Charging rent for 21 year old 19 October 2006 at 9:40AM edited 30 November -1 at 12:00AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families 234 replies 125.9K views

bikerqueen

why bother with the allowance if you're going to take it back off her? just cut the allowance?

Bertville

I always paid my father once I was working. Not a huge amount but I paid an amount for housekeeping and then also shared the Council Tax and Cable TV bills plus paid for my phone calls.

Nothing wrong with learning how to have to budget for living expenses.

annie-c

robnye wrote:

on a slightly different tack....... when do you think is the right time to charge your children housekeeping....... 16/17, my eldest daughter is 16 1/2, she shares 2 paper rounds with her yougner sister, but is intending to get a parttime job (she is at 6 form college), meaning her income should go from £20 a week to £100 a week.
would we (my wife an I) be fair in starting to charge her housekeeping, baring in mind we currently give her a small monthly allowance, which we have decided she will get until she finishes college (unless her wages are more)

Personally I think age 16 is a world away from age 21 and I would be inclined to behave quite differently in this situation. My inclination (assuming that you can afford it) would be not to charge her housekeeping whilst she is still in school/college - at least until she is beyond the age where you are receiving Child Benefit for her. Given her earnings, you may feel it is time to cut her allowance, but I'd handle this carefully to make sure she doesn't feel too hard done-by and also that she doesn't take on more work than she can cope with.

Out of interest, how many hours will she be working? My preference would be to watch her and help her as she dips her toe in the water with paid employment. Whilst in college she may well at risk of overextending herself by doing too may paid hours and may later tire of her part-time job - but once her allowance is gone or once she has started paying you keep, she may find it difficult to make the best decision about whether to keep it up. You might want to make an arrangement with her that your allowance/some of her earnings go into a savings account that she could use to enable her to give up work around exam times.

JayW

What do people think earnings are for? Basically we earn so that we can pay our bills, buy our food and clothing and keep a roof over our heads. If there''s anything left then we have something for extras. That's the whole philsophy of this site - keeping our bills as low as possible so there is more for us. But it doesn't do young people any good to think their parents are there to pay the bills and therefore all their own earnings, however large or small, can be spent on the extras. It just gets them into bad habits for later on.

I don't think the old idea of 1/3 for rent, 1/3 to be saved and 1/3 for spending is a bad start. And if you happen to have enough to get by without using the 1/3 from your child, then save it for him/her later on - wedding expenses, house deposit or whatever you want to help with. But don't let them get into the habit of buying 'stuff' - it can be a difficult one to break. As can the one that says 'I can't afford the rent this week' and Mum lets them off altogether. The council and mortgage lenders aren't so lenient. Children need to learn that bills all have to be paid in the end!

shays_mum

When this happens to me, i am going to demand half of their salary!!. I am sure they will be eternally grateful when they receive a lump sum i have invested for them, when they go house-buying/get married .
I have nothing to show for my younger years, basically spending on rubbish stuff etc, so i won't make that mistake with them!

sahmx5

Our 21 year old has moved back in following a 3 year sabattical from the family home. She now pays us £50 which she thinks is v. v. reasonable out of her £200 a week salary. It was a struggle to get her to face up to her debts and move back home to save money. She is now getting back on her feet and is slowly clearing her debts.

As for the £50 we pay for everything apart from her mobile phone bill and her travel to work costs. She doesn't know it but we are saving £25 out of the 50 every week to give her a large financial cushion when she dips her toe in the water again.

Unfortunately she has remembered how wonderful it is to have meals on the table when she comes home from work and ironed clothes in her wardrobe.... I don't see her moving out in a hurry!

Throbbe

My parents pulled a bit of a fast one and asked me how much I thought I should pay. Given that they agreed straight away with my valuation, I think they had a lower figure in mind! :rotfl: IIRC it was about £30 a week, but that was over ten years ago, and I used to live in B&B during the week as I was working 100 miles away.

It does depend a bit on how independant he is. If he also takes his turn with food shops, helps out around the house and pays for his own transport etc, then a lower 'rent' would be more appropriate, if not then a 'housekeeping' element should be included.

If you're a bit worried about how good he is with money, how about gently exposing him to the realities. For example, arrange for him to pay a proportion of your council tax directly, same with mortgage and bills, take turns shopping, etc. Or you could at least 'invoice' him, showing how his rent is broken down into bills, food, mortgage, etc. I know that sounds a bit of an odd thing to do as a parent, but you will be helping him appreciate money.

If it's any comfort, a friend of mine and her son used to have some quite bitter rows about how much he paid to live at home. Within two weeks of him moving in with some friends he turned up with a big bunch of flowers to say soprry for being such an ungrateful wretch! It's quite a shock to have someone that you've always had support you suddenly ask for something in return, but you soon develop a bit of perspective. It's another one of those growing up things.

Lamarr

I agree with penny-pincher from earlier. When I was living at home & earning both before university & afterwards, I was on a low wage but the agreement was that I paid 1/3 to my mum & dad. At the time I first thought it a bit harsh, but when I looked at all the additional costs I understood. They also did me a huge favour of educating me about the cost of living before I left home. It then meant when I left I had more understanding about addtional costs and not just 'rent'.

K9cuddles

haha.. I think I jinxed myself by posting on this thread as mines just about to go up! lol

littlewren

On a slightly different note, how much should I expect my 23 yr old daughter to pay towards Council Tax per month? She brings home around £775 per month and gives me £100 for rent (food & everything, I asked for this amount as I didn't have a clue what to ask for) and the Council Tax per month is £152 - she pays £40 towards this.

I didn't know how much to ask for her contribution towards the Council Tax, hence my figure of £40 out of the £152.

I am on my own, unable to work because of long term illness, but I do receive maintenance from my ex.

She doesn't pay towards the phone bill but that's because she only makes the odd local call, most of her phone calls are done on her mobile.

Many thanks.