Frightened of my lodger - help???

msgnomey

Good to hear from you

Whatever and how ever you sort this out it has to be on your term luvvy. Will be thinking about you and hoping you are safe and well. Keep posting on here so we can support you

<hugs>

kmmr

Hi Sugar,

Have been reading, but just wanted to say that you will get plenty of support from here!

Don't be too hard on yourself, this isn't an easy situation, and its easy for us to give advice, but much harder to deal with the reality of it in front of you.

Not much else to add, just saying good luck

Kmmr

pimento

Thanks for coming back to tell us what's happening. Can you ask the police if they can send their Crime Prevention Officer round to advise on security? S/he may show you how to change the barrell of your locks cheaply (cheaper than a locksmith, anyway).

You only have to change one lock on a door initially, you can do the other locks when you get paid.

fannyadams

be strong - you CAN do this.
keep us posted
{{{{{SUGARBABE}}}}}}

Caroline_a

Sugar, just shout and there'll be a million of us coming to back you up! Take very good care of yourself, you can do this!

((Hugs)) xx

Accountant_Kerry

OP sorry to sound harsh but you say you have no family, but you do, you have a son, please don't say its hard because you haven't any family as that is just an excuse.

There is nothing you can do that hasn't already been suggested. Please for yourself, your dog and your family, grow a backbone and ask him to leave immediately. You will have to do it sometime, the longer you leave it the harder it will be.

be strong, you managed to get out of an abusive marriage, you can do this. I personally wish my mother had been strong enough to get out of an abusive relationship as she might still be here. You have done it once, you can do it again, but do it now before he does turn violent. x

G_M

How many locks ar there on your door? Many front doors have two: a yale and a mortice. If so, remove the barrel of one of these yourself (5 minutes with a screwdriver - see here), lock door with the remaining lock, take it to a locksmith or B&Q etc, and buy a new barrel (£5 or £10).

Take it home and fit to the door (5 minutes with screwdriver).

If your lock is different, google 'change a yale / mortice / etc lock barrel' and you'll get lots of guides on how to do it.

If you only have one lock, you'll need to leave your son or someone in the house while you take the lock barrel to the store to get it replaced.

It really is cheap and easy to do. A locksmith will charge, what, £50 just to come out? Then overcharge you for the new lock. Use my link above or use google yourself.

As for waiting till Friday, listen all the people here. DO IT NOW!

In post 10 I suggested:

"
1) Get you son and nephews down.
2) Tell the local police (community beat officer? local station) what you intend to do, and that you fear a violent response and get it ON RECORD.
3) Tell the 'friend' that the relationship has clealy broken down, rent is unpaid, friendship is over, so you would like hime to leave. Today! (and have son/nephews present).
4) If your son/nephews can stay the night, then agree, if you must, to let him stay one last night and leave first thing next morning.
5) any trouble, dial 999
6) Forget the money. Write it off as a bad experience. Better to get him out of your life than have ongoing rangling about money.
7) After he's gone (indeed, while he's still there), change the barrels of all locks to which he might have keys. Front door yale, mortice, back door.... Barrels cost £5-10 and take 5 minutes to change."

The relief when he's gone will be immense but you have to be strong and get it done.

Yorkie1

I'm not sure I understand why you feel that Friday would be the best day to do this, but it did occur to me that it might be better to do it before then, so that it gives him more time during the working week to put his affairs in order - if it is left until Friday then the weekend is coming up, when his support services may be less available. You don't owe him anything, but this may help allay any guilt feelings you may feel.

blue_monkey_2

Glad to hear you are ok, we was all worried about you.

Is there anyone near the OP that can help her change the locks? I am a long way away otherwise I'd offer to come and help. Just thought I would ask.

loveGSDs

paddy's_mum wrote: »

Do you imagine that anyone in their right mind is going to hit, torment and abuse a GSD ... and get away with it without eventual retaliation?

For his own safety, your lodger needs to move to a place where an enraged dog who has been pushed beyond endurance can't take matters into his own 'hands'. Have you ever seen the mess a large dog makes when it tears the throat out of a living thing ...?

sorry but this is nonsence, a scared gsd doesnt equal an aggressive gsd.

sugar, i hope things get sorted quickly and hassle free

sending you cyber hugs and luck

xx