Charging rent for 21 year old 19 October 2006 at 9:40AM edited 30 November -1 at 12:00AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families 234 replies 125.8K views

Farnz

The deal my mother has offered ever since I was 18 (which seems fair to me) is that if I ever need to move back home, we'll work out how much it would cost me to live elsewhere (food, rent, council tax etc), and she'll charge me that much. From that, she'll take a "fair" cut (no more than half the total charge), and put the other half into a savings account (in her name, not mine) to be used to help me buy a home of my own.

This has the advantage that I'm not financially tied to home; if I'm too much trouble at home, or if I can't cope with living with mum, I can afford to move out, while if I get on with her, I'll build up a nice nest egg for when I do have to move out.

Alan50

My son 23 pays me £120.00 from a take home wage of 1K, we live in a 3 bed semi, sky TV, cable broadband, cleaner twice a week (wife left years ago) some meals here and some out. He feels he is overcharged!!! having read the posts its quite a reverlation....
Martin, what is a fair percentage?
Thank you to the origional post
Alan

LydiaSophia

When I went to work first of all I paid my Mum £50 a week and was more than happy to do so. My sister always begruded paying it. However after living on her own she soon realised what a bargain £50 a week was.

No one has any concept of how expensive living is - not to mention hard work when living alone.

thriftyjen

I'm 23 and take home about £1000 per month. I pay £220 a month rent and would happily pay more if my mum needed it. I'm living in her house and I care about her having a good life - so I see her financial burden as mine too. I know someone else though who pays no rent whatsoever, despite the fact that their parents are struggling!

annie-c

Now that it's opened out to a wider debate, can I add to my earlier posts (which were in favour of a realistic contribution) by saying that I do remember feeling hard done by when the time came for me to make a contribution. I do think, in retrospect, that it was for my own good, as well as for my parent's good (they weren't well off enough to keep me, even if they wanted to). I remember feeling a bit hurt though - as if I had to pay to live in my own home (as someone else said earlier) and it sort of marked the end of feeling like the baby of the family.

However, I wonder what people think about when the subject should be broached? I wonder if I would have felt a little less upset if I had known all along that that would happen - if my parents had reinforced the idea right from childhood.

What do others think?

JayW

In response to annie-c - the more you can build into your child's expectations from an early age, the more they will take for granted when they are older. One of my friends told her son (as a joke when he was about 10) that he would have to leave home at 18. It made my son ask where he would live when he got to 18 himself. Would have been a great opportunity to tell him he could stay if he paid his way. and then reinforce in conversation afterwards that once you are an adult you have responsibilities as well as rights.

r.mac_2

Just to add in my thoughts. At 21 I lived and worked in London (parents live in north of scotland). I earned approx £1200 pcm. A room in a flat was £500 plus council tax (£74), bills (split 4 equal ways between occupants), food and travel (£110) after that.

And that was in 2002

beanybop

My mum would not take what I thought was enough, so I used to buy things for the house etc. to top it up - this was lots of years ago.

My sister paid the 1/3 that others have mentioned. she was 38 before she left home, and then she moved in with me!! she gived me about a 1/3 for her cottage, but has to pay her own heating, food etc.

I think a minimum of 1/4, and up to 1/3 is still not unreasonable. I like the idea of saving some for them for a house deposit etc. the reason mum would not take much was because she knew I was a saver and this enabled me to move out earlier than I would have if she had taken lots off of me.

I think that as soon as someone is earning say £100 pw that they can make a 1/4 contribution towards expenses, even if at college etc. maybe alter it if they are saving hard, but otherwise paying a reasonable amount teaches about budgeting etc. and they have to learn it sometime, and the earlier the better, before they get into bad habits which are very hard to break.

Smashing

Alan50 wrote:

My son 23 pays me £120.00 from a take home wage of 1K, we live in a 3 bed semi, sky TV, cable broadband, cleaner twice a week (wife left years ago) some meals here and some out. He feels he is overcharged!!! having read the posts its quite a reverlation....
Martin, what is a fair percentage?
Thank you to the origional post
Alan

A month? :eek:
You've been had!

vickih_3

When I lived at home with my parents many years ago I paid 25% of my wages as did all my brothers and sisters. In addition I contributed to the household via housework, ironing and general stuff that needed doing.
When my children became old enough I was widowed and I charged them 25% of their wages and they had to pull their weight. I did not save it and give it back to them when they moved out because I was on my own trying to keep a roof over our heads. I probably should have charged them a bit more. I see parents now days not charging and their kids have no respect for them and will never move out. If you don't teach them that life is not a free rife you are doing them a disservice. They don't learn how to manage their money. I also do not feel it is a parent's responsibility to support their children when they are adults.