and the responses helped me massively

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/580593=

abby1234519

Thank you all for your replies. Yes of course I am seeking advice from a "proper source" but I'd never poopoo talking to people on here. At the end of the day your opinons won't influence my decision but it is nice to see how everyone considers this type of situation.

I think I do really want this child, I am worried that its a selfish desire

hitchins

abby1234519 wrote: »

Thank you all for your replies. Yes of course I am seeking advice from a "proper source" but I'd never poopoo talking to people on here. At the end of the day your opinons won't influence my decision but it is nice to see how everyone considers this type of situation.

I think I do really want this child, I am worried that its a selfish desire

Oh it's not a "selfish desire" it's natural. Again, best of luck on whichever way you go. x

brians_daughter

abby1234519 wrote: »

I think I do really want this child, I am worried that its a selfish desire

Then I feel that you have almost reached your desicion... its not selfish in any way shape or form.... women (or the majority of them) have an in built maternal instinct, and i think that if anyone was to say you are being selfish needs to take a long hard look at themselves.

Torry_Quine

abby1234519 wrote: »

Thank you all for your replies. Yes of course I am seeking advice from a "proper source" but I'd never poopoo talking to people on here. At the end of the day your opinons won't influence my decision but it is nice to see how everyone considers this type of situation.

I think I do really want this child, I am worried that its a selfish desire

You aren't being at all selfish, only you can make the decision and only you know yourself. Wishing you much wisdom as you make this difficult decision.

ceridwen

My understanding of the word "selfish" is that a decision that is taken without taking into account the effect on other people concerned comes under that definition.

Other people may have a different dictionary of course...

HariboJunkie

abby1234519 wrote: »

Thank you all for your replies. Yes of course I am seeking advice from a "proper source" but I'd never poopoo talking to people on here. At the end of the day your opinons won't influence my decision but it is nice to see how everyone considers this type of situation.

I think I do really want this child, I am worried that its a selfish desire

I'm really glad you're seeking advice elsewhere as some of the advice on here will definitely be laced with thinly veiled prejudices.;)

I really don't think you are being selfish to want this baby. I am not sure why anyone would call you selfish for having a child as long as you are prepared to be responsible about it and provide for it. In fact I'm sure that pro lifers would argue that abortion is a selfish act (neither are my opinion by the way, just pointing out something for a bit of balance). I am sure you will sort things out with your life to ensure you are the best mum you can be.

Good luck. x

abby1234519

I've had a look at the money aspect, I think being a student parent I could get around £420 a week (including my student finance) as well as then the childcare grant. So it looks to be feasible. Its just the emotional aspect. And obviously I'd have to prepare months in advance. If I was due beginning of august, well my tenancy here runs out in July. I'd have to see if I could find somwhere to start living in June and hope my landlord here lets me off a month...he might do...
Argh

Babies are way expensive

Indie_Kid

abby1234519 wrote: »

I've had a look at the money aspect, I think being a student parent I could get around £420 a week (including my student finance) as well as then the childcare grant. So it looks to be feasible. Its just the emotional aspect. And obviously I'd have to prepare months in advance. If I was due beginning of august, well my tenancy here runs out in July. I'd have to see if I could find somwhere to start living in June and hope my landlord here lets me off a month...he might do...
Argh

Babies are way expensive

Can you renew your contract with your landlord? Assuming there's enough room for you & the baby.

Blue_Monkey

abby1234519 wrote: »

I think I do really want this child, I am worried that its a selfish desire

It is entirely natural to want children - that's what we're put here to do. If you go want the child just because you feel like rising to the challenge, or because you're proving a point, or because you're lonely or because you like a drama, or because you've always wanted kids is just not the right reason IMHO. Wanting to provide the very best start in life for another person is the right reason and from what you've said on here, all the signs point to this being a far from ideal situation.

I'm just not sure I understand why you would choose that option? You're so young and have many many years ahead of you when you can create a 'better/more stable' life for you and your as-yet-unborn children. What about the lack of paternal involvement? How do you feel when you think about the possibility that your child may never know its real dad or have a decent relationship with him? Had the father even had a say in all this?

Don't let the situation dictate how you feel. Just because you're pregnant you don't have to have a baby (obvious I know) but I guess what I'm trying to say is that you need to take control of your future. Yes people cope/manage/get by, but I'd rather choose/plan/build personally.

This isn't about whether you believe in abortion or life. And it's not just about what you want. It's about what you can provide emotionally, physcially, financially, everything.