4 Weeks pregnant can I survive

poet123

Do try and talk to your family, they will help, nost people come up trumps when the chips are down. Good luck xx

dmg24

Loanranger wrote: »

Talk to the people at the Brook Advisory Service
http://www.brook.org.uk/index.php

Agreed - I can't believe people would take advice on life or death decisions from an internet forum.

bucketshop

dmg24 wrote: »

Agreed - I can't believe people would take advice on life or death decisions from an internet forum.

There's no need to be rude. She obviously wanted some advice from people who've been in similar situations.

chazsucks

heya hun! i know it's hard to talk to parents but I got pregnant at 18 and had my son when i was 19. I quit college to look after him and my dad let me move in with him and pay him a very cheap rent so that i could stay at home and look after my son. I then did the same as i was going to do at college but found a way to do it distance learning, and have now *finally* nearly completed my course.

At 20 I got pregnant again (planned) and AGAIN moved back into my dads house so that I could afford to stay at home and look after this second baby.

I am 21 and due in 8 weeks now, and am still living with my dad and am planning to start university next september (currently going to interviews, which is fun 7months pregnant hehe)

Errrrr sorry got a bit distracted with replying but basically I could NOT have done it without my parents i was terrified of telling them, and they were really mad at first, but so happy to have a little grandbaby! when they calmed down they gave me 100% support and though they don't look after him or anything (both disabled) they give me more emotional support than i could ever have imagined, and my dad helped me out by giving me somewhere to live i could afford!

second point you can study with little kiddies! you can always take a year out if you don't want the baby to be so small when your at uni and most universities and the government can help you with childcare.

If you go to CAB and find out what help you would get if you were to keep the baby...

then if that still sounds too hard / unimaginable etc then think about other things such as adoption.

I know it's extremely hard but we had to think about adoption seriously before we realised how we actually WANTED our baby and loved it already and how we could be fabulous parents, no matter what our age

Good luck xxxxxxxxx

ceridwen

Well - I think you have answered your own question - your signature says you have debt (amount unknown) and that you owe over £1,000 rent. Your post says you are still studying and that you have health problems anyway.

To me - that spells out what the answer is to this.

....and I know thats probably not what you want to hear...

The phrase "kinda anti abortion" and "brought up like this" suggests that that is your parents opinion - rather than your own. What is YOUR opinion? You are the one who would have to pay for the child/bring it up/wonder how to pay the debt and rent you owe if you went ahead/etc...

So the first questions are:
- What does the father want?
- Are you in a stable relationship with the father?
- How much do you owe in total - both the rent and the other unspecified debt? (the obligations to the creditors won't go away after all....)

Plans_all_plans

Hi OP

I disagree with ceridwen's view on the situation. I think you answered your own question when you said you "know you'll probably regret it if you had an abortion". At the end of the day the debt situation is certainly something to consider, but at the end of the day it is ONLY money. We live in a society where you wont starve or become homeless in your situation.

If you feel you mentally wont be able to cope with an abortion or having a child then adoption is certainly an option.

brians_daughter

abby1234519 wrote: »

Hullo, been a while since I've been here but seeing as talking to my parents is basically a no go area I'm going to turn to the internet!

I'm 21 nearly 22, in my first year of uni. Well working till January then taking my second semester of 1st year (did 1st semester last year). Finish uni in May I think thats when the exam is.

I've worked out, according to when my last time of the month was and other factors that I might be up to 3 weeks pregnant. Did three tests today and all had the same results.

Now....I'm kinda anti abortion. Have been brought up like this. However I am a student. BUT the problem is I am slightly bipolar, I've been okay for a while and its never been bad. But I do have circa 10k of debt which is a bit stressful. So part of me says yes, abortion......but I know I would probably regret it.

SO I do have to weigh up the options. I know its not necessarily ideal to have a child whilst studying but I am fairly mature and if its going to happen, its going to happen.

I just don't know how to work out what my income could be? I refuse to bring a child into a world where I can't feed him/her

Not sure what I am asking her, I simply can't ask my parents for advice as I tend to stress them out with my antics.

OK, what can i say here? Well, i am older than you by over a decade...however i have 3 children (aged 11, 3 and 2) and 1 on teh way... due march time. I am ay uni and yes, its bloody hard work but you will be supported in your studies, granted ex circs if needed etc.
Re practicalities and money you will be classed as independant once you have the baby and should be entitled to your loan (upto £4500 i think when you have the ss grant) special support grant and parents living allowance, You will also get your child benefit and tax credits , maybe help with housing costs etc whilst you study.

If you wnat to contunie this pregnancy (which you seem to want to from initial posts) then support and assistance is available for you.... Then there the father, he will hopefully give emotional and financial support?

Speak to uni, you will have a confidential advice facilty that will help you, also speak with brook.

Most of all talk to your parents, as shocked as they may be the thought that their daughter couldnt rely on them will shock them more
Good luck whatever you decide x x

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Get to the doctor's. For some reason (hormone changes?) people with BPD have a high risk of relapsing immediately after birth/miscarriage/termination of pregnancy.

Whatever you decide (and the benefits system, for all its faults, will not leave you and a child to starve), you need the medical support sooner rather than later - and being seen earlier if you do want a termination would mean that you could have a less physically demanding procedure.

Make the appointment first thing Monday.

BitterAndTwisted

I know I might not be being helpful but not every single fertilisation progresses to a full-term pregnancy. The first 13 weeks are critical, so there is a small chance that nature may make the decision for you.

Also, I don't think there's a single woman out there who has decided on an early termination who has not regretted it in some small corner of their heart. They would be borderline inhuman if they didn't. But that certainly does not mean that they did not made the best decision for themselves at the time.

I don't believe that any mother ever regrets bringing a child into this world, regardless of their circumstances after the fact. That's the way we are made.

Please accept the advice to go and consult Brook Advisory. They are impartial and will help you make the best decision for yourself and support you once you've made it.

Jox

Speak to your mum and dad, I'm sure they will love and help you and support you.
I know how scary it is to be in this situation...I was about 8 years ago and did the thing that you kind of don't want to do and sadly not a day has gone by when I don't regret it...of course every person / situation is different and I don't want to make you feel bad or guilty and if someone had told me 8 years ago that I would spend every day in regret I still would have done what I did.
Don't go through this on your own, tell your parents and I'm sure you will be supported through whatever decision you make xxx