Frightened of my lodger - help???

MrsE_2

sugarbabe-47 wrote: »

Hi DVardy

Thank you for that - I already am racked with guilt over this one, as I have helped and assisted him as much as I can over the last few years as a friend would and I was unaware of his mental health!
I will be organising with the Police to come and sit with me to explain to him that I am not renewing his agreement and trying to take my emotion from the situation is extremely difficult. I wouldn't like to see anyone stuck but his behaviour is becoming more volatile and I am really scared of him. I came home from work early one day a few weeks ago and he was physically hitting my dog.(he didnt expect me to be home) I cannot allow this to carry on, his excuse was my dog was barking and annoying him and when I questioned this behaviour he basically said 'so f*** what' and squared up to me being very verbal abusive towards me. My dog is a registered guard dog, german shepherd and now she cowers when he is around, so I can only assume he has abused her in my absence. My dog was my only protection, and we are both scared.
x

You really need to stop messing about & get him out immediately.

Why should your dog have to suffer his abuse too?

If you won't do it for yourself do it for her:(

I think its cruel on the dog having him there, hitting her.

ih8stress

Sugarbabe, just catching up with it all. Hope you manage to sort this problem out with your son's help. It is clear that you need practical support to get this 'friend' removed from your house urgently.
I know your head is spinning from it all and making it very difficult for you to rationalise and think straight.

Your priority is to get this man out immediately. (I would say tonight but realise it is late and you would feel too guilty to do this. Also, if your son is staying with you, you will have moral and physical support).

However you MUST get him out IN THE MORNING, WITHOUT FAIL! You seem to be focussing on the non-important aspects eg. furniture, agreements. This man is abusing your good faith and using emotional blackmail and aggression to get his own way.

He is no longer a friend but he could well be a risk to you and your dog. Yes, he needs help - but HE needs to sort that out himself through the mental health team.

PLEASE kick him out, and have your son stay with you as long as possible.

Take care

Ms_Chocaholic

Hi Sugar
I didn't want to read and run, i hope you are okay (i'm sure you are what with your son there) and that everythings gone well tonight; the sooner the lodger is gone the sooner you'll sleep soundly in your bed
Ms Choc x

Frosti

Sugar, how are you getting on? Did your son stay overnight? (I had great trouble getting to sleep - worrying about you. Tried to post some hints about keeping an out-of-control bi-polar person 'on your side' but lost my connection ).

FrugalTopCat

WhiteHorse wrote: »

He is dangerous. Get rid of him immediately. Do not feel guilty.

Very sorry to hear of your awful situation but the above says it all. Please follow the advice of the knowledgeable posters on this thread, in particular:

• call the police and have them supervise his removal
• have friends or family with you
• change the locks immediately with their help
• consider adding some of the other security measures if you fear reprisals
• forget getting your money back

It's obvious that you fear what this man may do to you, if triggered by being ejected. However it is obvious from what you have posted to date that he is already dangerous and unpredictable. The consequences of not getting rid of him could be dire for both you and your dog. I won't say any more than that. PLEASE take steps to remove him from your home as soon as possible.

nell53

Frosti wrote: »

Sugar, how are you getting on? Did your son stay overnight? (I had great trouble getting to sleep - worrying about you. Tried to post some hints about keeping an out-of-control bi-polar person 'on your side' but lost my connection ).

..frequently the problem in my experience.


Sugar- tell us you're still in one piece.

Norfolk_Jim

No response makes me feel concerned that it didn't go well last night. It was always going to be difficult for the OP and not a task I'd like myself, let alone this poor frightened woman. Lets hope that she logs on soon and that she is safe at least.

msgnomey

Oh dear hope you got it all sorted. I had a 'friend' out stay his welcome, I gave him a date and then locked the door that night so he couldn't get in. He turned up the next day as if nothing had changed, I rang a (very tall) friend for support and she came round and I asked him to leave, he did. I put all his stuff in the garage and gave him a date to collect it by or I'd bin it, he turned up on the date I'd said. BUT what really p****** me off was that when I lifted the lid of his rucksack to put in and item I had found lying around I found an expensive computer game that was mine that he'd put in his bag. If I never see him again it will be too soon.

blue_monkey_2

Keep hoping to see a message from the OP. Hope she is OK. Maybe she spoke to son last night and was getting rid today - hence not being able to log on. lets hope all has gone well.

sugarbabe-47

Hi and thank you all for the support...I am sat here crying my eyes out...the lodger is still here....please dont have a go at me....
My son admitted to me last night that he is scared of my lodger...so as a mother protecting (what a joke at this time:() I didnt divulge too much to my son. He stayed with me till late. I felt okish but this is such a damn mess.I have to try and think of everything step by step and its so damn difficult with lack of sleep and worry.
I have managed to get hold of a locksmith - an hours notice is required for him to come out. Police on speedial, I am trying to sort this out as best as I can:(
I am planning to get Police down this Friday to remove him, I simply cannot afford the locksmith till I get paid. Ex B/R no credit facilities-I asked my son to lend me some money, but he couldnt. I do not have close friends to ask for financial help...every thing seems to create me more worry I am so overwhelmed...its all a struggle and it feel like its a vicious circle...I am trying so damn hard not to be victim again,like a previous poster said.....its so hard when you have no family.................