Kicked my son out of the house and am devastated!

Laurenbelle

I have an 18 year old son who just isn't respecting us as a family or the rules of the house etc and we asked him to leave yesterday. He has just come home asking to be let back in and we said no and i feel sick. This has happened once before and we said ok and within days he was back to his old self.
It is so hard being a parent. Can anyone share any experience or advice with regards to this please. I have no idea if we have done the right thing.
Thankyou!

**curlywurly**

Sorry, I don't have any experience of this but I really feel for you, your heart must be breaking. I'd probably give him another chance but it depends on the circumstances of what he has done/not done. I hope you sort it out soon xxx

Bennifred

Hi there - I don't have any advice, but as the mother of sons who has had a fair few rough patches with one of them, I just wanted to give you my sympathy.
Do you have any idea where he is staying? Does he have a job (income)? How long ago was the episode he didn't learn from?

You're right, it can be very hard being a parent! But it sounds to me as if you were pushed pretty far if you asked him to leave - and we all know about having to carry out what we say we will, or the lesson won't be learnt......

nickyhutch

I obviously don;t know the whole background, but I couldn't see my son homeless. What's he done?

welshcamper

hi, i know how you are feeling, threw my 2 sons out on thursday aged 19 and 20 i have just had enough with the attitude and the disrespect and everything else.

i feel awful..guilty and very emotional..but i know i cant put up with it anymore..but it dosnt stop the feelings inside..i have gave them lots of chances before..and they havnt changed..sorry for my wafflings:(

Bubby

I do feel for you but I just cannot understand parents who make their children homeless. As their parents you have responsibility for them through good and bad times.

globetraveller

Bubby wrote: »

I do feel for you but I just cannot understand parents who make their children homeless. As their parents you have responsibility for them through good and bad times.

then you won't have gone through what the op has. I can understand it though- have seen what an "adult child" can do to a whole family. Sometimes you just have to use tough love.

welshcamper

Bubby wrote: »

I do feel for you but I just cannot understand parents who make their children homeless. As their parents you have responsibility for them through good and bad times.

when you have two 6ft4 men screaming and shouting at you, bad attitudes and door slamming, breaking things and a lot more(and no father influence for years) and your 6 year old daughter is seeing all this!!..bad times?....ive been there through bad times for years with them but enoughs enough but it still an awful thing to do but its come to a point where i had no option...perhaps the op had no option

Oldernotwiser

Bubby wrote: »

I do feel for you but I just cannot understand parents who make their children homeless. As their parents you have responsibility for them through good and bad times.

These are not children - these are adults.

mazinmouse

Can't really give you any advice from my own experience but I do hope this second time of throwing him out is focusing your son's mind. By not letting him back in it probably is, especially if you let him return home the next day, the last time this happened.

I imagine it must be difficult to convey the message that it's his behaviour you don't love/find intolerable, not him, when the chances are that he won't be making that distinction in his mind. Keep strong.

Money_maker

Is this one your stepson? How does his father feel about it?

I'm sure you are doing the right thing if he's kicking off with you and your other children around. If its just laziness and teenage attitude, then it could be the wrong thing.

Sorry, thats not much help is it!