Rent = Happy Girlfriend or Buy = Moody Girlfriend

BigTone

pmlindyloo wrote: »

. Since I have been saving/budgeting hard for the last 3 years, she has not, making me wonder if we start renting at £600-£700Pcm will we ever manage to save up a deposit for a home?



Sorry but this really concerns me. You say you have lived together but you don't say if you have sorted out you finances together - paying bills etc during this time. 'Playing at house' is just not the same as living in your own place and having bills etc.

I would urge you to rent together first and sort out those finances. As Voyager says house prices look like they're not going anywhere for the next few years.

Forgive me but your post makes me a little sad. As much as you love your girlfriend you seem to be very focussed on having a mortgage, settling down and making babies. I hope you have 'seen life' as it were (maybe that's where the debt came from!) and your girlfriend too.

Please rent together first and make sure you both want the same out of life.

Fair point, its not that we have "seen life", its just our focus in life has changed, yes thats where the debt came from, we went mad, holidays etc etc, but we enjoyed it. No regrets.

We both just want to "grow up" and move forward in our life, yes we want kids but all in good time, I just don't want to make any decisions based on a knee jerk reaction that will jeopardise our future.

justme111

she owes you money? how come?

Gwhiz

justme111 wrote: »

she owes you money? how come?

Borrowed it I'm guessing!

chazsucks

Wow she's lucky to have you! Me and my partner are the opposite, currently renting with my dad, I'm trying to pay off debts and save up so we can buy a nice place, but he just wants to move out and rent somewhere! I gave into him last year and by the end of our years contract our debt had like doubled due to the price of where we live (london) and we just moved back and now I have more debt to get rid of before we can move out properly! grrrrr!

BigTone

justme111 wrote: »

she owes you money? how come?

Because I lent it to her, I give her money and have never asked for it back as whats mine is hers, but after she won 4.5K on the bingo she offered to repay me some of it, to which i said no, put it to good use, clear your credit cards, do your driving lessons with it, anything useful.

Anyway 6 months later it was all gone, no driving lessons and credit cards were maxed out again, this nearly broke us.

The last 24 months have been the worst for me, only just being able to run the car as I am clearing my debt and during this time she had to lend even more money off me as she had spent all hers, so I said that I would definately need this back as it would pay off a credit card, fine.

She still spends every paycheck and has no bills of her own, pays no board etc, so I wonder if things will change, or whether I will end up having to fork out for everything, I can only see things getting worse if we have an additional £600PCM to rent, never mind the bills that go with it.

I am used to paying board, splitting the food and bills with my parents so I am accustommed to £500-£600 being "spent" before I touch my pay, what scares me is I dont think she is.

BigTone

chazsucks wrote: »

Wow she's lucky to have you! Me and my partner are the opposite, currently renting with my dad, I'm trying to pay off debts and save up so we can buy a nice place, but he just wants to move out and rent somewhere! I gave into him last year and by the end of our years contract our debt had like doubled due to the price of where we live (london) and we just moved back and now I have more debt to get rid of before we can move out properly! grrrrr!

That's what I am scared of happening, I know that life is not perfect by any means, its tough and you live and learn.

I also do not want to lose her and I am willing to support her in any way shape or form, I just want her to be happy

kazwookie

Sorry, but she is spending way outside her limit by the sounds of it.

I would suggest you carry on saving and paying off your debts, and get her to 'match' what ever money you have for a new place, not her father!

I would also start to ask for the money back that she owes you, 'what is mine is hers' forget it! what is yours is yours, I have a feeling she does not know the value of money.

Good luck

BigTone

kazwookie wrote: »

Sorry, but she is spending way outside her limit by the sounds of it.

I would suggest you carry on saving and paying off your debts, and get her to 'match' what ever money you have for a new place, not her father!

I would also start to ask for the money back that she owes you, 'what is mine is hers' forget it! what is yours is yours, I have a feeling she does not know the value of money.

Good luck

She doesn't, but on the other hand I also think that if we rented, she will be to learn the value of it, and also the value of earning it herself, she does work every day, maybe if it was being put into bills and essentials, leaving less left over for "treating herself" she may realise.

Either that or it would go horribly worng

BitterAndTwisted

The very first thing the two of you should do is get out of debt and your girlfriend starts saving to prove that she can afford to live away from home. Frittering away that £4.5k and maxing out the credit-cards at the same time bodes very, very ill indeed.

She is absolutely NOT in a position to share a £300 a month property at the moment and I fear that you will indeed end up paying the lion's share of the expenses should you take on a rental. It sounds like she's never lived away from home before so probably has no idea about how expensive it can be. I honestly think that she has completely unrealistic expectations I also don't think it's fair of her to be putting pressure on you in this way.

With £5k in debt and her having debts as well I doubt that any landlord would accept you as a tenant. This should be your argument for not going ahead with this crazy plan until you are BOTH solvent and have some savings.

pjcox2005

I would go against the majority and suggest you rent. I say that because of the following:
- Based on your incomes and a very rough calculation you should be taking home about £3,500 to £4,500 per month after tax.
- There is no reason why you can't afford the cost of renting, paying of the remaining debt and then continuing to save with that level of earnings.
- I think people aiming for future targets can sometimes distract from the present and actually living life how you want to. That may mean living together, bit more freedom away from parents (I accept that they are away a lot but it's till not the same) etc.
- 6/12 month renting, may give you a better idea of can you live together, ability to budget, where you want to live by testing an area and what sort of property you require.
- Housing market is unlikely to shoot up in the next 12 months so that shouldn't be an issue.
Potential issue with a deposit with you in debt but presumably her Dad may be able to help with a deposit for now if your debt is an issue.

[Please no one respond with the sentence 'rent is wasted money, it's no different to paying a bank interest etc. on a mortgage if the rent is the same/similar to what the interest cost would be i.e. excluding capital payments]