does anyone know what constitutes "several times throughout the day"?

Indie_Kid

Jen - your link doesn't work.

pipkin71

kazzah60 wrote: »

thanks ONW - but the actual problem he has is undoing his button and zip on his trousers and doing them up again when finished
and as another poster pointed out - there isn't a suitable aid to do that - it just seems strange to me that they accept he needs help to dress and undress but that needing that help to go to the toilet is being ignored and also that it doesn't constitute several time throughout the day

I don't know how old your son is, but would pull on trousers - like jogging bottoms - be easier for your son to manage on his own, when he needs to urinate?

GlasweJen

it's https://www.figleaves.com/uk and then do a search for front fastening bras. The USA site has some better ones, most of the ones in the UK look a bit granny-ish

pipkin71

kazzah60 wrote: »

This doesn't help your original enquiry but drawstring and elastc waisted trousers can be much easier than the conventional kind.

herein lies the problem ONW - he has to wear a uniform with regulation trousers for his school previously and now for his chosen career - and apart from that he HATES elaticated waists or drawstings or anything that smacks of "needing " adjustments - I know that seems silly- but he does try VERY hard to cope and be as "nornal" as possible- i do tell him lots of people choose to wear elasticated trousers or drawstrings ( which would still be ahrd to undo one handed) but he has always hated wearing them[/QUOTE]

This answers my post.

Perhaps there will be something useful on the link provided by DMG, which will help

bertiebat

GlasweJen wrote: »

it's www.figleaves.com/uk and then do a search for front fastening bras. The USA site has some better ones, most of the ones in the UK look a bit granny-ish

Thanks for that and sh for the idea of front fastening bras.

Unfortunately I'm restricted to mastectomy bras. I'm having a look now but it's a very limited selection. Really annoying as I can't be on my own with this requirement (problems with my arms are as a result of the mastectomy surgeries and unfortunately it's not that rare).

themull1

I would rather wear elasticated trousers than have someone coming to the toilet with me, i would feel as though i was wasting the other persons time when its easily remidied by just wearing a slightly different waist trousers.

GlasweJen

As far as the DWP are concerned it's up to your son to negotiate with his employer re. the trousers. Wearing a uniform to work isn't a care need, if the employer has an issue with your son wearing non-regulation trousers then they should be looking to get him support through access to work or similar.

kazzah60

GlasweJen wrote: »

As far as the DWP are concerned it's up to your son to negotiate with his employer re. the trousers. Wearing a uniform to work isn't a care need, if the employer has an issue with your son wearing non-regulation trousers then they should be looking to get him support through access to work or similar.

ok - so when he is not at work he must wear elasticated waist trousers then? :mad:
he does not want to be any different to any other 19 year old
this thread was about what constitutes several times throughout the day - NOT where can my son get trousers that are different to every other 19 year olds

the DWP have ACCEPTED that he needs help to dress and undress - they have NOT accepted that this help is needed throughout the day to help with going to the toilet - this thread was to try and find someone who could give me an idea about what constitutes several time per day according to the DWP

this is nothing to do with access to work - who by the way are not as helpful as you might think - they currently won't pay for interpreters for two deaf people my husband works with - citing that the costs are too high.
I hardly think they will source or pay for suitable trousers for my son - nor are they likley to pay someone to undo his button for him

sorry to sound harsh - but just because he has a disability should not mean he should have to dress/look different to anyone else
he WANTS to be the same as his fellow students - and that is all -
he is 19 and TRYING to fit in as best he can.

pipkin71

kazzah60 wrote: »

ok - so when he is not at work he must wear elasticated waist trousers then? :mad:
he does not want to be any different to any other 19 year old
this thread was about what constitutes several times throughout the day - NOT where can my son get trousers that are different to every other 19 year olds

the DWP have ACCEPTED that he needs help to dress and undress - they have NOT accepted that this help is needed throughout the day to help with going to the toilet - this thread was to try and find someone who could give me an idea about what constitutes several time per day according to the DWP

this is nothing to do with access to work - who by the way are not as helpful as you might think - they currently won't pay for interpreters for two deaf people my husband works with - citing that the costs are too high.
I hardly think they will source or pay for suitable trousers for my son - nor are they likley to pay someone to undo his button for him

sorry to sound harsh - but just because he has a disability should not mean he should have to dress/look different to anyone else
he WANTS to be the same as his fellow students - and that is all -
he is 19 and TRYING to fit in as best he can.

Not being funny kazzah, but, as a disabled person, there are lots of things I have to do differently to others my own age / other adults.

I don't like it, but it makes things easier, and let's face it, you have to manage your disability the best way you can, and if that means doing things slightly differently, then surely that's better than the other option of having to rely on someone else.

From what you've posted, maybe your son needs to come to terms with his disability, and with the fact that he may have to wear slighlty different clothes.

Personally, I would have thought wearing slightly different clothes and being independent was a better option than stubbornly not wearing different clothes and having to rely on someone else ??

Is your son happy needing to be reliant on other people at his age? Talk to him, let him know that different types of trousers brings independence.

Appeal the DSS decision if need be, but, for your son, promoting independence will be good for him, and I don't mean that in a condescending way, as he clearly already has some independence, and at his age, they can be stubborn, but different trousers really are a better option than asking someone at work to go to the bathroom with him.

How will he be fitting in if he is the only one who needs someone else to go to the bathroom with him? Honestly, that is not being the same as the others, it is being different and standing out, when he doesn't need to.

GlasweJen

I'm 24, when I was your sons age I was fitted with a cardiac pacemaker. When they put the box in they damaged a nerve and I couldn't use my left arm properly for several months. I was also a student and I had a job that required a uniform, I also had a boyfriend and was mortified at having to wear bras that do up the front and look like something my granny would wear! I wore a skirt to work (i realise this isn't an option for your son), I couldn't wear jumpers or t-shirts or pyjama tops for 3 months. I already received DLA (and still do) for the cardiac problem but this was already being spent on meals on wheels and other services that i needed - there was no money left over to get help dressing.

Access to work wont pay for someone to follow your son around every time he goes to the toilet if an adaption of the uniform would be more sufficient, they would however talk to your sons work about an alternate to the uniform.

As someone who is going to be like this permanantly your son really needs to get a grip on the situation now, perhaps a referal to a counsellor if he is this upset about what type of trousers he can wear?