Rent = Happy Girlfriend or Buy = Moody Girlfriend

BitterAndTwisted

The simple fact is that with £5k of debt round your neck right now you are really not in a position to rent a flat. It seems to me that with her modest wage she's not in a position to either and it may turn out that you would be paying the lion's share of the expenses as well.

Sit tight, pay off all your debt and then reconsider.

BigTone

Gwhiz wrote: »

What's the saying - be cruel to be kind!

If you let her get her way then you jeopardize your long term plan - not good.

Stick with it and make sure you talk to each other. If there is one thing my 47 years have taught me it's that problems do not solve themselves, they need to be acted upon. Open, honest discussion is needed here - you need to make he understand that another year of "sacrifice" will open the doors to a better future for you both and that one year out of another 60 or so is not a lot.

Very true, I just think that something is about to give.

I know she makes it out to her friends that I am the one "slowing things down" etc, and I know her friends set her straight.

I would be devastated to lose her, but on the other hand I would also be devestated to look back in 10 years time and think;

"wish we hadn't done that"

She know how I feel, I have made that clear, yet this morning, two e-mails from rightmove asking if we can view???

I think she is blinkered and is just not listening.

This sounds really bad when you write it down

BigTone

poppysarah wrote: »

I'm taking a guess but it'll be you doing the work not her... Unless it's something you want to do (And it's more satisfying doing it for a long term home than trying to turn a profit in todays market)

Yup, we would hae to split the money, but I would be doing the majority of the work, which I have no problem with, It would be our little project.

BigTone

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

The simple fact is that with £5k of debt round your neck right now you are really not in a position to rent a flat. It seems to me that with her modest wage she's not in a position to either and it may turn out that you would be paying the lion's share of the expenses as well.

Sit tight, pay off all your debt and then reconsider.

Thankyou, my thoughts exactly

Voyager2002

I beg to differ from the other people who have advised on your situation...

On the one hand, I don't think there is any great urgency about buying your own place. If you do as your partner wants, the day when you get to buy will be further in the future, but the chances are that prices will have fallen further by then, so no harm done in the long term. OTOH I think there are real benefits to living in your own home rather than with parents, learning how to share responsibilities, and so forth. Paying off debt is important, but so is quality of life and the ability to grow and learn how to live independently.

However, I would question whether it is necessary to pay as much as 600 a month for a place for a couple to live. I also suggest that the two of you should be very clear about how the rent is shared -- and it should not be all paid by you!

JimmyTheWig

Maybe she's wanting a little more concrete commitment from you - i.e. living together now would be better than a future plan of having the perfect place.
So my suggestion is to propose to her.

BigTone

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

Maybe she's wanting a little more concrete commitment from you - i.e. living together now would be better than a future plan of having the perfect place.
So my suggestion is to propose to her.

As soon as I have the money for a ring, that s my plan

BigTone

Voyager2002 wrote: »

I beg to differ from the other people who have advised on your situation...

On the one hand, I don't think there is any great urgency about buying your own place. If you do as your partner wants, the day when you get to buy will be further in the future, but the chances are that prices will have fallen further by then, so no harm done in the long term. OTOH I think there are real benefits to living in your own home rather than with parents, learning how to share responsibilities, and so forth. Paying off debt is important, but so is quality of life and the ability to grow and learn how to live independently.

However, I would question whether it is necessary to pay as much as 600 a month for a place for a couple to live. I also suggest that the two of you should be very clear about how the rent is shared -- and it should not be all paid by you!

We ave lived together in our parents' house for periods of 6-12 months, they work away you see.

I have no problems with us being able to live together.

600pcm is the cheapest I/She an find that suits "us", I drive you see, so am mobile and can travel to work myself.

(and dont ask about her driving lessons) Ha Ha

sonastin

My suggestion would be to put your foot down and say you're not going anywhere until you are debt free. Once the £5k has been cleared, you can have the conversation again. Perhaps if she knuckled down and paid you what she owes you, the £5k will clear quicker and you'll be more inclined to follow her line of thinking

If she is really desperate to fly the nest, she can always take that step on her own. You can follow when you are ready - especially if she prefers the renting option. If she needs you to come with her so that she can afford it, she's moving in with you for the wrong reasons.

pmlindyloo

. Since I have been saving/budgeting hard for the last 3 years, she has not, making me wonder if we start renting at £600-£700Pcm will we ever manage to save up a deposit for a home?



Sorry but this really concerns me. You say you have lived together but you don't say if you have sorted out you finances together - paying bills etc during this time. 'Playing at house' is just not the same as living in your own place and having bills etc.

I would urge you to rent together first and sort out those finances. As Voyager says house prices look like they're not going anywhere for the next few years.

Forgive me but your post makes me a little sad. As much as you love your girlfriend you seem to be very focussed on having a mortgage, settling down and making babies. I hope you have 'seen life' as it were (maybe that's where the debt came from!) and your girlfriend too.

Please rent together first and make sure you both want the same out of life.