Can't afford Child Support Payments and Uni Fees

RAS

spamalot wrote: »

R

Thanks for your reply. Its not really the child support that's the problem. That's set and we will pay it until the youngest reaches 18, which will be for another 8 years.

Can we just clarify? When DSD finishes her A Levels, your OH's Child support contribution drops from 20 percent to 15%.

Assuming she lives with her mum, the financial support for DSD at university will depend on mum's income and it is likely that she will get her fees loan, student grant and student loan?

Are you and your DSD fully au fait with the public funding available?

gratefulforhelp_2

You can contact school (or at least your DH can) direct and ask for her predicted grades/target grades any time.

Then at least you have a basis for discussion with her.

Caroline_a

If I were you, I would sit her down and talk to her about her options. Going to university because your friends are going is not a reason, it's a cop-out. In my opinion, there are far too many people going to university unnecessarily now, hence the huge debts and large numbers of student unemployment. Going to university which will rack up debts for her is only a good idea if it will forward whatever career she chooses.

My youngest daughter went to uni. She graduated this summer, and is now doing 2 jobs to make ends meet. Her student loans are around £20k, so she's going to be a while before all those are paid off!

Middle daughter, however, chose not to. She worked hard and by the time she was 22 (when she would have finished university) she was earning around £50k a year, and had her own (new) car and flat.

I went to university and did a business and engineering degree, which was very quickly outdated by the time I'd taken time out to have the children. Luckily I had a small grant, so no debts apart from the usual overdraft. That option is no longer open to most students, and it's looking like a £20k debt will be very small indeed compared with those in 5 years time...

Chakani

Things might have changed significantly in the 10 years since I went to university, but when I was there it was the minority of students who were supported by family rather than supporting themselves via a combination of student loans and jobs. I think some got some help from parents with the means-tested tuition fees, but that is all, and by no means did everyone get that. I worked in the holidays to save it up ready for the upcoming year, and my parents helped me by allowing me to stay rent-free during the holidays. Then it was an up-front fee, but now it is in the way of a loan, so she wouldn't have to find this money until she meets the repayment criteria (earning over 15k, then a percentage of what she earns over that is the current threshold I think).

Leaving school and home to go to university is a big step into the adult world, and most teenagers have not taken on the responsibility before of looking after themselves in every sense, so it can be very intimidating. Why not sit down with her, research what funding would be available to her, what costs she would have to cover, and what help, if any, you and her mum can offer, be it accommodation in holiday time, a bit of money, emotional support. This might make it all seem more possible than saying "we can't/won't help you at all" (I'm sure you didn't say exactly this, and I'm certain it's not what you meant to tell her, but it may be what she has heard, especially if her friends are better off and expecting support).

spamalot

Ras,

we pay child support through a court order not the CSA, the terms were agreed during the divorce. We actually pay more than the CSA require but that is another issue! We will have to go back to court to get the terms changed when eldest reaches 18 or we do have the option to go through the CSA. Hubby wants to keep things as stable and amicable as possible, so he is not keen on CSA route but would rather talk it through.

Mother lives with partner so income is above the lower limit for full assistance in terms of loans, grants etc.

Contacting the school directly is a good idea, may have to broach this tactfully with hubby. Any suggestion that may imply that DSD is not giving us the full picture meets with disapproval.

Just to add, her mum is not able to offer any assistance whatsoever.

RAS

Chakani wrote: »

Then it was an up-front fee, but now it is in the way of a loan, so she wouldn't have to find this money until she meets the repayment criteria (earning over 15k, then a percentage of what she earns over that is the current threshold I think).

The proposed earning limit is £21,000 with a 9% levy on income over that level. Anything not paid off after 30 years is wiped out.

RAS

spamalot wrote: »

Any suggestion that may imply that DSD is not giving us the full picture meets with disapproval.

From whom?

spamalot

Ras - From hubby. Whilst he will reluctantly admit she isn't always forthcoming, the thought of 'checking up on her' by going to the school is something he isn't comfortable with and therefore doesn't support. We've been down this route before years ago with the Key Stage test results.

Just to give a little more background, hubby is working two jobs at the moment to make ends meet. I also work full time. So we are pulling out the stops just to stand still!

Charlie1978

Dear step daughter will have to get a dear little job where she'll learn that dearest daddy can't pay for everything and that everything in life is well... very dear!!



An important lesson in life to stand on your own two feet imo. By the time Uni comes she'll be an adult and ready to do that won't she?!

Mojisola

spamalot wrote: »

Mother lives with partner so income is above the lower limit for full assistance in terms of loans, grants etc.

Contacting the school directly is a good idea, may have to broach this tactfully with hubby. Any suggestion that may imply that DSD is not giving us the full picture meets with disapproval.

Just to add, her mum is not able to offer any assistance whatsoever.

Those two statements don't fit - if the household income is high then Mum can afford to help financially.