Rent = Happy Girlfriend or Buy = Moody Girlfriend

Mankysteve

I don't personal feel there is as much wrong with renting were too obsessed by trying to get on the property market and that's what got us in this mess. Renting does have advantages over home ownership but that a discussion for another time.

At the moment it would be madness to go start renting before you've cleared the debt. At the moh you've both got cheap accommodation allowing you to clear your debts and this must be key goal number one.

There are also the exta cost of setting up a rental that need to saved for a deposit which is usually a month rent minimum plus if its though agency vetting cost and there fees which can be greater than £200 in some cases. Is is prepared to save for these.

justme111

I don't think everything HAS to be split 50/50.
what if she earns £20000 and he £60000?
She just could not afford to put her 50% to what his lifestyle could be. The same about those comments re-paying for petrol. Everyone draws the line at some point, paying for petrol or split the bill for romantic meal is not something I would consider right to do for me.

[Deleted User]

Think some of the suggestions that have been made on here are very valuable. U need to get rid of your debt, so not a good idea to move into a rental right now, she can move into a flat share etc, have to pay a deposit (she should save for it and pay for it). If she has to learn to budget, I hate to say it, let her practice on her own.., without boyfriend bank to save her.., its the only way she will learn from her mistakes I'm afraid. And then u two might have a chance of making good when u are financially able to rent/buy a place together. U've tried supporting her for long enough.., by now u must know that method isn't going to work.

Its hard when u care for someone, but sometimes logic has to over rule emotions.., u could get in an awful mess if she doesn't learn to be independent and responsible financially.

I hear what u say about your mother having to move if u move out.., I suspect u need to discuss this with your mother as well, so she can plan for the time when u do leave.

poppysarah

You should rent with her but I don't think either of you are ready for it.

Look into how much rent is, how much deposit you'll need, what the bills will be and work out together seriously what your plan is.

Perhaps decide to move in together in April (The world will be full of romance then) and save towards that....

Buying will require saving up a massive deposit so you can start that together too.

prosaver

dont get pressured into moving out ....
be debt free...
what does she spend her money on ..booze ..hand bags..and shoes...
its not fair on you..
Think to yourself how many people on this thread has said the same..
dont get pressured into moving out ....
be debt free... we alll cant be wrong

BigTone

justme111 wrote: »

I don't think everything HAS to be split 50/50.
what if she earns £20000 and he £60000?
She just could not afford to put her 50% to what his lifestyle could be. The same about those comments re-paying for petrol. Everyone draws the line at some point, paying for petrol or split the bill for romantic meal is not something I would consider right to do for me.

I agree, I would not ask her to 50/50 things, but at the moment, she has more "free" money than me, due to my debt, the reason why I want to be rid of it before anything happens.

Petrol, romantic meal, nope, not me... It is my car which I use and if I offer her a lift or pick her up, that is my choice, she would not get charged for it!

justme111

BigTone wrote: »

I agree, I would not ask her to 50/50 things, but at the moment, she has more "free" money than me, due to my debt, the reason why I want to be rid of it before anything happens.

Petrol, romantic meal, nope, not me... It is my car which I use and if I offer her a lift or pick her up, that is my choice, she would not get charged for it!

By the way I wanted to make a point of how rare gem you seem to be, you are able to budget but at the same time you are able to let those £4,500 go as you do not think everything in this life is about money. People usually fall into either irresponsible spender or miserably frugal category, you seem to manage the best of two worlds how I see it

BigTone

prosaver wrote: »

dont get pressured into moving out ....
be debt free...
what does she spend her money on ..booze ..hand bags..and shoes...
its not fair on you..
Think to yourself how many people on this thread has said the same..
dont get pressured into moving out ....
be debt free... we alll cant be wrong

True, advice that will be taken

BigTone

justme111 wrote: »

By the way I wanted to make a point of how rare gem you seem to be, you are able to budget but at the same time you are able to let those £4,500 go as you do not think everything in this life is about money. People usually fall into either irresponsible spender or miserably frugal category, you seem to manage the best of two worlds how I see it

Thankyou, wish you could tell my girl the same! ha ha.

I have just spoken to her and tonight we are going to sit down and go through everything that it would cost.

Then when we have reached a "monthly" figure for each of us, she is going to save her amount up for 6 months, if she manages to do that, we can then make movements towards looking at somewhere.

If not, then it won't be happening.

She didn't sound happy but this may make her realise that she needs to be debt free and have some savings before we are going anywhere.

justme111

print my post out:D and show to her
though tastes differ