MSE Pregnancy Club 20

honeypop

Hi everyone, been a weird day for me today, saw a consultant this afternoon and been diagnosed with ante-natal depression. Truthfully should have seen someone weeks ago but I thought everything I was feeling was normal pregnancy related types things and tried to 'get on with it' myself. They put in an urgent referral to see the counsellor and hope that I get an appointment by next week (am 38 weeks this week, so not much time left!).

Midwife referred me to the consultant after my routine appointment last week after I broke down in her room and felt a right idiot for saying I was constantly tired, highly emotional (tears several times a day, over everything and nothing), very miserable (again over nothing), no feelings of wanting to get dressed, do anything around the house, didn't leave the house for 5 days out of 7 for a good few weeks (weekends were spent pretending to be fine with DH so I got out), didn't want to see anyone, mood swings with DH who honestly couldn't be any more helpful around the house so really unwarranted. There's more but it still seems all so silly to mention as in my head these are all normal when pregnant, especially towards the end when feeling a right heavy lump. But apparently it's all a cause for concern for the midwife and consultant who say the level of everything I'm feeling and all at the same time needs addressing.

I want to say there's nothing wrong with me but if I'm honest to myself I know it isn't all ok and some days I feel like I'm thinking with someone elses brain and thinking things that I would never normally do, and having completely different reactions to things. It all feels really dark and scary, then when i have a 'good' day I can't believe some of the things I was thinking.

Reading this back, I make myself feel like it's all nothing and to carry on as I am, but I know when I get another bad day it could all be worse (last time I got a bag packed to leave DH and DS as I was sure they'd be better off without a moaning wife/mum all the time). Do I sound crazy to anyone else?

vroombroom

evening ladies

I got the ikea cot and mattress in the end. I'll take a pic of it later x

today was my first day back after the weekend. By some miracle of god cow bag boss is no longer my boss - my team are going through some 4 week training programme and as I am leaving soon, they have moved me teams:D the team bought me some baby presents though - a baby bath, loads of Johnsons stuff, a big box of nappies and babygrows and vests:D

I am absolute agony with my back again. I've been stuck on the settee for 40 mins cos it hurts to move. OH isnt back from work till 8:30:(

gizmodo_2

Hello everyone. Sorry I haven't read back but I just want to ask something and my mum is here at the mo....

I've had quite an emotional day. My rabbit is really not well so I've been stressed out and crying loads about that. And now to top it off...

I had my 40 week appointment and I've been measured 34cm! Now probably I wouldn't worry normally, but with my rabbit being ill it's just all got too much.

The midwife said not to worry and to not be concerned at all about it but she _has_ to refer me to the consultant about it as it's part of the guidelines. She reckons it's just the position of the baby (I mean I've been measuring spot on since they started).

So now I have to go to hospital tomorrow to see a consultant who will then decide whether I need to have a scan or not.

I know there's probably nothing to worry about but I just feel like everything is crashing down around me today.

My rabbit isn't eating (and this is bad for rabbits) and I have to force feed her now which isn't fun. I honestly don't know if she is going to pull through or not

ticklepenny_2

honeypop wrote: »

Hi everyone, been a weird day for me today, saw a consultant this afternoon and been diagnosed with ante-natal depression. Truthfully should have seen someone weeks ago but I thought everything I was feeling was normal pregnancy related types things and tried to 'get on with it' myself. They put in an urgent referral to see the counsellor and hope that I get an appointment by next week (am 38 weeks this week, so not much time left!).

Midwife referred me to the consultant after my routine appointment last week after I broke down in her room and felt a right idiot for saying I was constantly tired, highly emotional (tears several times a day, over everything and nothing), very miserable (again over nothing), no feelings of wanting to get dressed, do anything around the house, didn't leave the house for 5 days out of 7 for a good few weeks (weekends were spent pretending to be fine with DH so I got out), didn't want to see anyone, mood swings with DH who honestly couldn't be any more helpful around the house so really unwarranted. There's more but it still seems all so silly to mention as in my head these are all normal when pregnant, especially towards the end when feeling a right heavy lump. But apparently it's all a cause for concern for the midwife and consultant who say the level of everything I'm feeling and all at the same time needs addressing.

I want to say there's nothing wrong with me but if I'm honest to myself I know it isn't all ok and some days I feel like I'm thinking with someone elses brain and thinking things that I would never normally do, and having completely different reactions to things. It all feels really dark and scary, then when i have a 'good' day I can't believe some of the things I was thinking.

Reading this back, I make myself feel like it's all nothing and to carry on as I am, but I know when I get another bad day it could all be worse (last time I got a bag packed to leave DH and DS as I was sure they'd be better off without a moaning wife/mum all the time). Do I sound crazy to anyone else?

