Frightened of my lodger - help???

*Robin*

Hi, just found this and wanted to add my support Sugarbabe. Bet you are feeling better by the hour!

Will be sending you "be strong" vibes on Friday night - and then you'll be able to close this nasty chapter in your life.

Next time, get a lodger off one of the rent-a-room sites - and check their references and get a deposit before you let them move in!

FatVonD

If you *really* feel you need to take legal advice you do know that the first hour with a solicitor is usually free, don't you? They may be able to put your mind at rest.

Regarding his furniture, where I live most of the big storage facilities offer the first months rent for free (or maybe it's £1, something like that anyway!) If he doesn't collect it move his stuff there and then he has a month to collect it in his own time

sugarbabe-47

*Robin* wrote: »

Hi, just found this and wanted to add my support Sugarbabe. Bet you are feeling better by the hour!
thank you
Will be sending you "be strong" vibes on Friday night - and then you'll be able to close this nasty chapter in your life.

Next time, get a lodger off one of the rent-a-room sites - and check their references and get a deposit before you let them move in OH Dear...no no no never ever ever again :eek: will anyone but my kids share my house [/QUOTE]

Thank you for your support.

sugarbabe-47

FatVonD wrote: »

If you *really* feel you need to take legal advice you do know that the first hour with a solicitor is usually free, don't you? They may be able to put your mind at rest.

Regarding his furniture, where I live most of the big storage facilities offer the first months rent for free (or maybe it's £1, something like that anyway!) If he doesn't collect it move his stuff there and then he has a month to collect it in his own time

to be honest I havent got the time or inclanation or money to a) get a solicitor and b) move his furniture - his stuff, his problem....I have really really been through the mill emotionally with this one and this just needs ending asap....I now can see why all the other posters were saying get rid, get rid....but at the time I was living it, I couldn't see this - my head was mushed:o

Sugar x:)

Jox

I'm so impressed by how you handled this Sugar, it is going to resolved finally by tomorrow and you don't have to spend another day tip-toeing around your own home. I'm very pleased for you :j

Norfolk_Jim

have all his stuff waiting by the door for him. block him from your social network sites. Think about having any financial products you might have made safe, i.e. change your passwords etc

*Robin*

sugarbabe-47 wrote: »

*Robin* wrote: »

Hi, just found this and wanted to add my support Sugarbabe. Bet you are feeling better by the hour!
thank you
Will be sending you "be strong" vibes on Friday night - and then you'll be able to close this nasty chapter in your life.

Next time, get a lodger off one of the rent-a-room sites - and check their references and get a deposit before you let them move in OH Dear...no no no never ever ever again :eek: will anyone but my kids share my house [/QUOTE]

Thank you for your support.

Sugarbabe, I thought you were short of funds? Having a lodger is still a good way to up your income - you just got really unlucky, and maybe it wasn't a good idea to let a "friend" in - with someone you don't know, it will be easier to be dispassionate; check their references as part of the interviewing process - and turn down anyone you don't like the look of. Where I live, there are a lot of middle-aged ladies working in care-homes or hospitals who need to live as lodgers. Maybe you could find someone like that, who is grateful for a comfortable home with another lady.
I have one, she is my 3rd lodger; a lovely lass, as was no1. No2 was a nightmare but not as bad as yours! I hope it isn't long before all this fades into memory for you. Get Friday out of the way - are you sure he knows he has to collect all his stuff during that final visit? - and then gather your family round you and enjoy Christmas. Maybe think about another lodger in the New Year; I advertise my spare room on the easyroommate site.

By the way - have you got a door-chain? Just in case Mr Nasty turns up unexpectedly? I hope his Mum takes him to the doctor.

getmore4less

*Robin* wrote: »

sugarbabe-47 wrote: »

Sugarbabe, I thought you were short of funds? Having a lodger is still a good way to up your income - you just got really unlucky, and maybe it wasn't a good idea to let a "friend" in - with someone you don't know, it will be easier to be dispassionate; check their references as part of the interviewing process - and turn down anyone you don't like the look of. Where I live, there are a lot of middle-aged ladies working in care-homes or hospitals who need to live as lodgers. Maybe you could find someone like that, who is grateful for a comfortable home with another lady.
.

Another way that can be sucessfull is the Monday to Friday where they have another home and family to go to and are often on temp assignments or contracts in the area, or plan to move and buy.

ih8stress

sugarbabe-47 wrote: »

to be honest I havent got the time or inclanation or money to a) get a solicitor and b) move his furniture - his stuff, his problem....
Too true. I would just make sure that the police are there when he collects his stuff. Personally I wouldn't move it at all, it saves you the effort and gives him no chance of saying you've damaged anything in the process
I have really really been through the mill emotionally with this one and this just needs ending asap....
Hold on, you're almost there:)
I now can see why all the other posters were saying get rid, get rid....but at the time I was living it, I couldn't see this - my head was mushedAlot of people feel the same when they are living with a problem, it is only when you distance yourself that you can see things more clearly - and wonder how you put up with it for so long.

Sugar x:)

As someone else suggested, you need to get something in writing from your 'friend' that he has collected all his stuff, in good condition etc. and get the police to witness this if possible.
Also, could you take photos of his stuff, the rooms he used etc. in case there are any queries/conflicts at a later date? Just to protect your interests. The police would only be able to see he has taken the goods, not record the condition, quantities etc.

Not long to wait now. Stay strong, Sugar.

Take care.

nell53

Glad you got your fighting spirit back. And have to agree with you - OH Dear...no no no never ever ever again :eek: will anyone but my kids share my house [/QUOTE]

Onwards and upwards...