This debt must go

starnac

Thank you all for your lovely words.

Pippi he is utterly perfect (sometimes )

cheery yes maybe they can't see how he wouldn't struggle. I hadn't thought of it like that

Igamogam I too have worked with challenging behaviour so know what you mean. As an aside they are late 60's-70's so I suppose not really elderly in the grand scheme of things

Greying thank you. Yes the world is his oyster and that's partly what upset me. Like it wouldn't be if there was *something wrong* with him.

Thank you for your supportive words. His speech therapy referral can take 2-3months but we have no idea how long the audiology waiting list is. We have exercises to do with him on sound recognition so we will keep doing those for now. And encouraging him to "use his words" at all opportunities.

starnac

Over half way through the holidays here now. Can't believe DD will be going back to school soon. As much as I love her being home, I have hardly got any money things done. I can't sew while both DD and DS are home and I can't go up in the attic to sort items for selling either so money news is a bit slow here.

I am still waiting to hear back from the agency I signed up with. Apparently they had some trouble getting hold of one of my references. I've tried contacting the agency but can't get through so I've sent them an email explaining I've tried and asking them to ring me.

To be honest it would probably be better to wait til DD is back in school anyway. Plus we are a bit "out of sorts" shall we say, as DH has hurt his arm so is currently unable to drive. This means I've had to ferry him back and forth to the hospital for physio and now he's back at work, I'm having to do some of those journeys too (the ones he can't take the train). I'm not complaining but it's extra petrol costs and having him home this past week has meant I've hardly got anything done then either.

Roll on September when things go back to normality

starnac

Afternoon all, just sitting down after lunch "having a minute" DD is upstairs playing with her friend and DS is at nursery.

Today has been a bit of an up and down day. Yesterday we started potty training DS. He did very well yesterday and even stayed dry all night. He then promptly wee'd on the way down the stairs, despite him sitting on the potty very quickly after getting out of bed. *sigh* I've sent him to nursery in pants but I've also sent in nappies as obviously they've got a lot of children to watch so might not have the time to devote to him all day. We'll see how he's been when I pick him up. From tomorrow we've got 4 days where I could spend the time with him before he goes to nursery again so fingers crossed I can control my frustration

This morning I've seen another side to a friend and I don't particularly like it to be honest. Demanding and controlling. not the person I thought she was and it's upset me a bit but then I overheard someone else talking about another friend and it's cheered me up no end. Hmm :think: that didn't read very well did it?

They were talking about this friend who has a mild learning disability. I organised a meeting a couple of weeks ago and he came as he likes to be involved in everything. I had wanted to discuss roles for people but a lot of people cried the meeting off for various reasons. Didn't bother me as I just assigned roles and tough, if they wanted to choose they should have come to the meeting anyway turns out after I had left, this friend was quite upset. (I started listening to the conversation here as I was a bit afraid that I had upset him) Before the meeting I had already assigned him a role as I know he likes to be involved and his learning disability means he struggles to make decisions when put on the spot, so I thought it would be easier if I said "how do you fancy doing this?" Rather than "what do you want to do?" This is why I thought I had upset him.

Anyway turns out he was upset as not a lot of people had come to the meeting and he thinks more people should support me in my job. I just want to hug him next time I see him for being so thoughtful. (I won't as he can't tolerate people touching him) I'd never realised how much he supported me. I always buy gifts for my volunteers so I might get him a little something extra

Moral of a (very longwinded) story. Never judge people by their apparent indifference

starnac

Bit of good news. I heard back from the agency today. Apparently they were having trouble reaching one of my references via telephone so I've just given them his address for them to write to him. I will tell him to expect a letter and I know he will send it back ASAP for me. It will probably be all sorted ready for September now which works out well I suppose as DD will be back at school and I'll have more free time.

Two months without the extra money has really shown in the overpayments made.

starnac

Such a stressful day today. We've started trying to potty train DS and it's all going wrong. I'm so stressed and frustrated but I can't show it as I don't want to scar the poor boy for life :eek:

He will happily sit on the potty and knows what he's supposed to do but he can't seem to "let go". Once he feels like he needs to go he gets up off the potty and wees on the floor. It's a purposeful act. I'm really at a loss as to how to build his confidence enough for him to relax on the potty enough to *ahem* go. I have posted on the families board and am hoping for some pearls of wisdom.

Any suggestions gratefully received

Pippilongstocking

Hugs love, I'm no use my DS went one step forwards and three back.

I think we 'started' potty training about 4 times, I kept giving up as he was just not ready, so until he was ready, I left him and just sort of did it himself. Initially he wore 'pull ups' to nursery just in case he got, erm, engrossed.

You see rubbish answer. I'm a bit lax, I always figured they'd never go to school in a nappy so left them for longer than most I think.

But that was expensive too.

I come from the school of 'hippy organic' parenting, minimal interventions and no chemicals AKA sloppy parent school.

I don't know if there is a 'right' way, they all learn so differently.

(chart and stickers?)

Hugs and yay for the kind words from the volunteer.

patanne

Is it possible he has suffered "splashback" from the potty & didn't like it. If you think of the biology it is much more natural for boys to do it standing up. Have you thought of just going straight to the toilet, they don't even have to aim. This is what I did with my DS but he was tall & as he walked very young he was very steady on his feet so didn't find the standing block any problem (he never needed to aim by the way - he'd kill me if he knew what I was talking about!!!).

ETA I am not saying it was easy but the potty was a non-starter

starnac

Hi patanne no he hasn't got as far as actually weeing in the potty. I get the feeling that once he gets over the fear and does that first one then we'll be fine.

pippi I'm mostly of that parenting school too. Problem is I think I had it too easy with DD. We tried over and over then suddenly one day we took her nappy off and that was it, she never wore one again! I think that's why I'm struggling now. I've never done the actual proper potty training bit before

clearmydebts

I'm no use either as I can't remember with DS. I do know it took him 4 days before the wees clicked and then 8 weeks to master the poo as he was afraid to let go. I found 'Poo goes to Pooland' excellent on Youtube.

starnac

Thanks CMD I'll look that video up.

I hadn't realised just how upset I was yesterday over the whole thing. I hardly slept at all last night and ended up downstairs at 2.30am doing paperwork. I feel so drained today. I haven't got the energy to argue with him. I've told him that big boys sit on the potty and I've left it at that. The potty is in prime place so he can see it. It's just got to be his decision otherwise I'm afraid I'll end up putting him off completely.

In money news, our fixed rate is up on the mortgage next month and our provider has sent us details of our new payments. They've got better deals on their website though so I'll have a proper look at them at some point today. Will also look around at other providers too.

I made a very small overpayment to the loan. A measley £3 but it was money I found in the lockers at DH's work I opened one to put our stuff in and there was a £1 sat there so I used that one (there was no one else in the changing rooms) and I had a quick look in other lockers too. I personally can't believe that people would leave their £1 in the lockers but I do remember when the place first opened, DH used to bring quite a lot of "locker money" home as he used to check them all when he was closing up.

August Challenge £123.29/£500
Declutter 8/10