Having read this I have realised that I had all of this when pg with DD, I just assumed it was all normal pg hormone related stuff and the only person who knew how I felt was OH. Really wish I'd asked for help as I was a wreck. I was having regular nightmares as well which Id never had previously.This time I have been far more normal (well normal for me).

Thank you for posting about this, I realise it cant have been easy as even though I felt able to talk about everything else I didnt share this.

ETA ((Hugs)) Giz hope rabbit is feeling better soon, and am sure baby is just being a pesky pixie (they do like to keep us on our toes). x

Teenie_D

honeypop wrote: »

Hi everyone, been a weird day for me today, saw a consultant this afternoon and been diagnosed with ante-natal depression. Truthfully should have seen someone weeks ago but I thought everything I was feeling was normal pregnancy related types things and tried to 'get on with it' myself. They put in an urgent referral to see the counsellor and hope that I get an appointment by next week (am 38 weeks this week, so not much time left!).

Midwife referred me to the consultant after my routine appointment last week after I broke down in her room and felt a right idiot for saying I was constantly tired, highly emotional (tears several times a day, over everything and nothing), very miserable (again over nothing), no feelings of wanting to get dressed, do anything around the house, didn't leave the house for 5 days out of 7 for a good few weeks (weekends were spent pretending to be fine with DH so I got out), didn't want to see anyone, mood swings with DH who honestly couldn't be any more helpful around the house so really unwarranted. There's more but it still seems all so silly to mention as in my head these are all normal when pregnant, especially towards the end when feeling a right heavy lump. But apparently it's all a cause for concern for the midwife and consultant who say the level of everything I'm feeling and all at the same time needs addressing.

I want to say there's nothing wrong with me but if I'm honest to myself I know it isn't all ok and some days I feel like I'm thinking with someone elses brain and thinking things that I would never normally do, and having completely different reactions to things. It all feels really dark and scary, then when i have a 'good' day I can't believe some of the things I was thinking.

Reading this back, I make myself feel like it's all nothing and to carry on as I am, but I know when I get another bad day it could all be worse (last time I got a bag packed to leave DH and DS as I was sure they'd be better off without a moaning wife/mum all the time). Do I sound crazy to anyone else?

No sweetheart you do not sound crazy, you are someone who is suffering from depression and it a terrible, scary thing to go through. It's really good that the midwife has had the common senes to know that it is not just pregnancy related and hopefully you will get the help soon. ((hugs))

Flower fingers crossed things happen sooner rather than later hun, to think you will probably be holding your baby this time tomorrow

Giz sorry to hear about your poorly bunny, hope she gets better soon. All the best for the scan tomorrow.

Evansangel

Annibee, i am indeed on xbox

honeypop

ticklepenny wrote: »

Having read this I have realised that I had all of this when pg with DD, I just assumed it was all normal pg hormone related stuff and the only person who knew how I felt was OH. Really wish I'd asked for help as I was a wreck. I was having regular nightmares as well which Id never had previously.This time I have been far more normal (well normal for me).

Thank you for posting about this, I realise it cant have been easy as even though I felt able to talk about everything else I didnt share this.

I only told DH about it all last week and he made me promise to mention it to the midwife, he was sad I hadn't told him weeks ago but I got really good at hiding it around him. There's no way I'd tell anyone else in 'real life', I feel so silly and part of me thinks people will just think it's all normal pregnancy hormone stuff and I'm making a fuss over nothing.

Teenie_D wrote: »

No sweetheart you do not sound crazy, you are someone who is suffering from depression and it a terrible, scary thing to go through. It's really good that the midwife has had the common senes to know that it is not just pregnancy related and hopefully you will get the help soon. ((hugs))

Thanks, hopefully will get the counselling session very soon, if not then next week they will look at prescribing some medication for me, which I want to avoid but know it's for the best really.

Evansangel

Honeypop, you dont have to have medication. I have declined it and am getting help otherways

honeypop

Thanks EA, I know I don't have to have it but to be honest I'm a bit worried there isn't time to 'help' me before the baby comes and the midwife is concerned if it isn't addressed now then it may become worse as PND. Hopefully I get the counselling session and won't need the medication anyway.
I kind of (naively) thought that if people knew they weren't feeling 'right in the head' then they could maybe stop it themselves, now I know it's much more than that.

Edit: If you don't mind me asking, what other ways are helping you?

Evansangel

I have 12 sessions of councilling that i can use at any time and my HV comes round to talk and to help me with how i feel and she's also getting some people to come round to help me to play with Lily. I cant go to the mental health nurse as im not in the catchment area